Redemption
by bernicewatson
Summary: Damon and Elena dated for 2 years in college but when things got too serious she ran, now 2 years later they will come face to face again, can she redeem herself or is it too late? All Human. Rated M just in case. UPDATE: The chapters get much longer
1. Chapter 1

"Ugh, Caroline! I'm telling you if there is one ounce of you that actually cares about me you will not make me go to this party!" For weeks now all I've heard about was the fantastic birthday party Caroline was throwing for her boyfriend Stefan. Now don't get me wrong I have nothing against Stefan, in fact he was one of the first people to befriend me at NYU. No my problem with this party went much deeper than that.

"you have to go! Stefan knows why you always act weird him, but what would he think if you missed his birthday party, that's just mean. He shouldn't be punished for your history with Damon, the only person dragging this out and making these gatherings awkward is you. It's been four years Elena, don't you think it's time to grow up and move past all this nonsense" and she was right; A little harsh, but right and I needed to hear it. Stefan should not be punished for my childish behavior towards his brother; although I was sure to hear it from his brother when we finally see each other again.

"you know what, you're right. It has been like what? Four years?" it had been. I had no idea why I was acting as if I wasn't sure of it. "I can do this, we're both adults, and we've both moved on" I wasn't sure if I was just stating a fact or trying to convince myself of it.

"Exactly!" Caroline responded with way too much enthusiasm which was only to be expected from my bubbly best friend.

"alright, well I'm gonna go get ready before I talk myself out of this again" and with that we hugged and said are goodbyes, I paused just outside her front door and took a deep breath and thought I'm finally going to face the huge mistake I made four years go head on, the mistake with eyes as blue as the ocean that could see into the depth of my very soul.

"I'm screwed"

I stopped and took in my appearance in the full length mirror, once I deemed myself suitable and made my way to my car and headed towards the restaurant. I kept telling myself that the buildup of nerves was just telling me this was going to be a bigger disaster that it really was but I knew better. If anyone could hold a grudge it was Damon Salvatore, when you where on his good side, or even better on the small list of people he loved he really had your back and would do anything for you, but heaven help you if you were on the receiving end of things, and somehow I had gotten myself just there.

How had this happened? How had we gotten here? How had we been so close and in love for two years only to have me standing outside a restaurant that I had been to over a hundred times pacing back forth trying not to break out into a full on panic attack. Although I didn't really need to keep asking myself these questions because I already knew exactly how we had gotten here; I had gotten here all an my own, I had ruined my own chance at happiness with one simple emotion…

…Fear.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey Guys! Thanks for all the follows and favorites! So this is sort of my first fanfic, I tried my hand at it over a year ago and I just found the uploading process too complicated and gave up, but they seem to have updated it and it is much better. So, a little clarification, Damon and Elena dated for 2 years and have been broken up for 2 years so in the last chapter I totally messed up when I said it had been 4 years since they've talked it's only been 2, please forgive me. Most of this chapter is a flashback (in italics). Reviews are greatly appreciated! Idea's, criticism (constructively) or a little encouragement is awesome, cause as a first timer this is a little stressful. Ok enough about me! Onto the story we go. Enjoy! **

* * *

** Flashback to Elena's freshman year of college:**

_"You're a life saver Stefan! I have no idea how I would've gotten through this English assignment without you. Maybe I should reconsider my decision to be a writing major" I've wanted to be a writer ever since I can remember, I know my mom kind of pushed me into it, and after I lost my parents it only solidified my decision to pursue it as a career, but as of lately its proven to be a more difficult feat then I thought it would. _

_"don't be silly Elena, English literature and creative writing are actually really different, when it comes to writing and getting your words out on paper you've got it covered, this is just a little obstacle in your road for now, but no doubt you'll get over it" Stefan Salvatore was a great guy, I met him on the first day of my English lit class at NYU, sometimes I think he might have a bit of a crush on me but he's never tried to cross that line, and I'm grateful for it cause while he's a great guy he's just not my type and I would never want to hurt him. "Alright well I better get going, I'm supposed to go meet my brother in the quad area, do you wanna walk with me?" _

_"Sure" we walked in silence for a while till I spoke up "you didn't tell me you had a brother, are you guys close?" _

_"yeah, he goes to school here too, he's in his junior year, and wants to be a lawyer, he's a major pain in the ass, but when push comes to shove he's always there for me and has my back. You wouldn't know it by the way we talk to each other but he's my best friend." _

_I couldn't help but smile "I know the annoying sibling act all too well; it's s nice that you guys are at the same school, I miss my brother a lot" my younger brother Jeremy was still in Mystic Falls with our Aunt Jenna. Just then my thoughts were interrupted by the most smooth velvet voice I have ever heard._

_"Hey Stef, who's your lady friend" he said with a seductive smirk and a flirty wiggle of his eyebrows. _

_ Stefan let out an annoyed sigh, "Damon this is Elena, Elena this is my brother Damon, the ass" I heard a chuckle but was too busy taking in his appearance to care. He was breathtakingly beautiful. Hair black as night that fell over his forehead in just the right way; to make it look like he didn't care, but at the same time like he just stepped off the cover of a vogue magazine. His eyes were as blue as the most beautiful ocean… just then I heard someone cleat their throat and noticed Damon had been holding his hand out._

_"Oh, sorry! It's nice to meet you" I said as a blush crept up my cheeks betraying me as always, as I held out my hand to reciprocate his. _

_"It's very nice to meet you too" he said; and with wiggle of his eyebrows he brought my hand to his mouth and placed a soft kiss on the top of it, and I swear to god, I was melting... And the butterflies in my stomach were sent into high alert. _

_Just then I glanced at Stefan, remembering that we were not alone, and caught him rolling his eyes, clearly annoyed with his brother; and thought this must happen a lot. Deciding to spare Stefan some annoyance I decided it was best if I just dismissed myself "I better get going to my next class. See you in English tomorrow Stefan?" _

_"Yeah of course, see you then" he smiled _

_"It was nice meeting you Damon, maybe I'll see you around campus sometime" ugh! Did I just say that? Do I even want to see him around sometime? What the hell? _

_"Oh, I sure hope so" it was laced with pure sexuality, enough to make me swoon. _

_Making sure I was stable I made my way across the quad to my next class, thinking the next time I see Damon Salvatore could not come soon enough._

* * *

**End of flashback**

I was torn from the bitter sweet memory by a shriek that could only be produced by Caroline Forbes "Yay! You came!"

"Yep, I'm here" I tried to give her a genuine smile, and feign some kind of excitement, but I could tell it was very tight lipped and sounded completely fake, luckily Caroline was distracted by greeting a heard of new guests walking through the door.

I started scanning the crowd and I was suddenly very giddy at the idea of seeing Damon again, and then my eyes came to a halt as I noticed a very toned back, clad in a grey expensive designer suit with jet black hair about fifteen feet away from me, the person slowly started to turn around and it felt like time stopped, god I'm pathetic. Sure enough seconds later my brown eyes were met with that magnificent blue that could read my very soul for the first time in two years and as I slowly looked him over I noticed his hand was intertwined with another, and as he started approaching me my heart stopped.

"Hello, Elena"

* * *

**End A/N: Ok so I know this chapter was pretty slow but it was the essential first meeting, I promise things will pick up from here. Any suggestions? Who's hand is Damon holding, should it be Katherine or Andie? Please Review.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey Guys! Thank you so much for the reviews! I really appreciate your ideas, and I do need to make the chapters longer I totally agree, I really tried with this one and it was, but for some reason when I went to upload it the file was gone so I ended up having to rewrite the whole chapter, I think I got most of it back but there was some I just couldn't remember, but in the future I will definitely work on that, ok enough, enjoy!**

**p.s. I read through this a couple of times but rushed to get it out to you, so please excuse any mistakes =/**

* * *

"…Elena…" Damon repeats, pulling me out of my shocked state to see him and his mystery date staring at me waiting for my reply.

"Oh, I'm sorry… uh, Damon ho… um, how are you?" I try my best to sound nonchalant but in reality I just sound like a babbling idiot.

"Still a little slow on the up take I see" I knew better then to think he was going to greet me with open arms, but it still stung to hear the coldness in his voice, I tone a knew well but hadn't been directed at me in a long time.

"Oh me… I'm, fiiine" he smirks while looking his date up and down, now that was low, even for him. "Oh my wear are my mannors" he put his hand over his heart to feign sincerity "Andie this is Elena, Elena this is Andie, my girlfriend" and of course his signature smirk is as smug as always; never faltering.

I take a few seconds to stifle down the lump in my throat "Hi, Andie; its nice to meet you" and I offer her my hand, which she returns with a surprisingly genuine smile.

"It's nice to meet you too, I just love your dress, you look absolutely stunning" and just like her smile she sounds equally as genuine. So genuine that I'm sure she's completely in the dark about my past with Damon.

"Oh thank you!" I try and sound equally sincere before trying to dismiss myself " Well, I'm sure Caroline is running around like crazy woman; I better see if she needs some help. It was really nice to meet you Andie; Damon, good to see you again" I smile politely, and turn to walk away.

I hear Damon whispering something behind me and just when I think I'm free I feel him grab my upper arm and spin me around. I'm immediately met with his menacing gaze.

"Seriously?! That's it? I don't see or hear from you in two years and you think five minutes of you time will suffice? You sure think a lot more of yourself then you should"

"What did you want Damon? For me to stick around, so you could belittle me and insult me in front of your date? Is that your thing now?"

"Don't! Don't you dare try and judge me. You don't get to act jealous and try and make me feel guilty anymore, you lost that right when you walked away, I'm older and smarter now, and I'm sure as hell done with your fucking mind games" I'm genuinely shocked

"My mind games?! You're the one who dated my look alike not four months after we broke up!" how dare he say I'm playing games.

"Hmm, keeping tabs on me are you? I mean I cant really blame you, I mean have you seen m…"

"Ugh!" I didn't even bother to let him finish "Are you kidding me right now? We're not even in the same room ten minutes before things get so…"

"sexual" ugh, that stupid smirk, I have to work to hold onto my anger

"No! Toxic. God not two ago minutes you were insulting and glaring at me, and now you're what? Flirting? Is that what you're doing? One day I'm going to have permanent whiplash thanks to you"

"Oh please Elena, you know better then to take my flirting seriously, I flirt with everyone, including the help. I would have to be majorly brain damaged to ever put myself through the emotional rollercoaster otherwise known as Elena Gilberts life" although we ended on a bad note, it still hurt to hear what he thought of our time together, he was now publically diminishing something that I thought despite our lows was still something to be cherished.

"Ha! That's rich, I'm sorry I don't know when to take you seriously Damon, not everyone goes around pulling at people emotions like guitar strings!"

He lets out a non humorous laugh" after all these years you still can't get over yourself and out of your own head for ten minutes, can you? Until you learn to live life and stop over thinking everything you will always be alone Elena Gilbert" and there it was the twist of the knife that caused me to lose it. I want nothing more at this point then to smack that smirk of his face, so much so that I shove my hand in my pockets to keep myself from following through with it.

"I don't over think things Damon, you just think I do because you don't ever think about anything! You never stop to think about the consequences of your actions!" I didn't realize I was shouting.

"Oh really? All I did was think! I tried so hard to make you happy and you know it, it was just never enough for you! You only thought of yourself. I may be reckless but you're as selfish as they come!" things were spiraling out of control, and fast.

"That's not true at all, if that was the case things wouldn't have ended like they did, and we never would have ended up on the downward spiral that ended us. I wasn't trying to be selfish. I was in a bad place Damon, I couldn't think about helping you because I didn't even know how to help myself" we were painfully close to broaching a topic I had zero desire to revisit tonight, or ever.

"How is that my fault? You left me to fend for myself; I don't remember you ever asking me if I was ok? How I was feeling? Did you even care?" we shouldn't be having this talk in a crowded restaurant.

I feel someone grabbing my shoulder and I hear Caroline's urgent voice from behind me " Elena honey, you need to take a breath, get some fresh air, just take a beat and don't do this, you're going to say things you don't mean" I know she's right so I force myself to take a deep breath and close my eyes. When I feel calm enough and stop seeing red I turn to leave Damon drowning in his own sea of fear and anger.

"That's right Elena, just walk away"

I pray that he's done, but right before I make my final getaway Damon's softer voice breaks through my sea of calm…

…"It's not my fault we lost the baby"

* * *

**End A/N: so I totally agree I'm not much for Katherine either but I had to throw her in there someway because it just wouldn't be TVD without her, I still don't quite know how serious Andie is going to be so feel free to share your thoughts, and again I will try harder to make the next one longer. Let me know what you think, please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Authors Note:**

**OMG! I can't believe how long it has been since I updated... I moved and have been super busy with work, and trying to find internet providers and such, but there is honestly NO excuse for how long it's been. So I hope you all will just except my apology and enjoy this chapter, I tried to get it done and edited quickly so I could get it out to you guys! Again please excuse any mistakes and grammatical errors, I would absolutely LOVE your feedback even though I don't at all deserve it. Anyway without further ado... please read on and enjoy!**

**2 Years Ago**

It had been 2 weeks since I had been introduced to Damon Salvatore, and no matter how brief our interaction may have been I still have not been able to get him out of my head. And god, it's driving me crazy…

Here I am sitting at the campus coffee shop trying to study for a really big exam I have coming up and I can't stop myself from thinking about that smirk of his, at first I thought it was egotistical and annoying but the more it pops into my head the more I find it just plain cute. I can't help but think of those piercing blue eyes, and for the life of me I can't stop myself from wishing that he would be one of the multitudes of guys walking into the coffee shop.

I told myself that if I did bump into him again I would have it together this time; I would not babble on like some 14 year old with a schoolgirl crush on a senior boy.

Ok… enough of this I really need to study… "Hey Elena!" I look up to find Caroline standing at my table, I hope she just got there and didn't catch me daydreaming cause I would never hear the end of it until she knew every little detail about the inner workings of my mind.

"Hey Care, what's up?"

"Why have you not been answering my calls? Anyway, it's not important. I just talked to Stefan and he said his parents are going to be out of town and they want him to house sit for the weekend and he decided to throw a party, which I know, it sounds super childish to throw a party at your parents house when we're all in college but their house is supposed to be super nice; they have pool tables, a fully stocked bar, and even a swimming pool, so you totally have to come " Caroline finally stops to take a breath.

"Ok" Caroline looks at me shocked, and to be honest I'm even a little shocked by how quickly I agree to this, but I'm even more embarrassed because I know exactly why I agreed so quickly.

Caroline gets over her shock, but of course can't let it go, "that's it? No complaining? No moaning and groaning? You're not even going to make me beg? Are you ok?"

"Yes Care, I'm fine. I just think I could use a break you know?" She looks at me skeptically and I pray that she'll let it go.

"Are you kidding? I'm the one who's always telling you that you need a break… You know, it doesn't even matter. I'm not going to bother you. I'm just glad you're gonna be there!" she hugs me quickly and leaves me alone with my thoughts; they immediately go back to Damon and how much I hope he will be at this party

* * *

Six dresses and a mountain of clothes on my floor later and I've finally picked a dress that I think will do just fine, I told Caroline that I would drive my self to the party in case I decided to back out, which my bad case of nerves was seriously trying to convince me to do. Lost in my own thoughts I'm surprised when I find myself pulling into the Salvatore mansion driveway; and when I say mansion I mean... whoa…

There are tons of people in the house since Stefan is part of a big campus fraternity, I don't see anyone I know and I think about making a run for it before anyone notices I'm here; but then as if I can sense him I turn and lock onto to those amazing blue eyes; the ones that have been a part of almost every thought and dream since I first laid eyes on them, and suddenly all of my nerves melt away and are replaced by eagerness to get to know what's behind the eyes.

Again Caroline interrupts my thoughts, with her ever-perfecting timing, "Hey I'm so glad you came!" I smile and give her a hug and notice that her arm is wrapped around Stefan's… I wonder when that started? "Hey, care. Hey Stefan, great party, seems like most of the school is here" I joke.

"Yeah, it's a really great turn out. I'd like to take credit for being so popular, but to be quite honest I don't even know half of these people; Hey! Damon, you remember Elena right?" I turn and notice he's stopped and joined our group; oh thank God.

"Of course; I could never forget the beautiful girl with the beautiful name" he grabs my hand and kisses the top of it and I giggle; just like before I'm a school girl all over again.

Caroline just scoffs.

"Hey Damon, its good to see you again, your parents have a lovely home"

"Eh, it's a little old fashioned for me" Caroline and Stefan dismiss themselves to go make the rounds of the party.

"It must have been amazing to grow up here"

"Amazing? Maybe. But I definitely couldn't call it a childhood" he tried his hardest to make it sound like he was just making some kind of cryptic joke, but I could tell there was definitely more behind it. "Can I get you anything to drink, something to hold to and fiddle with? You seem nervous"

I cant help blush at his acknowledgement "sorry, yeah I'm I little nervous, parties aren't really my thing. In fact this is the first big college party I've been to, but um, yeah a drink would be great, thanks" we walk over to the drink table and Damon starts mixing a martini of some sort.

"First big college party huh? You're a sophomore right? How is that possible? A pretty girl like you must be invited to things like this all the time" he hands me my drink and I blush at the fact that he called me pretty, despite the corny line.

"Yeah, I mean Caroline and I used to go to parties all the time in High school, it's just not my thing now" I sip my drink and cringe at the strong taste

He chuckles at my reaction and it's adorable "what changed?"

"Um, life? Things that are way to depressing to talk about at a party"

He smiles sadly at me but lets it go, thankfully. "So… if this is your first college part we must make it a memorable one, follow me" so I do, and he leads me into a den where people are playing beer pong.

"You in?" he asks

"Only if you're ready to lose," I tease him

'Yeah right… To the girl who hasn't been to party since high school?" he smirks and nudges my side

"It's just like riding a bike; so bring your A-Game Salvatore, I'm not worried" he leaves to go set up the table and the irony of how easily the banter between us comes is not lost on me.

30 minutes later and I'm the very tipsy loser of beer pong, normally I would be a little bitter but I'm having too good of a time and too much fun to care. Damon and I have spent the night exchanging stories of our time in college, although his are much more interesting then mine.

"Would you like another martini?" Damon asks

"Sure that would be great" I stand to walk over the bar with him and sway as soon as I stand.

"Or maybe I should get some fresh air instead. " I suggest

"Would you like some company?" Damon holds his arm out to me like a perfect gentleman and I gladly accept his offer.

* * *

**PRESENT DAY**

His words sting like salt in a wound, I cant even believe he would announce that in this manner, I suddenly feel like I'm going to faint "I need some air" I try to sound sure and steady but it comes out more like a pained whisper.

"Now that sounds like a great idea! It's about time Elena...how about I go with you, and you can give me some answers, sound good?" Damon starts to follow me

"Damon no! I know you don't care about her anymore, but please don't do this now, just let her go" Caroline interjects

"Caroline… this has nothing to do with you so please, just stay the hell out of it. Something you should've learned to do along time ago"

"Damon! You can't just talk to Care like that… I'm your brother and she's my girlfriend and THAT should matter to you, regardless of the past"

"You can all go to hell" and he walks away

I'm leaning against the wall wiping my eyes and trying frantically to find my keys in my blackhole of a purse. God this was a bad idea; happy freaking birthday Stefan.

"There you are! God, still the same old Elena… trying to act all high and mighty like nothing bothers you, like noting in the world matters to you, and then…when that fails you storm out of a party and start crying, well guess what sweetheart, there's no sympathy for you to find here"

I try to form my words but I don't even get a chance "hurts huh? To know that the one person in the world who used to be able to comfort you doesn't even give a damn" I think maybe he's done but of course he isn't

" I mean what the hell did you think you were going to achieve by coming here? You knew I would be here; you and Stefan may still be friends but he's my fucking brother Elena, so what were you thinking? Did you think I would be fine and just greet you like two old friends?!"

"NO!" I interrupt him "no, Damon I didn't I would have to be insane to think that…"

"Well hey! If the shoe fits, right?" he smirks and I want to slap him again

"Look, I don't know what I was thinking, maybe I wasn't. But I sure as hell don't need anymore-verbal abuse from you. You're right Damon… I did mess up… and I'm sorry for it every damn day. I feel awful for the way thing's ended between us; and believe me if I could change the past I would...but I can't. And THAT is the reality we live in." I smile sadly

"Damon? Are you ok?" I follow the voice to find a worried Andie

Damon's eyes follow my gaze over to her "Yeah, I'm fine" he turns back to me and drops his voice so she cant hear "at least someone cares"

"I have to go" I reach into my purse and by some miracle find my keys immediately "goodbye Damon" and for once I really hope it is goodbye. It least I think I do.

When I finally reach my car I let out all the emotions I was holding in tonight, maybe even longer.


	5. Chapter 5

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**Hey Guys! See! I told you I wouldn't leave you hanging again! AND! I've already started on the next chapter, so hopefully you all have forgiven me and believe me when I say it won't happen again. I really hope you all enjoyed the last Chapter; I'm trying to continue to make longer chapters, as requested. Again I apologize for any grammatical errors. Ok guys read on and enjoy!**

**FLASHBACK**

It had been a week since the Salvatore party, Damon and I had exchanged numbers but I had yet to hear from him, not that I was expecting to or anything…

I was just leaving the lecture hall when I noticed Elijah was walking with me "Hey Elena, how have you been?"

"Uh, good. I've been really good Elijah, how about you?" This wasn't awkward or anything, Elijah and I dated our first year here, it started out as a casual thing and quickly turned into a full on relationship, he was a great guy I just didn't want my first college boyfriend to be "the one", I don't know if that makes sense, most of my friends said I was crazy for ending it.

"I've been really good" he shoves his hands in his pockets and looks at me nervously "I've just been thinking…" oh no, I have to stop this.

"Elijah, please…"

"No, please just let me say this; I've been thinking about how great we were together, and I understand that the timing wasn't right between us and we moved too quick, and I get that you wanted to find yourself and all that stuff but its been a year, and I know that in that time I've changed and I'm sure you have too, so I was thinking since we're both in a different time and place now maybe we could try again"

"Elijah…" I say sympathetically

"…Just dinner, Just give me one dinner, please Elena" the look on his face is heartbreaking

"Is your number still the same?" he nods "ok, then give me some time to think about it, and I'll call you. Ok?"

"Ok, that's fine, more then fine" he smiles nicely "I look forward to hearing from you" and he walks away

I stop to take a deep breath and think about what just went down, when I hear someone exhale loudly

"Oh man! That was brutal, poor guy can't take a hint"

"Damon…" I nod in his direction and smile at his contagious smirk

"Hello Lena" it's not the first time someone has called me Lena, but I've never loved it as much as when it came from him "what was that all about?"

"Um, where to start?" I joke

"That bad huh?" he teases me back

"Kind of, that was Elijah we dated almost all of freshman year, he's a great guy and was a great boyfriend until he started talking about graduate school, and what my plans were for the future and then I freaked. He didn't deserve the way I blew him off but I just didn't want what he wanted, I mean I had just gone through some really difficult personal stuff and I had just picked myself up and gotten my life together and moved on campus away from my family and childhood home, I finally started to feel free, like life handed me a second chance; and he just made me feel tied down. Does that make sense? Anyway, like I said I freaked out and just stopped talking to him and avoided him after a year of a relationship it was childish and immature and I still feel bad about it" I look at him worriedly, thinking I may have emotionally overloaded him, but he doesn't miss a beat.

"It absolutely makes sense, I couldn't wait to move on campus and get away from my parents, I adore my mom but she can be a little suffocating sometimes even though she means well, and as for my dad… lets just say I got tired of being a constant disappointment" his eyes are swimming with sad memories that I can tell he's trying to push back under the surface "but still; can't blame a guy for trying for a second chance with you" he reaches and pushes a loose strand of hair behind my ear, he clears his throat before returning his expression back to normal

"You sure know how to make a girl feel special" I try to joke with him even though I know the blush on my face is evident

"Yeah well I try" he smiles and continues to walk with me to my next class "so listen Lena this is where I make things a little more interesting around here… A girl like you deserves options, so…" he actually looks a little nervous "I would like to suggest we have dinner sometime"

I'm stunned, I have no idea what to say so he continues for me "well, I know how you like to think these things over, you have my number so just call me and let me know what you think" he just turns and starts to walk away leaving me stunned…

Quick. I need to think fast…"yes! Damon, I'd love to"

He turns and smirks at me, before continuing on his way.

* * *

**PRESENT DAY**

I was trying my hardest to focus on my work despite everything going on, it was proving to be extremely difficult, especially since the very disturbing phone call I had just gotten from Caroline.

As soon as I heard her tone of voice I knew something was wrong; then she proceeded to tell me that Damon and Andie had apparently gotten tired of doing the long distance thing and since Andie is a news anchor here in Mystic Falls, Damon has agreed to leave New York and move to a law firm here in town; she said something else about him wanting to be closer to Stefan to try and reconnect with him.

I know this may sound selfish but I can't help but wonder if this has something to do with me, especially after what happened at Stefan's party a couple weeks ago; and I'm not sure if this prospect makes me a little happy or flat out terrified.

This changes everything… This is a tiny town and we already have the same group of friends as it is, it was never a problem with him in New York, whenever he did come to town to visit I would just make myself scarce; but now?

"Hey Elena I'm back now if you want to go to lunch" I see my co-worker and friend Bonnie standing at my desk

"Thanks Bonnie, I'll be back in a bit" I grab my purse and car keys and head out

* * *

I decide I'll just walk to the grill for a quick lunch. When I get there I grab a booth by the window since it's such a beautiful day out

Matt brings me my salad and an iced tea; it looks delicious. I hear a newspaper ruffling and I look up to see my worst nightmare sitting ten feet away from me; as if on cue he looks up at the same time; I notice his smirk is particularly menacing today.

"Well, well, twice in one week, are you stalking me now? Is that what your life has come to?" he gets up to move over to my booth and suddenly this day isn't so beautiful anymore

"Why don't you just save it and stay in your own booth, since apparently you lost the ability to form a friendly sentence along time ago" I suggest, or more like silently pray

"Nah, too easy on you" he takes a seat "so still eating at the local dive I see… you always did find this dump "charming" or so you said the first time you brought me here"

"If I remember correctly you thoroughly enjoyed our time here," I think back to the trip we took here when we first started dating. How I took him to the falls; how we made love in the water, how everything changed… I blush. And it doesn't go unnoticed by Damon…

"Ok. Enough with memory road" he barks out bitterly

"What are you even doing here?" I ask

"Oh come on, with a loud mouth like Caroline as a friend you know exactly what I'm doing here," he states flatly

"What are you doing here now? Today?" I ask annoyed.

"This place may be a dump but oddly enough it's the only place in town that has decent bourbon"

"Drinking at noon? Shame on you" I mockingly scold him

"I have you to thank for that habit" he picks up his glass and tips it to me before taking a big gulp, and it hurts.

"I'm looking for a new place" he holds up the newspaper, as if it's obvious "god, pickings are slim in this shit hole town"

"Ha, well you're not exactly an easy person to please" normally he would have hit me with some dirty innuendo, the fact that he doesn't is just another painful reminder that everything has changed. "If this place is such a shit hole, why even move here?" I ask, even though I probably don't really want to know the answer

"Well you know, Andie is here, and… love makes us do crazy things" his confession of love over this woman that he hasn't even known for more then 6 months is enough to knock the air out of me; the look on his face proves he knows exactly the effect it has on me… he knows how to hit where it hurts and he's not going to stop

"I know it seems kind of fast but its amazing how effortlessly these things go when the other half of the relationship isn't constantly nagging you about why you don't love them back, something you never quite got; isn't that right… Lena" and with that he leaves me alone feeling like I'm going to throw up.

* * *

**END AUTHORS NOTE:**

Sorry if the timeline is a little confusing, I'm still trying to work out some kinks, plus I changed my mind from the first Chapter till now, but here is what I've established so far, I hope it clears up any confusion. Pease, please, please review and let me know what you're thinking, let me know what you like; dislike, or any ideas you guys have for this story. See you next time!

Elena, Stefan, Caroline= sophomores at NYU

Damon=Senior NYU

Damon and Elena met her sophomore year, not freshman (sorry for the mistake)

Total they've all known each other for about 4 years


	6. Chapter 6

**Flashback **

Oh my gosh, I'm going to have a nervous breakdown, nothing is going the way it's supposed to. I've been trying to get ready for my date with Damon and between my hair not turning out the way it was supposed to an Caroline giving me awful fashion advice it's been a nightmare. I don't know who she thinks she is helping get ready for a date, Elena her friend or Elena the stripper, and she's so insistent that I've taken to hiding in the bathroom

"You can't hide in there forever Elena!" she's right.

"Ok, I'll come out but I am not wearing that thing you think is a dress, so just drop it"

"Ok deal. We'll compromise" that's good enough for me so I finally reemerge into the bedroom

"Alright, what do you have in mind?" I give her a cautious look

"How about this black dress with these Mary Jane heels?" wow I actually like that

"That just might be perfect, the dress isn't too tight but isn't too loose, and I've always loved those heels, I've just never found an appropriate occasion to wear them"

"Ok, go try them on and then get your butt back out here" knowing better then to argue I do what I'm told, plus we're running out of time; oh my gosh he's going to be here soon, and I'm going to have to get in his car with him and go on a date, of course I knew this when I agreed to go out with him but I think the reality of it is just hitting me and I'm starting to internally freak out.

"Ok, that's it, you're taking forever in there. I'm coming in" so of course she does "oh my gosh Elena, look at you!"

"What?! Is it awful?" I start to panic

"Not at all, you look hot; but look at you, you're freaking out" ok so maybe my freak out wasn't as internal as I thought it was "what's wrong?"

"I don't know I mean, I've been really looking forward to tonight, and I really like this outfit, and I know that we can fix my hair, it's just that in all this I think I kind of forgot about the date itself and I started to panic for a bit"

"Oh 'Lena, you really like him huh?" I nod, and it feels good to admit it to someone even if it wasn't out loud "there's nothing to worry about sweetie, he obviously likes you too since he asked you out, I mean word gets around about Damon and I haven't heard of him doing this before" I don't know why but for some reason Caroline pointing out Damon's nonchalant promiscuity actually makes me feel better

"Thank you Care" I hug her

"Ok, now let's fix this hair" she says and hugs me back

* * *

I hear the door bell ring and suddenly I have butterflies in my stomach and a lump in my throat, I take a deep breath and pace my walk to the door, when I open it all of my nerves melt away and I suddenly feel like a goddess of some sort because Damon Salvatore is stunned

"Um, you look. Wow. You look amazing" even his smirk is a little off

"You ok there, Salvatore?" the opportunity to tease him rarely arises so when it does I have to take full advantage of it

"I'm fine, you ready?"

"Yeah let me just grab my purse" when I return he's still waiting for me at the door with his arm out, just like the night at the party, when we get to his car he even opens the door for me.

"So, where are we going?" I ask once we're both situated

"That's for me to know and for you to dot, dot, dot" he smirks and starts the car

The ride over is filled with idle chit chat and when we're not talking we we're surrounded with comfortable silence. Before I know it we're pulling up to a valet stand and we both get out of the car; I look up and see that we're at a very elite and highly talked about New York restaurant.

The surprise doesn't end there, when we walk into the restaurant we walk right past the hostess booth and into an elevator, when we step out of the elevator we're on the roof top; there are candles and flowers and just few other tables around us, it is breathtaking.

"Damon…"

"Is it too much?" he asks, as we take our seats

"No, it's amazing, how did you even manage this?"

"Well, if I told you where would all the fun be in that?" he smirks

The waiter comes and Damon orders what sounds like a fancy bottle of wine

I'm mesmerized by the view, so thankfully Damon is the first to speak

"So what are you thinking?" he asks

"That this is the most amazing date I've ever been on, and it's barely started" I admit unabashedly

He chuckles "I meant what were you thinking of ordering, but thank you"

"Oh!" I giggle "with a view like this I forgot all about food" I glance back out at the beautiful city, when I look back at him I notice Damon is looking at me intently,

"Yeah, I know exactly what you mean" and with that I turn 3 shades of red "I love it when you blush, it's adorable"

"Yeah well keep saying things like that and it's sure to happen a lot" I can't believe how easily I'm flirting with him.

We order our food, and it's amazing; most delicious meal I've ever had, we finish and head back down and out of the restaurant

"Any requests?" he asks

"You mean the great Damon Salvatore doesn't have some master plan for the night?" I tease

"Oh I've got plans, but a) you probably wouldn't agree to most of them" we wiggles his eyebrows at me suggestively "and b) I thought I'd ask if you have any input since this night is about you" leave it to him to make a dirty joke out of a simple comment

I think about it and then come up with an idea "how about a walk through central park?"

His forehead crinkles "you want to go on a walk? Look at the shoes you're wearing"

I reach into my purse and pull out a pair of flats "rule number one, when you go anywhere in shoes like these, always have a pair of flats on hand"

He breaks out into a fit of laughter and I can't help but join him

"Wise girl; so, walk in the park it is" he holds out his arm to be and we start walking

Then suddenly I feel his had travel down my arm until he reaches my hand, his finger gently touch my palm; everything tingles, and then he intertwines our fingers, never had I known something could feel so sensual and like home at the same time.

We walk through the park hand in hand until we find an empty bench near the water; he offers me his coat before we sit down.

"I've always liked this place, when I first moved here I would come here just to relax and pull my thoughts together"

"What would you think about?" he asks thoughtfully

"Mostly my parents" I try my best to smile, not wanting to bring down the night

"I can tell you miss them a lot" I give him a curious look, wondering how he even knows that they're gone "it's your eyes. They silently say what you don't want to say out loud; anytime your family comes up they turn a darker shade of brown like they're full of hurt" he says answering my unspoken question and oddly it makes me smile. "You're smiling?"

"Yeah, it's just funny because I always thought you were the one with the expressive eyes" I playfully nudge him

"Oh yeah? Then what am I thinking now?" he looks me right in the eye, he's joking at first but the situation quickly turns serious; his eyes shift from my eyes to my mouth and I can't help but do the same. Slowly he leans into me, my head says I should lean in too, but I'm paralyzed.

His lips touch mine and I feel electricity course through me, his hand moves to cup my face and mine moves to the back of his neck, this is heaven, and then its over; just as quick as it was sweet.

"Looks like we were both thinking the same thing" he smirks at me and wraps his arm around me.

We notice that it's getting late so we decide to make our way back to the car, before I know it were back at my apartment. Damon opens my car door for me and walks me to the door.

"I had a really nice time Damon, you beyond exceeded my expectations"

"Anything for you 'Lena" he leans in and kisses my cheek before whispering in my ear "besides, you haven't seen anything yet" and then he just heads back towards his car leaving me stunned for the umpteenth time.

* * *

Looking at my reflection in the mirror and adding some last minute finishing touches, I decide I'm reading to go; I head downstairs to wait for Mason. Mason is a friend of Stefan's, and Caroline thought we would be "just perfect" together; she's been trying to set us up for several weeks but I've been hesitant. Tonight she insisted on having everyone over for dinner, and since she was so persistent that tonight would be the perfect opportunity to meet Mason, I finally agreed. Plus I would be lying if I said the idea of having someone by my side while seeing Damon tonight didn't make me feel better.

Finally my door bell rings, "Hey Mason"

"Hey Elena, you look really nice" he leans in for a hug "I'm glad we finally got to do this"

"Yeah me too, are you ready to go?"

The car is mostly silent on the way to Caroline's, and not the comfortable kind.

I can't help but let out a sigh of relief when we get there. Caroline greets us enthusiastically as usual and walks with us inside "everyone this is Elena and Mason, Elena and Mason this is everyone…"

"Hey" we say in unison

I scan the room, there are a lot of people here that I don't recognize, must be Stefan's friends; which is weird cause we normally don't mix our social groups. Finally I spot Damon and Andie surprisingly he isn't glaring daggers at me like I expected, no it looks like Mason is his target tonight.

"Hey Care, do you need help getting anything ready?" I ask

"No, no, no; you're not hiding in here with me tonight, go out there and talk to Mason" she practically pushes me out of the kitchen

I find Mason sitting on the couch, so I join him "so, what is it that you do? I've seen you around town and Caroline has told me so much about you I'm surprised I don't already know"

"I'm the baseball coach at the high school" he says proudly "what about you?"

"Oh um, I write some little pieces for the Mystic Journal, just what every writer dreams of" I joke sarcastically and he doesn't seem to get it. I notice Damon pouring himself a large glass of bourbon and then pounding it down, oh no. "so what do you do for fun?"

"I really like to do anything with sports, it's pretty much my passion," he says, our conversation stops when someone is clinking a knife against their glass, signaling a speech.

Caroline speaks "Excuse me, if everyone can make their way to the table that would be great" everyone files over to the other room to find their spots, Damon stops to get another glass of bourbon before sitting down next to Andie.

"Thank you so much to everyone for coming tonight, I know this is kind of formal and you're all probably wondering what's going on and I think it's time we fess up" Caroline continues and I see Stefan get up and stand next to her, oh my god, is this really happening. "We have an announcement to make and we wanted all of our friends and family here"

Stefan clears his throat signaling he'd like to finish the announcement "last night, Caroline decided to make me the happiest man in the world by agreeing to marry me" everyone starts cheering for them, I can't help but run to her and pull her into a huge hug

"Oh my god Care! I'm so happy for you" we cling to each other; jump up and down and make all kinds of girly noises "how did you keep this from me all day? That has to be some kind of a record for you!" I tease her

"Oh my gosh it was so hard you have no idea" she says seriously

"Hey little bro, congrats, I'm really happy for you" I see Damon hugging Stefan and patting him on the back

"Thanks Damon, that means so much coming from you, really" Stefan returns his brotherly hug

After dinner everyone moves back into the living for drinks, Mason and I go back to sit down on the couch again

"How long have you lived in Mystic falls?" I ask

"Uh, 3 years, but I used to come stay with my older brother sometimes in the summer as a kid. What about you?"

"Oh well, I actually gre…" I stop midsentence because Damon suddenly plops himself down right in between us

"You know I couldn't help but over hear you guys earlier and I just thought I should clarify that 'Lena hates sports" I love that he used my old nickname and hate that it's only because he's drunk

"That's not true, Damon" I say, annoyed that he's doing this

"Yes it is. Before I knew she hated them I invited her to a sports bar with me and some of my buddies to watch a Yankee Game, she was miserable" he says knowingly

"Well, maybe it's because it was a Yankee game, I'd be miserable too" Mason says trying to lighten the situation

"No, trust me; it's all sports, put on any game and instant Elena misery" he slurs

This has to stop…

"Damon shouldn't you go find Andie?" he just ignores me

"We ended up having sex for the first time that night, so it was totally worth it in the end "

Mason coughs and almost chokes on his drink

"Ok! Damon, that's enough! I'm so sorry Mason, I'll be right back" I grab Damon by the arm and pull him into the hallway

"You know if you wanted to get me alone all you had to do was ask" his smirk is sloppy when he's drunk.

"Ugh, what is wrong with you?! Why would you embarrass me like that! And where the hell is Andie?" I ask frustrated

"Ugh, she left a long time ago, she has work in the morning, all she ever does is work" I know he wouldn't be telling me this if he were sober. I put his arm around my shoulder and help him into Caroline's guest bedroom

"Empty room, empty bed, just like old times huh"

"If you mean all the times I had to find somewhere for you to sleep and sober up, then sure, just like old times" I'm not in the mood for his games

"Come on 'Lena, it wasn't that bad, we had plenty of good times together" he reaches his hand out to touch cheek and I move just in time; I can't let him do this when I know he's just going to regret it when he's sober

"I'm gonna go get you some water, stay here. I'll be back"

Mason stops me on my way back from the kitchen

"Hey I'm not sure what's going on, but I'm ready to leave soon, should I wait for you or…" he look so uncomfortable

"Yeah, I'm ready to go too, let me just bring him this water really quick and then we'll go" I came here with Mason, and it's only fair that I leave with him too.

When I get back to the room Damon is already sleeping, or he's passed out; I'm not sure; I set the water down on the bedside table along with two Tylenol for the morning. I glance down at him; he looks so peaceful and unguarded in his sleep. The way he looked when he was a young carefree college guy. I can't help but reach out and push away the hair that has fallen in his eyes; before I can pull away his hand grabs mine.

"Don't go 'Lena" he intertwines our fingers, "please don't leave me again"

His eyes are still closed so I'm pretty sure he's sleep talking, either way I'm glad I can't see his eyes, because every time he looks at me all I see is hurt, and I hate that I'm the one to cause pain like that. I gently pull my hand away; he doesn't move; he's already asleep again.

I turn and head back to Mason.

* * *

**End Authors Note: Hey Guys, I'm glad I got this out to you before the weekend; it's my longest chapter yet! Please, Please, review, I'm not getting very many, so please review and let me know your thoughts and suggestions, or just to give me little encouragement, because believe me it makes me want to write more, ok everyone, have a good weekend!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Flashback:**

It's been two weeks since my date with Damon and apparently he's avoiding me like the plague, I don't understand it, I thought the night went really well. He hasn't called me and when I saw him on campus he couldn't get away from me fast enough.

Damn him. Damn him for hooking me in with that stupid smirk and his beautiful eyes…

"Miss Gilbert, did you hear me?" my professor brings me back to reality

"Um, no sir; I'm sorry I missed what you said" and damn him for constantly being on my mind and interrupting my classes,

"I said, it's your turn to present next week, is that clear Miss Gilbert"

"Yes sir" I notice everyone in the class is looking at me and I blush

As soon as class ends Stefan finds me and walks with me outside as usual

"What's with you getting called out in class, you never miss anything professor smith says, hell, I think you take the most detailed notes of anyone I've ever met" he laughs at his own joke

"It's Damon…"

"Ugh…" Stefan interrupts me

"Oh, right, he's your brother of course you don't want to hear about this" I apologize

"No, no. It's not that, it's just so typically Damon. Apparently blowing off every other girl on campus isn't enough, now he has to go for my friends too, I'm the one who should be apologizing Elena, I should have warned you, I just didn't want to meddle in your business"

"Don't be silly Stef, I'm a big girl, I can handle it, besides I had heard rumors about him, and I still chose to go out with him, so it's on me" I smile sadly "I'll see you this weekend at the pub for Caroline's birthday though right?"

"Of course, see you then" we hug each other and the go our separate ways

"ELEEEENA!" Caroline shouts, obviously already drunk

* * *

"Happy Birthday Care, What're you drinking"

"A long island iced tea, and boy is it good" she slurs

I laugh "well how about you have a bug glass of water, and then the next one is on me, sound good?"

"Yes! But first you have to get a drink, there's dancing and I know you only like to dance when you're drunk so snap to it" even drunk Caroline is bossy

"Can I get a Tom Collins please?" I ask the bar tender

"A Tom Collins, what are you eighty years old?" I hear the smooth velvety voice that could only belong to Damon Salvatore

"Seriously?" I glare at him and take sip of the drink the bartender just handed me

"Seriously what?" he gives me his best innocent face

I cut straight to the point "Oh come on Damon, you take me on a romantic dinner and act like a perfect gentleman and then I don't hear from you, until now; when you decide to make fun of my drink of choice" I try to walk away but I feel him grab my wrist

"Ok, ok. I knew you would be pissed, but I wanted to talk to you so sue me. And maybe I was waiting for you to call me, did you ever think of that?" he quirks one eyebrow

"Oh please, mister I do what I want, when I want was waiting for me to call… save me the mind games" I pull my wrist from his grasp and walk back to my friends.

"What was that all about?" Caroline asks

"That. Was a big waste of time" I give her a look that says please drop it, and surprisingly she does

Three drinks later and I finally have the confidence to join everyone on the dance floor, Caroline, Rebecca and I are all dancing together and having the time of our lives when I see Rebecca grab Damon and start grinding on him, the sight makes me want to puke.

Rebecca is my friend and my guess is that she doesn't even know about my date with him, or she wouldn't be dancing on him the way she is, when I turn back to dance with Caroline but she's already started dancing with Stefan; and then there was one.

I'm about to leave the dance floor when I feel Tyler dancing behind me, his hand grab my hips, I debate just walking away but when I notice everyone around me is having a blast I decide to just go with and start grinding against him.

"Hey, I think I'm gonna go grab a drink" I tell Tyler after about 4 songs, I'm parched

"Ok, thanks for the dances" he says and makes his way further into the dance floor

"Can I get a bottle of water, please" I ask the bartender

"Throwing in the towel already? I'm a little disappointed" Doman leans against the bar next to me

"Oh come on Damon, don't you have anything better to do then to stalk my ordering habits"

"Like watching you grind against Tyler" he says tight lipped "oddly enough I keep coming back for more, maybe it's our witty banter, or our verbal sparing, if you will. Or maaaaaaybe, it's just your good looks" he smirks at me

"Save it for someone who's still in the dark about your games"

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't call you, but I'm honestly not playing any games " he looks at me seriously

"You know what they say, anything that comes after "but" is just an excuse" I say bitterly

"Who's "they"?! No one says that… did you just make that up" he chuckles teasingly

"Yes they do, people say that, someone says it… I heard it somewhere ok" I'm tripping over my words, not sounding intelligent like I want to, and all he's doing is smirking at me and I realize what he's doing, he's trying to lighten up the tension so I'm not mad anymore "ugh, you're impossible" I playfully shove him

He grabs my hand before I can pull it away from his chest "so we good? You're not mad anymore?"

My expression turns serious "why didn't you call?"

"I wanted to, I just didn't know what to say" he says seriously

"What do you mean, you could've just said hi, I mean I thought the night went really well "

"Can we go outside and talk, it's too loud in here" he grabs my hand and we walk outside

once we're outside he turns to me and I can tell by his expression I'm not going to like what he has to say "The night went great, I had an amazing time with you" he starts, but I interrupt him

"So what was the problem?" he smirks at me and quirks his eyebrow "ha, right; sorry, go ahead and finish"

"The problem, was when I dropped you off; the way you looked at me. Your eyes held a certain admiration for me in them, like you trusted me; and I found myself not wanting to disappoint you, I found myself vowing to never hurt you, and to do everything in my power to never break that trust; but, that's not reality Elena. The reality is that you shouldn't trust me, I will hurt you; it's inevitable. I don't to relationships Elena, I don't do Girlfriends and I definitely don't play the role of the boyfriend, it's just not… me" he shrugs

I don't know what to say, he's rendered me speechless, so I just look at him; my mouth opens a few times to say something but nothing comes out "'Lena… please say something"

"I'm confused, you take me on this incredibly romantic date, you act like a perfect gentleman all night, you kiss me, and then you tell me it was all for nothing, that you were never really pursuing me. God Damon, what do you want me to say; you say you don't play games but what the hell do you call this?"

"I call it honesty, and I was pursuing you, just not the way you thought, 'Lena'…"

"DON'T! Do not call me that" I know it's not rational but I can't hear it right now

He looks at the ground and sighs, when he looks back up at me his eyes are tired and sad "Look I don't want to do this, I wish I could be the guy you want, but I can't, it's not in me, and it would kill me if I hurt you" he looks at me with a resolved expression " because I like you Elena, you're smart, funny, nice, god knows you're beautiful and I like spending time with you, I don't want that to end." He says matter-of-factly

"So what are you suggesting?" I say

"I think we should hang out, I can't be your boyfriend, but that doesn't mean we can't have some fun"

"Are you serous? What are you fifteen? You want to be friends with benefits?"

"Who says friends with benefits anymore? That sounds so juvenile. I said I want to have fun, with you. So, what do you say Gilbert?"

"I say you're crazy"

"Well I can't argue with you there" he smirks at me

He walks closer to me; I take a few steps back until my back hits the wall, he has me pinned. He leans in and his lips touch mine its gentle at first, then I feel his tongue brush my bottom lip; that's all it take for me to respond. My hands go to the back of his neck and his cup my face; we're both fighting for dominance. He's the one to break the kiss, which is good because I almost forgot to breathe. I blush when I realize how heated things got in public.

Damon slowly steps back and brushes a strand of hair away from my face "just think about it, ok? I'll call you, I promise" he turns and walks away.

* * *

It's been quite a week, between meeting some difficult deadlines at work and agreeing to meet Damon for lunch, I think it's safe to say my mind has been on constant overdrive.

Someone knocks on my door; I look up to see Bonnie standing in the doorway

"Hey Bon, What's up?" I ask

"Not much I just wanted to let you know I'm back from lunch"

"Ok, thanks" I go back to my work and realize she's still standing there, "and?"

"annnnd, I wanted to make sure you're ok, you seem like you're in your own little world lately" she looks genuinely concerned

"I'm fine, I promise. I've just had a lot to think about lately, work has been crazy, and Damon moved into town, and now Caroline's engagement, it's just a lot to take in"

"Oh speaking of that, how did the date with Mason go?" she asks

"Awkward would be the understatement of the year"

"Are you sure? Maybe he liked you and he was just nervous" Bonnie always tries to cheer me up

"I haven't heard from him since, so I doubt it. I don't blame him though, I mean if I went on a date with a guy that had as much emotional baggage as me I wouldn't call him either" I stop to think "Maybe Damon was right, maybe someone would have to be crazy to be with a rollercoaster like me" I think, and then I realize I said it out loud

"No, that guy is a jerk. You're smart, funny, and beautiful. Any guy would be lucky to have you"

"You know it's funny, Damon said the same thing once…" I smile sadly "god, I need to pull myself together, I sound pathetic." I laugh "ok Bon I'll be back for lunch" I don't tell her I'm meeting Damon because I don't want her to know that on top of being pathetic I've also turned into a masochist.

I walk into the grill and see Damon sitting in a booth towards the back "I gotta say, I was little shocked when you asked me to meet you here, after all you did say this place was a dump" I joke

"Is that really the only thing that shocked you about me asking you to meet me" he says snidely

My smile immediately falls

He sigh's "look I'm sorry, old habits really do die hard I guess" he tries to lighten the mood

"Let's just get to the point, why did you ask me to meet you here?" I ask

"I wanted to apologize" I interrupt him by pretending to choke on my water "ha ha." He says dryly then continues "I wanted to apologize for the way I acted the other night and for embarrassing you like that" he says genuinely "It was uncalled for"

"Why do you even care? You made it clear that you're trying to make me pay for what I did; so congratulations, you're doing a great job, you wouldn't want to stop now" I say sarcastically

"Elena, I don't want to punish you anymore, it takes too much time and energy out of both of us. And frankly you don't put up much of a fight so it's not very fun" he smirks trying to lighten the situation; "that's why I asked you to meet me here, I wanted to apologize and I hoped we could reach some sort of truce" I don't say anything so he continues "I know that this really only applies to me since you started this whole thing amicably and I lashed out. It may not be easy, but I promise to try my best to be civil"

"Ok" I say

"Ok? That's it?" he looks puzzled

"Well with you the "I'll believe it when I see it" policy is always best" he chuckles "I should probably be heading back to work" I grab my purse and turn to walk away but Damon grabs my wrist to stop me.

"I care Elena, and that's my biggest problem"

* * *

**Authors Note:**

Hey Guys! I hope everyone had a great weekend! and I hope you all liked the last chapter, I'm trying to update regularly. Thank you so so much for all of your reviews, keep it up! Remember reviews are love! Have great week everyone!


	8. Chapter 8

**Flashback: **

"So what are you gonna do?" Caroline asks me

"I don't really know Care, I mean I don't have very many options, he made it perfectly clear that he doesn't do girlfriends and only wants to have fun with me"

"Well, god knows you could use a little fun Elena" she says teasingly

"Yeah, but where does that leave me, because I'm not that girl, I don't know how to just have fun without getting attached"

"You're right, and you know what? That's one of the things I like most about you, when you care about someone you're all in; and if he can't accept that as who you are, then it's his loss, never change for anyone" she says supportively

"I know, but god I want him. He's smart, funny, and of course he has to be freaking beautiful on top of that, and I just plain want him. Ugh! Why does he have to be so damaged… You know maybe this is what I get, maybe this is karma getting back at me for blowing off Elijah the way I did, and I mean at least Damon is being honest about what he wants up front, I just let Elijah make all these plans for us, plans that I knew from day one, I didn't want any part of, and I never said a word"

"That was almost a year ago, and if you knew then, what you know now, you would have handled it differently. All you can do now is learn from your past mistakes and choose where you want to go from here, and if what you really want is Damon, maybe you should go for it, take a risk, have some fun; I know I just agreed that you weren't that girl but how do we know until you try, maybe you're not done becoming the girl you're supposed to be"

"Wow. That was really good; you're getting better at this pep talk stuff every day" I tease" And you know what, you're right. I can't say I'm not that girl, because I've never tried. I'm gonna go for it" I get up and squeeze her, I go to sit back down and notice her staring at me pointedly

"What?" I ask

"Aren't you going to call him?"

"What, right now?" I ask shocked

"uhm, duh"

I walk out of the coffee shop we've been sitting in, pull out my phone and dial his number

"Well Hello Eleeena" I roll my eyes at the way he drags out my name "to what do I owe the pleasure of this phone call"

"I just wanted to see if you might wanna hang out tonight" I ask

"With you?" he asks

"I'm sorry I thought that was obvious" I say sarcastically

"Not with the way you blew me off earlier this week, I thought you made it crystal clear you had no intentions of ever hanging out with me" he answers coolly

"Maybe I changed my mind, I know a really great pizza place that delivers and I just rented a movie and I thought maybe you'd like to join, apparently I was mistaken" making this phone call was hard enough and I was beginning to get annoyed with him for making me spell everything out for him

"Well, I didn't know there was pizza involved in this little get together, I'm definitely in, when should I meet you?"

"My place how does seven sound?"

"Ugh! Blondie's gonna be there?"

"No, Caroline will be out to dinner and a movie with some friends" I say making sure to annunciate her name

"Trying to get me all alone huh Gilbert, you little minx"

"Ugh, goodbye Damon"

"See you at seven" I could practically hear the smirk on his face

* * *

"If you need me to stay out later will you PLEASE text me, I really don't want to come home to you and Damon getting it on in the living room or something"

"Care! That's not going to happen; we really are just hanging out, at least for now"

"Ok, I'm just saying, I don't mind staying out just tell me, because I mean it's really simple, boy likes girl, girl likes boy; se…"

"Oh my gosh! Ok! I'll text you, are you happy now?" I interrupt her

"Extremely" she says on her way out the door with a huge grin on her face.

Twenty minutes later Damon and I are sitting on my couch awkwardly waiting for the pizza to arrive, I mentally curse myself for not ordering it ahead of time so I could use the excuse of having a mouthful of food for the lack of conversation.

"Do you want anything to drink?" I ask

"No thanks I'm still good" he says holding up the glass of iced tea I gave him not even ten minutes ago

"Oh right" I says stupidly

What is going on… on our date we had no problem communicating, in fact the conversation between us had always come almost too easily

"Ok, you need to relax, you look completely freaked out right now, what's going on" he asks

"I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say or do" I say shyly

"We're just hanging out…"

"I know, but this is different then any other hanging out I've even done before I'm not sure how to go about hanging out"

"First, can we please stop saying hanging out, it makes us sound like we're twelve; and second, I'm not gonna jump you like some wild animal. When I said I wanted to spend time with you I didn't mean I just want to fuck you and leave, I really do want just spend time with you, or I guess "hang out" as the kids say these days" he smirks at me

I let out a breath of air I didn't even realize I was holding and I feel the tension lift from my shoulders

"Ok, good" I smile at him "the pizza should be here soon, do you wanna start the movie?"

"That's sounds great"

"I've never met a girl with an appetite like you" he says as I reach for my third piece of pizza, I pause just before grabbing the slice, and decide against it. "no, no, no, I like it, it's nice to see a girl be herself, All girls eat, but they all try to hide it; I like that you don't"

I smile at his compliment and grab the slice of pizza, because I really do want it

"What I wanna know is how you maintain that body of yours" he smirks at me

"I'm a big yogi"

"I'm sorry a big what?" he asks

"Yogi, it's someone who's really into practicing yoga"

"yoga huh?" he wiggles his eyebrows at me

"Yes yoga" I playfully nudge him with my shoulder

Before I know it the credit of the movie are rolling and the night is already coming to an end, I walk him to the door and as soon as we reach it the tension is thick in the room again

"So…" he says

"So?"

"What do you think?" I give him a questioning look, so he continues, "this was a trial run of what it's like to hang out with me right?"

"That obvious?" I blush "It's just, I like you, and I want to spend some time with you; no strings attached" I smile at him

"No strings attached huh" he smirks

"Hey, girls just want to have fun, string less fun" I smile at him

"Ok" he laughs

He leans into me and I don't back down this time, I don't try to escape him, instead I meet him in the middle and our lips touch, they are as soft and as unyielding as ever, I feel his tongue on my lips begging for entrance so I give it to him, our mouths are welded together and our tongues are fighting dominance yet I just can't seem to get enough of him, it feels like a fire has ignited inside of me. Even though I didn't back away from him I still find him pressing my back into the door, he has me trapped. I'm quickly learning this is a trademark move of his. I feel his hand on my hips, his thumbs are rubbing circles on the skin under my top, and I feel like I'm going to combust, thankfully he breaks the kiss before I do.

Once we've regained our composure Damon leans in and presses a kiss to my forehead "I'll call you tomorrow, maybe we can do something this weekend"

"Ok sounds good" I smile at him

"Goodnight 'Lena" and then he's gone

I let myself slide down the door, with a huge smile on my face; oh man, what have I gotten myself into…

* * *

**Present Day:**

After three weeks of planning and listening to Caroline's constant perfectionist nagging, it was finally time for her engagement party, just one of the many parties I'm going to have to plan as maid of honor, because If I know Caroline I know she's going to use her engagement as an excuse to throw as many parties as possible.

"Are you serious Elena?" she comes stomping into the room

"Am I serious about what? I didn't say anything"

"These flower arrangements, they're too tall! The guests won't even be able to see who's sitting across from them, how are they supposed to talk to each other!"

"Well maybe they should just talk to the person next to them, oh I know! How about a good game of telephone" I tease her

Damon comes in laughing at us

"Ugh! It's not funny Damon!" Caroline storms off

"Oh come on, it was a little funny Blondie" he calls after her "God who would have known she would be such a bridezilla"

"She's Caroline, she's a perpetual perfectionist, I would be worried if she didn't act like this" I smile at him

"Yeah, I guess you're right, ok; I'm gonna go see if Stefan needs anymore help setting things up" and with that he walks away

Shortly after our meeting at the grill I started planning this party and have seen quit a bit of him this week, and this is pretty much the extent of our interaction, he's civil like he promised and we even joke around for a bit but it's never more then ten minutes before one of us awkwardly excuses ourselves because of the tension, it's only so long before something boils over.

The guests have started to arrive and I notice Caroline freaking out so I grab her and pull her into the hallway "Care, you need to calm down"

"No, I need to make sure everything is perfect, his Parents are going to be here tonight"

"I know that, I also know that they already love you and I'm sure they're thrilled that you're going to be a part of their family, so calm down, I'll make sure all the food is ready, you just go out there and visit with your guests and enjoy your engagement party"

"Ok" she sighs "thank you"

After all the food is being brought out to the tables I make my way to the backyard, wow Stefan and Damon did a really great job out here, there are lights strung from tree to tree above the tables, that are decorated with beautiful baby yellow table cloths, and ok I'll admit it, Caroline was right, the flower arrangements do look better shorter.

"Eleeeena!" I turn to see Stefan and Damon's mother running towards me

"Mrs. Salvatore! It's so good to see you!" I hug her

"Oh please Elena it's been awhile but I'm still Elizabeth" her smile is so infectious I can't help but smile back

"I see how it is Ma, you say hi to Elena before you say I hi to me, where is your loyalty" he interrupts us

"Oh Damon my son, it's been too long" she hugs him and kisses him on both cheeks

"I know I know"

"Where is this new girl of yours" at the mention of Andie I immediately feel awkward, I see Damon looking at me and he must notice I'm uncomfortable because he changes the subject

"Um, not here, she works late; she'll try and make it though, how about I help you find your seat and say hi to dad on the way"

"Ok sweetie, Elena honey, it's wonderful to see you again" she leans in to kiss me on the cheeks and I do the same

As they walk away I can't help but feel guilty for hoping that Andie doesn't make it tonight.

"Caroline and I would like to thank you all for coming here tonight to celebrate the news of our engagement, it means so much to us that you're all here on this journey with us, we'd like to give a big thank you to Elena Gilbert, Caroline's childhood friend and maid of honor, and to Damon Salvatore my big brother and best man for helping make tonight possible and for always supporting Caroline and I through our journey from friends to life long partners"

"Ok, Stef, gettin a little sappy" Damon interrupts, and surprisingly Stefan just laughs

"Anyways, I hope everyone has a wonderful time, and thank you again for being here"

After Dinner Bonnie, Rebekah, and I have had way too much champagne and we're all telling old embarrassing stories and laughing our heads off when we're suddenly interrupted

"Well, well, well, little Elena Gilbert" I freeze as soon as I recognize the voice

"Mr. Salvatore"

"I see you ran right back to this little town as soon as you could" he says snidely

"This is my home"

"I'm well aware, where are you working these days?"

"I write for the local paper," I say proudly, refusing to let him think he has the upper hand

"Seems fitting"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means a small town job at a small paper for a small town girl, it seems you were not as destined for greatness as my son so wrongly said in the past" I'm shocked, I knew he didn't like me but I didn't think he would do this here, in this setting, I honestly don't know what to say

"What's going on here?" Damon asks, thank goodness he decided to jump in

"Ah, Damon; nice of you to join us; I was just checking in with Ms. Gilbert, seeing what's new in her life"

"Ok, well I think you've found out enough maybe it time you le…"

"You're right Damon I have found out enough, I found out that she's still as pathetic now as she was when you were willing to throw your life away for her, and that thing you thought was your child"

"HOW DARE YOU!" I start but Damon stops me

"No Elena, allow me; How dare you come in here and act all high and mighty towards her, you don't even know her… you never knew her, and never wanted to, even when she was carrying your grandchild. Who are you to criticize my decision to stand by her and be a father to my child when you were the worst father on the fucking planet… Now I strongly suggest you leave. Now. Before things escalate even more and you end up ruining Stefan's party, not that you care you narcissistic bastard" and with that he storms off, and thankfully so does Mr. Salvatore

I look back at all the people sitting at my table that just witnessed this outburst and are now privy to some very personal information that I have shared with very few people in my life, they're all looking at me sympathetically, except Bonne and Rebakah who know I hate sympathy "I'm so sorry about this, will you please excuse me"

I walk towards the house looking for Damon, I find him sitting at the kitchen bar stools

"Hey" I say

"Hey" he responds without looking at me

"Thank you so much for all that, I know you said you would be civil, but that, out there… that was beyond what you promised and I'm so thankful for that"

"Stop Elena… you don't need to thank me, he was attacking our child, that hurts me too you know" hearing him say "our" child has my stomach doing flips

"I know, but it doesn't make me any less grateful" I smile at him

"He was wrong you know; what he said about you, you're not simple, you never have been, and you were destined for greatness, still are. You just need to stop limiting yourself, and go for what you want, that's always been your weak point"

"Go for what I want…" I ponder out loud

"Yes, take a chance, a leap of faith, and maybe fate will supri…"

He doesn't get a chance to finish his sentence because my lips are on his, my hands are on the sides of his face, and I can tell he's shocked because it takes him a moment to respond before he kisses me back, and then he suddenly pulls away

"What're you doing?" he ask breathlessly

"Going for what I want, you're right, I never do; and as long as I'm being honest I've wanted to grab you and kiss you like that since the night I saw you at Stefan's birthday party"

He Places his hand on mine "Elena… I'm flattered, and believe me I understand the attraction that's lingers between us because I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about you like that from time to time, I mean the physical part of our relation ship was never the problem… but I'm with Andie now, and I really do want to give her and I an honest shot. I'm older now and smarter now, I've learned from my mistakes and the way I used to treat women, none of them deserved that, you didn't deserve it, but I was selfish and I didn't care, and I don't want to be that person anymore, so I cant do this again, besides, you were right that night at Stefan's party we are toxic together, you just need to remember that" he smiles at me sadly, looks down at his hand that's covering mine before walking away to join everyone outside.

Authors Note:

Sorry this is late! My friends surprised me with an early birthday trip this last weekend so I didn't have any time for writing. I finished this as soon as possible and I edited it myself to get it out to you as soon as possible, so please excuse any mistakes as usual. Please review; it's what keeps me writing this story. To everyone who already reviews, you guy are amazing please keep it up, I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter!

OH! And a side note… who knows what show the end of my flashback scene is from?! Let me know!


	9. Chapter 9

**Authors** **Note:**

**FYI guys... this is the first chapter deserving of the M rating... =]**

**Flashback**:

"Hello" he answered after a few rings

"Hey, it's Elena"

"What's up 'Lena"

"I uh, well…" oh what the hell "I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to hang out tonight?"

"Sure, I was just about to jump in the shower and then head down to the pub, wanna meet me there in an hour?"

"Yeah that's sounds great I'll start getting ready" I hang up the phone and can't help but smile; I hate how giddy just a phone conversation with him makes me.

I take shower and decide to lightly curl my hair, add some waves to my usual straight brown locks. I don't want to dress up too much since we're just going to the pub, so I decide on a pair of dark blue skinny jeans, white V-neck and a yellow summer scarf.

"Hey care, can I borrow your cute wedges?"I say on my way to the door

"Well, well where are we going little miss "I want to look hot without looking like I'm trying to be hot" " she smirks at me

" To see Damon and, Please, don't make a big deal out of it"

"Oh please that is so not something I'd do" I look at her pointedly " fine, the shoes are in my closet, have a fun time, make good choices!"

"Never!" I shout back on my way out the door

* * *

The pub is surprisingly empty for it being a Friday night. I glance around for Damon; Finally I spot him at a table in the back near a big screen T.V with 5 other guys. I make my way over there

"Heyyy" I say hesitantly

"Hey!" he says enthusiastically and gets up to hug me " I'm glad you could make it! Guy's this is Elena, Elena these are my friends Colin, Finn, Robert, Kol and Jess"

"It's nice to meet you guys" I smile politely

"You too, it's not everyday we get to meet Damon's companions" one of the boys says, I think it's Kol

I blush and look down

"Dick move man" Damon says, he turns to me "You look really nice tonight"

"Thank you" I say sweetly

"Well I'm glad you're here Elena, maybe you'll bring some luck, the Yankee's are getting their asses handed to them by the Giants" Says Robert

"Well, I'm afraid I can't help you there Robert, I happen to be a born and raised Giants fan" I smile proudly

"What?! Get out Gilbert!" Damon says shocked

"No, I actually really hate sports, but my dad was born in San Francisco, so he tried his hardest to pass on his love of the Giants to me, thankfully he had a son too, so he quickly moved on to him. He would probably turn over in his grave if he knew I was sitting in a New York Pub watching a Yankee's game right now" I laugh to myself

"Damon Salvatore, corrupting daughters everywhere since 1987" he teases me

I've tried my hardest to pretend to be having a good time, and thankfully Damon has been so busy socializing with the guys I don't think he's noticed, but I don't think I can take much more baseball

"Hey, I think I'm gonna take off" I tell Damon

"No, Stay; I'm sorry I just haven't seen these guys in awhile, and we always just get a little carried away when we get together, but you have my undivided attention from here on out" he smirks and wiggle his eyebrows at me

"No, it's fine, I actually have a lot of studying to do, and you should stay and catch up, we'll get together some other time" I try and sound genuine but there is a hint off bitterness in my voice that I'm sure he detects, so I hug him quickly and turn to leave before he can comment on it.

* * *

I gave up on studying twenty minutes ago, It seems like I can't focus on anything lately, I'm too wound up, and constantly have Damon on the brain like a hormonal fifteen year old, so instead I settled on watching Breakfast at Tiffany's and eating some Ben and Jerry's.

When I hear a knock on the door; I open it and find Damon standing in the hallway of my apartment complex

"What're you doing here?" I ask

"What… Not happy to see me" he teases

" I'm just… surprised"

"Can I come in?" he asks

"Of course, yeah, I'm sorry" I open the door wider for him "what's up?"

"I just wanted to make sure we're ok. I had a feeling you were upset when you left"

"I wasn't upset"

He looks at me pointedly and raises his eyebrows

"I wasn't upset, I was just a little surprised" I smile at his expression

"About what?" he asks

"It's just… I didn't know tonight was gonna be a group thing"

"So… what? The only time we can see each other is to have sex?"

"No, Damon; Come on, I didn't mean it like that" I sigh frustrated

"Look…I had plans with the guys before you called, so I looked at it like I had two options; I could tell you no, and not see you at all tonight, or invite you to join us and do it the way we did it. So tonight happened to be a group thing, next time it will just be us, ok?"

"Ok"

"Are we good?" he opens his arms to me

"Yeah we're good" I walk into his arms and hug him back

When I feel him kiss the top of my head I look up at him and see him smiling down at me; deciding to take the lead I stand up on my tippy toes and inch my mouth as close to his as I can, fortunately he meets me in the middle and our lips touch

Just like last time it feels like a fire is instantly ignited inside of me, I feel free and alive, something Damon always seems to evoke out of me.

I feel his tongue run across my bottom lip and I willingly give him access

We're fighting for dominance and of course he's winning. I wrap my hands around his neck, and snake my fingers in his hair, god he has such soft hair.

I feel his hands sneak under my shirt and grab my hips; I can't help but let out a whimper, which only seems to make him grip me harder. One of his hands leaves my hips and moves the back of my head to weave through my hair, as if he needs to hold me closer, like he wants to devour me, that thought only makes me hotter.

"Where's Blondie" he asks in between kisses

"Out" is all I can manage to say right now

"Good enough for me" he says and brings his mouth back to mine

I move my hands under his shirt and feel his muscled stomach, I lightly scrape him with my nails, he lets out and animalistic growl, which only turns me on more and gives me the confidence to pull his shirt up over his head; leaving his chest completely bare to me, I bend my head down and press open mouth kisses on his chest and shoulders

"God, Elena" he sighs before pulling my shirt over my head

He wastes no time freeing me from my lacy back bra, he cups one of my breasts in his hand, massaging it. When he bends his head down to capture the other nipple in his mouth I loose it. I let out the most desperate needy cry I've ever heard come from my mouth

"You're perfect," he says before going back to working his miracle mouth on me

I stop him and press a soft kiss to his lips before leading him to my bedroom. He shuts the door behind us and quickly attacks my mouth again as we make our way to my bed.

When I feel the mattress hit the beck of my knees he gently lays me down and hovers over me. He doesn't waste any time riding me of my pants and I do the same to him.

Once we're both completely bare he stops to look at me, I don't think I've ever seen such raw lust and passion in someone's eyes until this moment

"How are you so fucking perfect" he says while rubbing his hands up and down my body like he doesn't want to leave an inch of skin untouched, like he's worshiping me.

I'm flying, I've never felt more beautiful, the way Damon is looking at me and touching me, seems to have forced all of my insecurities to the back burner of my mind

"Damon, I need you," I whimper

I see him lean over and reach into the pocket of his pants to pull out a condom and sheath himself with it

He leans down to kiss me, and positions himself at my entrance, just the feeling of his hard erection pressing against my center has me gasping and he hasn't even entered me yet

"Are you sure?" He asks

"We wouldn't have gotten this far if I wasn't" I smile up at him sweetly

He smiles back and leans down to capture my lips; at that exact moment he sinks into me, fully burying himself inside me, he stills for a second before pulling back out and plunging back into me, he sets a slow steady pace at first but soon starts speeding up.

"Fuck Elena" he pants

I feel the muscles in my legs start tensing and I can tell I'm not going to last long, Damon must notice this too…

"It's ok baby, let go" and with those words I do. I let go and my body feel like its falling from space, its such a intense moment there are no words to describe it.

Before I have a chance to recover from my trip back down to earth he's flipping us over so that I'm on top of him

"Come on baby, finish me off" and just like that, I'm just as turned on as when we started.

I slowly start riding him up and down on him, I feel the tension build inside of me again so I start moving faster and faster, chasing my second release.

"God Damon" I moan

"Perfect, you're so fucking perfect" he groans

I look down at Damon's face, he's writhing in pleasure; that sight alone sends me hurdling over the edge again, only this time, I take him with me.

We lay panting and tangled together

"Oh my god" I say

"It's just Damon sweetheart," he says sarcastically

"ha ha you're so funny…"

"Seriously though that was amazing" he says and leans over to press kiss to my head

After laying in silence for a few minutes, a feeling of dread suddenly hits me, this is the part I've been worrying about… is he going to leave in couple minutes? Do I ask him if he wants to stay? Does that make me sound too needy? How do these things work?...

"So do you have a shower I can use, maybe something I borrow to sleep in" it's as if he can hear my thoughts

I let our a relived sigh, "Yeah the bathroom is right through that door in the hall on the right, and I'm sure I have an oversized t-shirt or something for you to sleep in"

"Elena Gilbert! Are you calling me fat?!" he teases me

"Ugh, just go take your shower" I laugh

As soon as he leaves the room I realize I didn't give him a towel. I grab one from the cupboard; wrap myself in my bed sheet, and head towards the bathroom.

When I walk into the hallway the sight of Damon in only his boxers caught by Stefan and a shirtless Caroline stops me…

"Hello Brother" I hear Damon say

Well this isn't awkward or anything…

* * *

**Present Day:**

"Please please please let me set you up on a date" Caroline begs me while she's trying on wedding dresses

"Believe me when I say that it's best for men everywhere that I stay single for awhile"

"That's ridiculous, you're an amazing person and it's time that someone takes you off the market, besides remember when we were kids we always said we would get married around the same time so our kids could grow up together, you need to get started"

I can't help but frown at her mention of kids, I quickly move past it though not wanting to bring down her day "we said a lot of things when we were kids, most of which never came true, like the fact that no matter how much you may act like a princess, it doesn't mean you actually are one" the curtain to her dressing room open and she steps out, "but you sure as hell look like one… Oh my god, Care! This is the one! This is the dress"

"Are you sure?"

"It's perfect" I guide her over to the mirror so she can see for herself

"Oh my god… I'm getting married…" she smiles ear to ear as she looks at herself in the mirror

* * *

"So why are you so against me setting you up all of the sudden?"

"I've always been against you setting me up; I just went along with it to make you happy"

"So what changed?"

"I really really don't want to relive it" I've replayed the scene between Damon and I at the engagement party so much in my head that the idea of saying it out loud is just plain repulsive

"Ugh, since when do we keep secrets from each other, besides… I already know it has something to do with Damon, I'm not stupid"

"Fine, if I tell you will please not lecture me about how I need to move on, and please don't bring up setting me up with someone again"

"Yes, I promise" she says reluctantly "now, spill"

"This is so embarrassing" I sigh, "I'm sure you heard about what Giuseppe said to me at the..."

"Ugh yes! He's such a jerk, I can't believe he's going to be my father in law…" she stops when she realizes she interrupted me

"sorry…" she says sheepishly

"anyways so he basically started attacking me out of the blue, then Damon jumps in and acts all night in shining armory, and after weeks of him throwing verbal knifes at me, it felt nice to hear him stand up for me and something inside me snapped. He told me that I need to be braver; that I need take more chances, and go after what I want in life, so I did… I kissed him; no scratch that… I practically attacked him. I told him that I had wanted to do it since Stefan's party and that his words were the encouragement I needed"

"And…" she urges me to continue

"And… he told me that he owed it to Andie and himself to give them an honest shot, that he's a new man and that he wants to start acting like it… I'm too late"

"You're not too late. Damon loves you, always has, always will… he's just hardheaded; You know as well as I do that when he says he's going to do something he sticks with it, even when we all know it's going to be a total disaster"

"I just want it to be over for good…"

"Elena, it's not over…"

"You're not getting it Care, I NEED it to be over, because it hurts. Even when we're just trying to be friends, it's too easy to get caught up in everything and think about how things used to be and it hurts, it hurts too much" I'm almost frantic

"Ok, ok; I get it, I just don't want to lose my best friend"

"Why would you think you're gonna lose me?"

"Because I'm marrying Stefan, he's Damon's brother and he's always going to be around, and I just hope that doesn't mean that you wont be…"

"Oh care… I'm not going anywhere. I just need some time to heal and detach"

"Ok, but I still think Damon will come around"

"I know you do, but I can't sit around hoping he does, I have to let it go, I have to let him go"

"I know, I understand"

" Look, I'm getting pretty tired, I think I'm gonna head home and call it a night, I call you when I get there" I get up to hug her

"But I gave you a ride"

"I know but it's not far, and I could use the fresh air"

* * *

It's such a beautiful day out, the kind of day that made my mom insist on having family picnics. She used to pack a nice lunch or dinner and we would all head for local falls, days like these held some of my most fond childhood memories. Ironically a day like today would later claim their lives…

I'm suddenly brought back from my daydreaming by someone running into me, fortunately they catch me before I fall

"I'm so sorry" says a handsome man with blonde hair and brown eyes "I was going on my evening run, and I got caught up in my own thoughts, I didn't even see you"

"It's ok, I was doing to same thing, besides you caught me, so technically you saved me" I smile sweetly, whoa am I flirting with him?

He looks me up and down and I blush "yeah, do you always go running in heels?" he jokes and I can't help but laugh

"Oh no, I meant the being caught up in my own thoughts part"

"I'm Luke, by the way" he extends his hand out

"Elena" I shake his hand

"Pretty name" he smiles and reaches into his pocket "Look, this might sound completely crazy, but I have a nagging feeling that if I don't say this I'll regret it later… Would you maybe wanna get a cup of coffee sometime?"

"Oh Luke, I'm flattered… really, I am… it's just right now… Things are just… It's just that I…" I chuckle at myself "yeah, that pretty explains it all"

He smiles and chuckles at me "ok well if you ever change your mind…" he holds out a business card for me

"Then I know how to get a hold of you" I put the card in my purse

"Maybe we can get together and talk about what's on our minds" he smiles "I mean technically we would be making this neighborhood a safer place, we don't need anymore distracted runner by-stander accidents around here" I laugh

"its was nice to meet you Elena, maybe I'll run into again sometime" he turns and continues on his run

I take his card out of my purse and run my fingers over the front of it and smile "yeah, maybe" I say to myself

* * *

**End Author Note:**

**Hey guys! I'm so so sorry that this is kind of late, it was my birthday last weekend =], I also had a little trouble getting this chapter out, this is my first time EVER writing smut so please let me know what you thought! I also apologize for the lack of D/E in this chapter, there will be lots more next chapter, I promise! Also, No one guessed what show the scene in the last chapter was from… Gilmore Girls! Ok I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, please, please, please review, they really do inspire me. I don't want to be one of those people who demands a certain number of review before they'll update because lets face it… that sucks; but your reviews really do inspire me to keep on writing this story, I also love any suggestions you guys give me, so lets hear it… what do you guys want to see it the next chapter! Sorry for any typos!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Authors Note: Hey Guys! I'm so so so sorry for my lack of updates! I've been insanely busy with work, birthdays, weddings, and baby showers, and it looks like it's only going to get a little crazier before things finally settle down again, I hope you'll forgive me. Anyway, the theme for this Chapter or I guess the "title" of the this chapter is "Fine" because lets face it, how many of us say we're fine without really meaning it! Hope you all like this chapter, and don't forget to let me know what you think. Enjoy!**

**p.s. please forgive any errors! i tried my best to read through and fish them all out!**

* * *

**Flashback**:

"Oh my god!" Caroline bends down and grabs her shirt to try and cover herself with it. Which reminds me of my own lack of clothes

"Oh my god…" I repeat after her and wrap my sheet tighter around myself

Stefan covers his face and exhales a long breath "oh my…"

"…God. Yeah I think we've covered that" Damon interrupts him

"What the hell are you even doing here Damon?"

"Oh now come on Stef, I'm sure you can put two and two together, you're not that dense" he smirks at him

"Seriously Elena… I thought I warned you about him"

"Stefan can we not talk about this right now, please" I beg

"No, no, 'Lena I think I'd like to hear this, what did my darling little brother have to say about me "

"Ugh, can you guys please not do this now, obviously we were all in the middle of something so can we please just talk about this in the morning" Caroline finally speaks up

"Actually Blondie, we were just finishing up, you however were caught red handed" Damon smirks at her

"Ugh, you're so disgusting, come on Stefan lets go" she tugs on his arm

"Actually Care, I think I'm gonna head back to my place, I'll call you in the morning, ok?" he pulls her in for a hug

"Ok… I understand," she says while staring daggers at Damon over Stefan's shoulder

As Stefan turns to the door Caroline makes her way to her room with just a slightly bitter huff

"So… that was interesting" I say

"To say the least…" he smiles "look I don't want you to think I'm blowing you off, but I should probably go after him, sometimes I forget how sensitive things still are between him and I, and I just wanna make sure he's ok"

I can feel my face drop at his words, and I hope he doesn't notice, but of course he does…

"Hey…" he reaches up and cups my cheek "I can practically hear the gears in your head moving. Stops over thinking everything 'Lena"

"Ok" I say, trying not to show that I'm hurt.

I'm a big girl and I agreed to this, it's time to suck it up and act like one

He ducks his head down a bit so he can look me in the eye "are we still good?" he asks

I lean in on my tip toes and press a gentle kiss to his lips

"Yeah, we're good" I smile at him

"Ok, I'll call you" he presses a kiss to my forehead, and head to the door

* * *

"So what do you think about this dress for Tyler's party?" Care asks as she steps out of the dressing room

"I love it, and I think Stefan will too" I smirk at her

"Ugh, you've been spending too much time with Damon." She sighs, "I knew this was coming. Go ahead… give me the Elena speech about how I need to be more careful and all that"

"Ha, I don't think I'm really in the position to be giving anyone speeches about anything" I laugh at myself

"Yeah, what's going on with all that, you still ok with it?" she asks

"I'm having fun, he makes me laugh, and I forget about all the negative bullshit in my life when I'm with him, why wouldn't I be fine"

"I'm just checking. So you really think this dress is the one?"

"Definitely"

After she finished paying for the dress we make our way out the street

"What do you want for lunch?" she asks me

"How about we try that new bakery down the street, I heard they have really good sandwiches"

"Ok, sounds good to me" she turns to walk towards the restaurant but then pauses

"Or…" she turns to face me suddenly "there's a really good pizza places over there" she points in the opposite direction"

"What?" I laugh at her "I thought you said you were done with pizza, that you wanted to start watching your calories, what's going on?" I laugh and look around.

Then I spot Damon sitting at a table in front of a little bistro with a blonde girl, and it hurts like I knife to my heart.

I have to take a deep breath and remind myself that we're not in an exclusive relationship, that he told me from the beginning that he wasn't a one woman man, and that this is exactly what I sign up for.

"Elena, I'm sorry…"

"For what? You didn't do anything" I interrupt her

"I… it's just… I saw him and I didn't want you to be hurt" she gives me her infamous Caroline sad eyes

"I'm fine" I say stoically

"Elena…" she says sympathetically

"I said I'm fine."

* * *

**PRESENT DAY:**

I lay in my bathtub, glass of wine in one hand and Luke's business card in the other, it's been a little over a week since my run in with him and just like every other night this week I sit here debating whether I should call him or not.

I know I told Caroline that I needed to move on and stop pining for Damon but just like most things in life it's easier said than done.

In my mind I want nothing more than to move on and to have Damon be nothing more than a distant memory, but in reality the thought of that actually happening cuts me to my core.

On one hand it would just be coffee with Luke, but on the other hand, what if it started to turn into more, how can I give my heart away to someone else when I still haven't gotten it back.

Sometimes I can't help but think how much easier my life would be if I had never met Damon, how different things would be if I would've just said a quick hello to him and then made my way to class that first day with Stefan, what would've happened if I had decided to give Elijah that second chance instead of taking a chance on Damon. But then I think about the good times we had, and how I am who I am today because of those experiences and I realize I wouldn't trade them for the world.

That's exactly what Damon is to me, he's a memory, and needs to remain one.

With that thought I pick up the phone and dial Luke's number.

"Hello" he answers

"Um, hey. It's Elena" I reply awkwardly "the girl you bumped into the other day" I clarify after he doesn't say anything

"No, Yeah. I remember you, I was just a little shocked for a second" he says "I honestly didn't think you were gonna call"

"Good shocked, I hope," I say flirtatiously

"Definitely a good shock" he flirts back "It would be even better if you were calling to accept my offer to buy you a cup of coffee sometime"

"Well then it's your lucky day, because that just so happens to be the exact reason I'm calling" it's amazing how easy it is to flirt with this man I just met.

"Oh I'm definitely a lucky man" I can hear the smile on his voice "So how does tomorrow afternoon sound?"

"Oh um, well I have work" I say disappointed

"Oh, of course" he must sense the disappointment in voice because he continues "Oh what the hell, what do you say we skip this whole coffee nonsense and I just take you out on the dinner date that I really want to take you on Friday night"

"Straight to dinner huh? I'm, not sure…" I tease him

"Oh come one Elena, don't make me beg" he chuckles

"Dinner sounds great, pick me up at seven?" I'm shocked at how comfortable I am talking to him

"See you then 'Lena" he hangs up

And just like that, I want to curl up into a fetal position and hide, hearing another man call me 'Lena is like someone twisting knife in my stomach, the knife that has been there since everything went wrong.

Instead of giving up and hiding from the world like I want to, I take a deep breath and power through it, I said I wanted to move on and it's finally time to do so.

I'm finally putting my past behind me.

* * *

"I hope this place is ok," Luke asks as we pull up to an Italian restaurant in Richmond

"Are you kidding me, I love this place, I was about to ask you if your were a mind reader" I joke

"So what is it that you do Luke?" I ask after taking our seats

"I'm a pediatrician and Mystic General"

"Oh wow, that's amazing"

"What about you, what do you do?" he asks

"I write for the mystic journal"

"Is that what you always wanted to do?"

"I pretty much knew from the time I was eight that I wanted to be a writer, what I wanted to write has changed over the years, but I'm fine where I am"

"Fine, doesn't exactly scream dreams come true" he states

"Ha, no I guess not, but dreams change. Sometimes they have to"

"You are a mysteriously cryptic person Elena Gilbert," he says

I laugh " what about you did you always want to be a doctor?" I ask

"Well my dad and grandpa are doctors, so they were pretty hopeful from the day I was born, and unlike most kids I didn't hate the path they wanted me to take, and I always knew I wanted to do something with kids, so it seemed like a give in"

"Wow, a doctor who loves kids, and wasn't a rebellious teenager, you really are something aren't you" I tease

"I guess you could say that, "he reaches across the table and puts his hand on mine, and it actually feels nice, I don't want to pull away.

"Thank you, I had a really great night tonight" I say as we reach my front door

"It was my pleasure Elena, I'd love to do it again sometime"

"Yeah that would be nice" I smile

He leans in and presses a soft kiss to my lips

"Have a good rest of the night " he says and then walks back to his car

* * *

After showering and changing into my pajamas I get into bed and look at my phone noticing I have 2 missed calls from Damon when I hear someone knocking on my door, I don't get a good feeling about this.

"Ugh, Damon. What are you doing here?" I asked annoyed

"I can't believe you went on a date without telling anyone the guys name! Nobody knew who you were with or where you were… do you have any idea how dangerous that is! That's the beginning of every 48 hours special!"

"Are you kidding me right now?! This has nothing to do with you!" I'm fuming

"Are you fucking serious! You could have been raped or killed…:

"Again. This has nothing to do with you" I interrupt him

"Oh don't do that, don't you fucking do that!"

"Do what? What! Damon, what do you want!"

"Don't act like I don't care about you" he stops shouting

"NO! NO! You don't get to come here at eleven o'clock at night and tell me you care about me, that's not fair. You want to treat Andie right and give your relationship a shot… then don't come here. Don't show up at your ex-girlfriends house acting like a jealous boyfriend. Jesus Damon where does she even think you are?!"

"She's out of town"

I laugh humorlessly

"I'm sorry you're lonely Damon, but that doesn't mean you can waltz in here and tear apart my world because you think you have right to"

"I'm not lonely…" he says

"Then why are you here? You don't want me Damon, you made that perfectly clear a few weeks ago, so let me move on with someone who does… unless you have something else to tell me" I look at him accusingly, and damn me for giving him another chance to say he wants me, I'm so fucking pathetic

"I'm here because I was worried," he says simply

"Well I'm fine. Besides, I'm not yours to worry about anymore" I say bitterly

"Elena, don't…"

"please leave…" I don't let him finish

"'Lena…"

I cringe

"Leave"

So much for my nice night.

**End A/N: remember… Review, review, review!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Authors note:**

**Hey guys! I'm back already! And with my longest chapter yet! I couldn't help it after all of your amazing reviews! You're all so inspiring! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, and I promise this isn't a vampire diaries/ Gilmore girls crossover story, it's just that a lot of the emotion I want to capture was inspired by some reruns I've been watching but I promise this will continue to branch out into a story of its own. Ok everyone read and enjoy! P.S. I hope all you mothers out there had a good Mother's Day!**

**Flashback**:

"Hey Elena" I hear someone say as they approach the table I've been studying at in the library

"Um, hey Robert" I know he's one of Damon's friends from the pub that night, I just hope I got the name right

"You remember. Good"

"I never forget a name once I've put a face to it" I joke and smile at him

"Well that definitely makes this a lot easier. Do you know Tyler Lockwood?" he asks

"Yeah, we actually grew up together" Curious where he's going with this

"So you've probably heard about his party" I nod "well I was wondering if you'd like to go with me?"

"Oh… Go with you. Like a date?" I ask

"That was the plan…"

"Um, well I don't want to cause any trouble between you and Damon…"

"I don't think it will be a big deal, besides he's taking some girl named Jessica; if you don't want to go that's fine… I kind of feel like I'm putting you on spot here…" he pauses and I frown at his words, and can't help but wonder if Jessica is the girl from the bistro the other day

"No, No Robert, I'd love to go with you" I smile at him

"Ok good, pick you up tomorrow?" he smiles back

"Yeah; I live in the Bradford apartments, just off campus"

"9:30 good?" he asks

"Perfect "

* * *

"I can't believe you, you've practically been a nun since you broke up with Elijah and now…"

"I have not been a nun" I interrupted her

"You were this close to joining the convent" she hold her thumb and for finger out to show me "and now you're having sex with Damon Salvatore and, going on a date with his friend, Elena Gilbert… you little hussy" she turns and smirks at me

"Could you possibly make me sound anymore like a slut… Jeez Care; and I'm not having sex with Damon, we had sex, once. And I haven't even heard from him since, and as far as Robert goes, he asked me to go to a party with him. That's all. Besides, isn't this what you wanted? For me to let loose and to not over think everything…"

"Whoa calm down, I wasn't trying to put you down or anything, I'm actually a little jealous of your new found spontaneity, I'm just still a little worried about you"

"Well stop… Please. Ever since my parents died all anyone has done is worry about me, and I'm sick of it. I'm I big girl Care, and I know you mean well, but I chose this, so please… stop worrying" I look at her seriously

"Ok" she says, but I raise my eyebrows at her pointedly "I said ok. I won't bother you about it anymore. You said you're fine and I need to believe you" she smiles "Will you just promise me one thing?" she asks me and I nod "If at any point you're not fine anymore will you promise to come to me?"

"Of course" I say

"And in return, I promise there won't be any lectures or I-told-you-so's on my behalf, ok" she smiles at me and opens her arms out for me

"Ok" I laugh and hug her

* * *

By the time Robert and I get to the pub where the party is, it's packed

"So do you have any Siblings?" I ask as we sit down at a table

"Yes, two sisters"

"Oh that's nice" I smile "Are you close to your family?"

"Actually, I can't stand my family." he says seriously

"Oh, um, I'm sorry" I say awkwardly

"But unfortunately for me my trust find doesn't kick in until I'm 25 so it looks like I'll have to stick around them for a few more years" I can tell he thinks this statement is funny, but given my situation I'm appalled that someone can take their parents for granted like that.

Just get through this night I keep telling myself

"That's too bad" I say

"My entire goal in life is to suck up to my father so that I receive to majority of their inheritance, leave nothing to my sisters and go on to live the frivolous free lifestyle I want, and leave nothing for the rest of the family" he continues

"That's your entire goal in life?" I ask astonished

"Yep" I hope he's joking

"Well that's… something" I'm speechless

"I'm gonna go grab a drink, you want anything?"

"Um, sure" anything to get away from you for a minute, I think to myself

"Anything specific?" he asks

"A Tom Collins please"

I spot Caroline dancing on the other side of the room with Stefan so I wave to her

"Hey 'Lena, you having a good time?" Damon says as he approaches from behind me

"I am, thanks" I nod, not wanting him to know I'm miserable

"Good, that's good. Me too, I'm having a good time too" I can tell he's drunk because he's slightly slurring his words

"Good" I nod and can't help but giggle to myself a little

"Yes, it is good" he takes a big gulp of his drink "So, I didn't know you knew Robert?"

"I met him at the pub that day" I remind him

"ohhhh right; Right. Well, you must've made quite an impression on him"

"He just asked me to come to this party, that's all" I shrug

"Sure" he slurs and takes another drink "he's kind of a jerk" he states obviously

"Excuse me" I act offended even though he's right, he is a jerk

"Robert… He's kind of a jerk. Haven't you noticed he's kind of a jerk?" he smirks

I just purse my lips, and shake my head, and pretend like I have no idea what he's talking about, and he seems to buy it.

"Huh" he tilts his head at me and then gulps down the rest of his drink "The night's still young," he grabs my arm and pulls me into a dark corner of the room "come on"

"Damon, wait…" I start to protest

"You look great tonight" he interrupts me and pulls me flush against his body

"Well, thank y…" he silences me with a kiss

I start to kiss him back, but thankfully I snap back to reality and break the kiss

"Damon… stop" I say when he tries to kiss me again, I glance around the room to make sure no one is watching us

"Right, so how've you been?" he asks.

"I've been fine"

"Good. School's good?"

"Schools hard" I sigh in annoyance, I'm starting to get tired of his games

"Well, it's supposed to be hard, it's grooming you for life" he shrugs and leans in to kiss me again and I give in, I can't help but kiss him back

"We can't do this here" I rationalize when we finally break apart

"You're right. Let's go" he reaches for my hand and tires to lead me away but I stand my ground

"Go where?" I laugh humorlessly

"You're place, my place; let's get a room at the Plaza…"

"We can't just leave, we have dates, we came here with other people" I interrupt him

He starts to chuckle…

"I don't like this" he waves his hand between him and I

"Like what…"

"You here with Robert…" he says

"You're here with Jessica!" I start to raise my voice a bit, I'm quickly moving from annoyed to angry

"I know" he raises his voice too, so I lower mine before we cause a scene

"So what's the problem?"

"The problem is you're here with Robert, and it's bothering me, and I don't like that it's bothering me" he throws his hands up like he's surrendering

"Sorry… Do you want us to leave?" I ask confused

"nooo" I shakes his head "I want us to leave, you and me" he grabs my shoulders

"I can't do that" I shake him off

"Oh so you wanna spend the rest of the night with Robert instead of me?" he looks genuinely offended

"I came here with Robert" I say apologetically

"So dump Robert, I hate Robert" he says simply

"You're the one who said you wanted to be able to keep seeing other people" I say confused

"I know what I said ok; I don't need a play by play" he huffs out, clearly frustrated

"Ok, I have to go, I have a date, enjoy the rest of the party"

I leave him alone in the corner

* * *

**Present Day:**

"Are you sure you're ok with coming with me tonight?" I ask in the car on our way to Caroline's house for our Pre- Thanksgiving dinner, a tradition of ours since our first holiday season away from home, with my parents gone and Caroline's parents divorced and constantly working, we decided we might as well celebrate on our own and have a drama free holiday, before we went home for the holidays.

At least that's how it started but with Stefan, Damon, Andie, and Luke thrown in the mix it may not be so drama free anymore, but I'll try my damnedest to keep it that way for Caroline's sake, she prepares for this event all week.

"Yes, for the hundredth time, I'm more than happy to come with you because I really do want to meet your friends" he grabs my hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze

"Ok, I just want to make sure you don't feel like I'm forcing you into this, or like we're moving too fast" I smile at him

"I think we're moving just fine" he says as he laces our fingers together and brings my hand to his lips

"Good, me too" I smile and blush

"Wow she really goes all out doesn't she" Luke says as we pull up to Caroline's house and he notices the front yard decorated to the nines in fall décor

"Oh yeah, Believe me, once you meet her it'll all make sense, and just wait till you see how she does Christmas" I blush as I realize I basically just committed to a Christmas with him, what if he's not interested

"Christmas huh?" he glances at me "sounds good" he bends down to kiss me

At that precise moment the door opens and Damon steps out, holding a ringing cell phone in his hand, and freezes like a deer in headlights

"I uh…" he glances in between us, then down at his persistently ringing phone "my phone, um, my phone was ringing and was just stepping out to uh…"

"Answer it" I finish for him

"Uh yeah" he nods "business never sleeps. Not even on Thanksgiving apparently" he shrugs

"Well by all means don't let us get in your way" I grab Luke's hand and walk him into the house. Leaving Damon on the porch

"Was that the ex?" Luke asks as we hang our coats on the coat rack

"Yeah that was Damon; please don't let him get to you, ok?"

"He seemed fine; you however sounded a bit hostile"

"I have to sound that way… trust me, the moment you let your guard down with Damon, is the moment he'll strike"

"Elena!" Caroline runs over and hugs me, effectively ending our Damon conversation for which I am extremely grateful for

"Hey Care, this is Luke. Luke this is my best friend Caroline" I introduce them

"It's so nice to finally meet you Caroline, I've heard so much about you" Luke holds his hand out for her to shake

"Oh silly we don't shake hands around here" she pulls him in for a big Caroline hug "I've heard so much about you too, It's about time Elena brought you to meet everyone, I can finally put a face to your name" she smiles at him

"Likewise, and thank you so much for inviting me to your home to celebrate the holidays with you guys, it's very gracious of you" man he's good, I think to myself

"Oh please! The more the merrier! Listen I'm gonna go check on things in the kitchen. Everyone else is in the living room, why don't you guys go in and make yourself at home"

"Wow, look at you mister smooth" I tease him and grab his hand to lead him to the living room

"What too much?" he laughs

"No not at all, you were quite the charmer; I think you've won her over already" I laugh

When we get to the living room I scream

"Oh my gosh! Jeremy! When did you get back from New York? You weren't supposed to get here until next week!" I grab him a for a big bear hug

"I got some extra time off work and I wanted to surprise you, so I came in late last night and asked Caroline if I could crash here"

"Man, she is getting way too good at keeping secrets! First the engagement and now this! Ugh! I missed you so much!" I pull him in for another hug, when I hear Luke clear his throat

"Oh gosh I'm sorry! Luke this is my brother Jeremy. Jeremy this is Luke, my, uh, my friend" I say

"Nice to meet you man" Jeremy moves to hug him, and I'm glad no one decided to comment on that awkwardness

"You too" Luke replies

"And this is Stefan, Bonnie, and Andie" I tell Luke "Everyone, this is Luke" they all get up to say hi and greet each other

* * *

"Hey, will you be ok if I go check on Caroline, to see if she needs any help in the kitchen" I whisper in Luke's ear

"Of course, I'll be fine" he whispers back "besides it'll give me a chance to ask Jeremy to tell me some embarrassing stories about you while you're gone" he says loud enough for everyone to hear

"Don't you dare!" I point my finger at him and he grabs it and pulls me in for a kiss

"Hey are you ok?" I hear Andie ask Damon on my way to the kitchen, when I glance over my shoulder Damon is standing at the drink cart; I don't stop to hear his answer.

"Hey do you need any help in here?" I ask Caroline

"Actually yes can you help make the Salad? The tomatoes and everything are over there" she points to a basket on the counter

"Sure" I grab everything and start chopping

"So, Luke seems nice" she says

"He is, he's really kind, compassionate and sweet" I say

"And you're ok with that?" She asks

"Yeah, I'm not freaking out like usual, and he understands that I need to move slow, that I'm damaged goods, and want to take my time getting to know each other" I laugh

"Well if you're happy, I'm happy. I'm gonna start taking all this stuff to the table" she grabs some stuff and leaves the kitchen

When I hear footsteps I turn to see who it is, when I realize its Damon I sigh

"Cool your jets turbo" he says sarcastically "I'm just getting some ice for my drink"

"Well get it and go" I say bitterly

"Still mad at me?" he asks

"The last time I saw you, you barged into my house late at night and tried to tell me how to live my life… what do you think?" I huff

"I told you, I was just worried. It won't happen again" I know he said it to make me feel better but it doesn't

"Oh what a relief" I say sarcastically

"I can't win with you can I? Damned if you do, damned if you don't; isn't that how the saying goes?

"I'm sorry, I'm just on edge" I admit

"About what?" he shrugs

"Luke's in there…" I say like it's obvious

"And…"

"And that's the guy I'm seeing"

"So… Andie's in there too" he says it like it's so simple

"Are we really doing this?"

"Doing what?" he asks

"Being civil, acting like we're just two old friends, you're not gonna be mean to him, or tell him about our sex life if you happen to get him alone…" I look at him pointedly

"Ugh! That was before I apologized to you and I told you wouldn't do that to you again, and as far as I'm concerned, it won't take much acting, we are old friends, sure there was some sex thrown in the mix but you were my best friend before everything went down, you know that" he looks at me sincerely and I blush

"Ok fine, but the only way I'll trust you is if you start limiting your alcohol intake for the rest of night" I point at him

"Oh now that's not fair! You know I need this just to get through an evening with Blondie let alone one of her most beloved holidays!" he whines

"It's not my fault you can't control yourself when you're drinking" I tease

"That's a lie and you know it, if there's one thing I've always been good at, it's holding my liquor"

"Oh yeah" I raise my eyebrows at him "remember back in college at Tyler's party, you were so drunk you tried to convince me to leave the party with you, and leave Robert alone" I laugh

"Ugh Robert, I still hate that guy" he laugh

"Ugh Jessica, I still hate her" I say

"Yeah well I hear she's a stripper now, so it looks like you came out on top" he jokes "and if we're being honest I wasn't even that drunk that night, I just really wanted to get you alone again" he wiggles his eyebrows at me

Of course my blush immediately surfaces and betrays me

"Your still just a beautiful when you blush as the night on that rooftop" he says and moves a strand of hair behind my ear

I clear my throat

"How about we start moving all this food onto the table" I say

"Yeah" he smiles at me "sounds good to me"

We both grab a plate and head for the table, I notice that I'm smiling to myself and I can't seem to help it, because something inside of me healed in that kitchen just now.

I guess we all have something to be thankful for.

**End A/N: Review, review. Come on… you know you want to = ] **


	12. Chapter 12

**Authors Note:**

Hey Guys! I'm not completely happy with this chapter, I had it completed but for some reason it didn't save and I can't seem to get it back to what it was, I've gone over and over it and cant seem to figure out what I'm missing… Anyways, I hope you like it, don't forget to tell me what you think! Happy weekend!

* * *

**Flashback: **

"Ok, yeah. I'll see you then" I say before hanging up my phone

"Damon?" Caroline asks

"Yeah; he's picking me up for dinner later"

"No more Robert?"

"There never really was a Robert, he just asked me to that party, and I said yes. There's really nothing more to it" I say

"No? So you didn't say yes, thinking it might be to your advantage?"

"I didn't go to the party with Robert to make Damon jealous if that's what you're suggesting" I shrug

She raises her eyebrows at me, as if she suspects there's more

"I didn't! The fact that Damon did get jealous is just an added benefit, but that honestly wasn't my intention" I laugh

"Ok" she says skeptically "So how are things with _him?_"

"Try and hide your disdain for him a little more will you" I say sarcastically "you're like two steps away from calling him he who shall not be named" I laugh "and things are good, things are great actually, he's called me every day since the party, and we're going out tonight. Turns out maybe a little jealousy was just what we needed" I smile

"That is so dysfunctional on so many levels" She shakes her head

"Cause you're the poster child for healthy relationships, right?" I say sarcastically before covering my mouth, realizing what I said

"Hey! That's not fair!" she retaliates

"That was uncalled for" I say

She doesn't say anything

"I'm so sorry" I plead

Still nothing

"Please forgive me Care… I'll even let you pick out my outfit for tonight. That's how sorry I am" I smile

"Ok! But you can't complain! I hold the fashion reigns tonight!" she grabs my wrist and pulls me into my room.

Oh no. This should be interesting.

* * *

"You look stunning, if it isn't obvious" he smirks and reaches over to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear

"Thank you" I smirk and blush "and you look very handsome tonight" I reach over to touch the collar of his button down shirt

"Handsome… No. Devilishly sexy… yes, panty droppingly gorgeous… fine; but handsome…no." he smirks

"Watch it, or we might need to get a separate table just for your ego" I laugh

"That's one of my favorite sounds in the world" he touches my cheek and leans in to kiss me

"Damon… don't" I whisper

"Don't kiss you? But we're on a date" he smirks

"No, don't says things like that" I smile sadly

"But they're true"

"I'm sure they are but…"

"Listen Elena…" he interrupts "We have so many things to worry about in life, everyone does. And I've learned that saying what you think shouldn't be one of them. So when I feel something or think something I say it… because, I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things... So, here goes… I love the sound of your laugh. I love your hair. I love the way your eyes tell a different story every time I look in them. I love that you're kind to everyone you meet, and I love that you trust me. It used to scare the shit out of me, but I absolutely adore you for it now" he smirks

"I don't know what to say" and it's true

"Say what you feel" he brushes his fingers across my cheek

"I feel like I wish you wouldn't have said any of that"

His smile falls, so I continue, hoping to not hurt him

"You're a great guy Damon. So great that when I met you I couldn't fathom how you were still single…" He grimaces "we have our agreement and it seems to be working fine for us, but I have to keep a semblance of space between us, a sort of wall around my heart. You can't say things like that because with every word that wall falls down a little more; and that's not fair to do to me. Especially since I'm trying so hard to make our arrangement work" I smile sadly

"Screw the space" he says suddenly

"Excuse me?"

"Screw the space. I hate space; in fact, I want so little space between you and me it's ridiculous"

"Damon don't…" I shake my head

"I know I said that I didn't want a relationship and that I wasn't boyfriend material, but that was before…" he has that adorable wrinkle in the middle of his forehead when he gets frustrated

"Before what?" I reach out to smooth the wrinkle with my thumb

"Before I couldn't stop thinking about you" he says softly and reaches up for my hand, entwines our finger and brings our hands down to his chest, I think my heart actually stops for a second "you plague my every thought lately… and I know I said that I wanted to be able to see other people, but that just doesn't work for me anymore. I don't see anyone but you. Hell, I don't even realize when a woman is hitting on me anymore, simply because they aren't you. I feel like it would be a huge mistake if we didn't at least try.

"Damon… You can't be my boyfriend"

"Why not?" he frowns

"Because you told me you couldn't be my boyfriend, and now all of the sudden…"

"Please. Just give me a chance" he interrupts, the look on his face is so desperate it's heart breaking

"That's what you said last time you wanted me to agree to something" I sigh

"See! And that turned out to work ok, look at us now" he smirks

"Ok" I say simply

"Ok? That's it? I thought I was gonna have to spend days trying to convince you Gilbert" he smirks

"Well… you have a point, why worry about doing and saying the things we want… and besides, as fun as that picture is, I think I would rather have you all to myself starting now" I smirk back

"Mmm, I like the sound of that" he says, before leaning in to capture my lips with his, when I feel his tongue brush against mine I willingly give him the access he wants, our tongues sweep against each other and I lace my fingers in his hair and let out a soft moan, completely forgetting that we're in a restaurant surrounded by other people until he breaks the kiss

"See how good this is going so far. I think I'm gonna be an excellent boyfriend"

And for the first time since I've met him, there is no smirk, or cocky grin on his face; instead Damon Salvatore is smiling ear to ear. Maybe this won't be so bad after all.

* * *

**PRESENT DAY:**

"Merry Christmas" I say sleepily as I roll over and place a kiss on Luke's cheek

"Mmm" he groans "Merry Christmas to you too Princess. Hey where are you going" he says when he rolls over and sees me tying my robe around my waist

"Downstairs, I'm going to go make my special Christmas pancakes" I smile

"Oh"

"Is something wrong?" I ask

"No, I just thought maybe I could take you to breakfast, there's a cute little café I've been wanting to take you to and they have a special Christmas menu with peppermint coffee, it seemed just like the sort of thing you would love" he shrugs

"Oh, um well that's really sweet of you to think of and everything, but… I mean these pancakes are sort of a tradition." I say, hoping to let him down gently

"Yeah but I mean everything is a tradition with you. Hell you and Caroline have traditions when your just sitting down to watch a movie"

I'm surprised at the coldness in his voice and he must see in on my face

"Look I'm sorry Elena it just seems like you have a tradition with everyone but me, and I thought maybe this could be ours" he smiles sadly

"I know, and that's really sweet, and I promise that we'll have our own thing someday soon, it's just that this is something my dad used to do with Jeremy and I every Christmas morning growing up, and it's just not something I'm willing to let go of" I shrug

"Did you make these pancakes for him too?" he says curtly

"Who? Damon? What does that have to do with anything?" I ask in disbelief

"Nothing… Look, I'm sorry" he sighs, "it's just that he seems to be involved in everything… I get that you have a past with him, and normally I'm ok with it, but it's just not something I want to deal with on Christmas… I mean I'm already going to have to see him tonight and I just wanted this morning to be about us" he sounds defeated

"So no pancakes?" I ask

"No, no… You make your pancakes, I'm gonna go to that little café, maybe it'll be good for us to regroup" he smiles at me sadly before walking towards my bathroom to take a shower

While Luke is in the shower I have a chance to think things through from his point of view, and he has a point.

I wouldn't want to have to see his ex-girlfriend every time we went to his friend's house, and on every holiday.

He's been incredibly patient with me, and he's always understanding. The least I can do is go to breakfast where he wants to go. I'm an adult now, its time for me to make my own traditions.

I hurry and rinse off in the extra bathroom and get dressed just in time to catch him before he leaves.

"Hey, I thought about what you said and you're right, we've been dating for awhile now and you put up with all of my baggage and it's time that we make memories of our own. Just you and I "

"Are you sure? I know how important this tradition is to you, I shouldn't have put you in a position where needed to choose between the two. Its just that I can see how hurt you've been in the past and when I think of him hurting you it makes me crazy" he admits

"He didn't hurt me, its bigger then that. I'll tell you eventually, just please don't worry about it. I'm happy, you make me happy" I smile and lean on my tip toes to press a kiss to his lips "So… how about that breakfast?"

BREAK

"Merry Christmas!" Caroline yells as she comes running over to Luke and I

"Merry Christmas Care" I hug her

"Merry Christmas Caroline, your home is absolutely beautiful, so festive it looks like it came right out of a Christmas catalog. Though I would except nothing less from you" he says after hugging her

"Oh my gosh you are such a charmer" she gently nudges his shoulder "You're lucky I'm engaged Elena" she jokes

"You wouldn't dare even when you were single," I laugh

"Where should we put the gifts?" Luke asks

"Under the tree" she points in the direction of the living room

"Hey guys," I say to everyone as we walk into the living room

"Merry Christmas everyone" Luke adds

"Merry Christmas" they all say in unison

" So what has everyone spent their Christmas morning and afternoon doing?" Luke asks, trying to make friendly small talk

"Uh Caroline and I had breakfast with her mom, and lunch with her dad. It's been a busy morning" Stefan answers " What about you guys?"

"Oh uh…" I start

"Let me guess… Gilbert family Christmas pancakes" Damon interrupts as him and Andie enter the living room

"Um no, actually, we went to this little café just out town" I finish without looking at Luke, afraid of what I might see

"Really? Well… I'll be damned… Elena breaks a tradition " he teases me and makes his way to the drink cart to pour himself some bourbon

"No… just time for some new ones," I say simply, not meaning for it to sounds cruel in any way

"That's what I'm always telling Damon… Change is good" Andie pipes in

"That's always been my motto" Luke adds, "What have you guys been up to?"

"We went to Andie's parents and did the whole gift exchange thing" he takes a big gulp from his glass " it was a hoot" he smirks

Luke doesn't comment, he doesn't seem to like sarcasm… something about it being "the lowest form of intelligence"

"Oh Damon, you enjoyed it and you know it" Andie nudges him

"Yes… I always love some good political talk with your dad…"

"Ok guys! Dinner is ready!" Caroline announces, and I'm glad we don't have to keep up with anymore small talk, at least when there's food you have an excuse not to say anything

"Is she always this enthusiastic?" Luke asks

"Always" I laugh

"Hey, you're lucky she's just the girlfriends best friend and not your sister in-law… I've had her as both… you wanna talk annoying…" Damon jokes

"Damon… " I give him a warning look

"What? Just letting him know what he has to look forward to" he shrugs and smirks

"Well somehow I don't think I'll have to worry about her being my sister-in-law" Luke says coldly

"Yeah well… guess you got me there" he claps Luke on the shoulder and makes his way to the table

I hear Luke let out a sigh

"Hey, don't get all worked up" I say and rub his back

"I just don't like that guy, and its not just because he's your ex, he just has a bad attitude and acts like he's gods gift to the world"

"Yeah well that's Damon, there's nothing anyone can do about it"

"Yeah sure" he says curtly and walks to the table

* * *

"Ahhhhhhhh! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Caroline screeches and throws her arms around my shoulders " how did you know I wanted this!" she asks while holding up the purple halter dress I got her for Christmas

"Well, you only told me that you loved it 5 times while we were shopping, and then the picture you texted me of it saying how beautiful you still thought it was gave me a hint" I laugh

"Well I love it, and it is beautiful! Thank you Elena" she moves to put it back in to box "Oh! And Luke! Thank you Luke," she adds

"Oh it was all Elena" he smiles

"Ok who's next?" Caroline asks

"I'll go" Damon says, standing up and moving to grab a box from under the tree "Here you go little bro"

"Awe thanks Damon" Stefan opens the box and holds up a tub of hair pomade "Hair products… really Damon?"

"Hey the girl at the store said it was really good stuff, and that it was great for achieving the perfect hero- hairdo" he smirks

"Really Damon you cant stop teasing him for one day" Caroline adds

"Hey, hey… calm down there're more"

"Oh my god" Stefan says when he looks back into the box "where did you find this?!" he asks and holds up a very old, first edition of The Great Gatsby

"I have my ways" Damon shrugs

After everyone has opened their gifts I head into the kitchen to get some water, just as I'm about to make my way back to everyone I hear some commotion

"Excuse me?" Damon says

"I said you're unbelievable" Luke stands up

"Oh yeah, and why is that" Damon squares his shoulders

"Because you follow her like a puppy… anytime we're at one of these gatherings the moment she leaves the room you go after her. " Luke says

"Oh please" Damon scoffs

"You might wait a minute or two, but you cant wait to follow her and get her alone"

"You're delusional" Damon responds

"Yeah… apparently I am…apparently Andie and I are the most delusional people in the world"

"Excuse me?!" Andie speaks up

"Hey guys stop…" I finally find my voice

"No Elena!" Luke snaps

"Watch it" Damon says with a menacing look on his face

"It's about time I acknowledge what's right in front of my face, I've tried to ignore it… I told myself you just needed some time… but it's so blatantly obvious that it's more then that… You're not over him, and I can't just ignore it anymore " he shakes his head and turns towards the door

"Luke stop" I grab his arm, but he shakes me off "Please…"

"Please what Elena? "

"Just please don't do this. Not here… lets go somewhere and talk," I plead

"About what? Because unless it's to tell me that everything I just said is wrong, I really don't want to hear it…"

He looks like at me as if he's waiting for me to tell him what he wants to hear, and deep down I want to, but my moth just cant seem to let the words out

"Do you want me or not" he says sternly

After a long pause my mouth finally opens

"I don't know what I want…" I whisper, almost to myself but the look on his face tells me that he heard me perfectly

"That's what I thought" and with that he walks out the door leaving me completely stunned..

It's Andie's voice that draws me back into the present

"Damon can I please talk to you outside for a moment" she says sternly

Damon doesn't reply, he simply follows her outside

I feel Caroline's hand on my shoulder "Hey, you ok?" she asks softly

I just shake my head, afraid of how my voice might sound

Instead of pushing it she simply wraps her arms around me, and leads me back in to the living room.

Shortly after Damon comes walking into the house, alone.

"Where's Andie?" Stefan asks

"She uh, she headed home. Said she wanted some time to think" Damon smiles sadly

I immediately feel guilty "I'm so sorry, Damon" I say shakily

He moves towards the coach to sit next to me "Hey, don't worry about it, that guy was a jerk, breaking up with you like that… in front of everyone. The guys a jerk" he places his hand on my shoulder

Out of the corner of my eye I see Caroline usher Stefan out of the room, leaving us alone…

"Yeah well, I probably should have seen it coming" I shake my head "he'd been acting jealous lately" I clarify

'Well, it's his loss" he smirks "On a happier note, I got you something" he holds out a little wrapped box "I was waiting to give it to you in private because I didn't know how he would react to it… that's why I was following you into the kitchen. Ironic huh?" he laugh humorlessly

"Damon you shouldn't…"

"Just take it… please." He pleads

I gently tear the paper open from the sides t reveal a white box, I slide the lid off and inside there is a tiny typewriter charm

"Oh my god…" I cover my mouth when my voice breaks, scared to continue

"I don't even know if you still have the charm bracelet I gave you when we were dating, you might have gotten rid of it, I wouldn't blame you…"

"I still have it" I interrupt him "every charm holds a different memory, I could never throw them away"

"This might sound creepy and stalkerish, but here goes… I was back in town for Stefan's graduation, and I was walking downtown and I saw this in a shop window, I knew instantly I had to get it for you as a graduation gift, so I did… I had this big apology memorized and everything" he smiles at the memory

"I never saw you at my graduation" I say sadly, remembering how much I'd wished he had been there

"No, but I saw you. I sat in the audience and cheered with everyone when they called your name" he smiles "I waited until you were done taking pictures with everyone to approach you, but I was cut off by that guy you dated your freshman year"

"Elijah…" I whisper, thinking back to that day "So that means you saw…"

"Him kiss you… yeah" he finishes my sentence

"Oh Damon, that was just him getting closure."

"I know that now… but I was young and immature then, and I was hurt, and all the feelings I thought I was over came rushing back to the surface and I found myself resenting you"

I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes

"Hey, please don't cry" he places his hand on my knee "that's all beside the point, I just wanted to finally give it to you"

"Thank you, Damon. Really… this means so much to me" I wrap my arms around his neck and his wrap around my waist.

"Damon?" I say softly as I pull away

"Yeah" his voice is husky

"He was right… there is something still going on with us"

He just stays quite

"Wasn't he?" I press

Still no response

"Fine, well I guess he was just right about me then"

"No" he sighs, "He was right about all of it"

* * *

**End Note:** Remember! Review, review, review! Also do you guys want a chapter from Damon's POV? Let me know = ]


	13. Chapter 13

**Authors Note: **

Hey Guys!

I hope you all enjoy this chapter! Thank you for the reviews last chapter! You guys rock!

**Flashback**

"I'll probably just hang out on campus," he says as we try and find a comfortable spot on my couch

"Damon… its Christmas; what about your family?" its then that I realize I don't really know anything about his family aside from Stefan

"My uh, well… mom left when I was young, and never came back, not that I can really blame her" he smirks bitterly

"And your dad"

After a long pause, and the look on his face, I wish I hadn't have asked

"I'm sorry, I'm not trying to pry, you don't have to…"

"No, no, it's fine" he interrupts "my dad and I don't have a great relationship, we never have. Let's just leave it at that for now. And since Stefan is going home with Caroline for the holidays I might as well just stay here" he shrugs

"Oh… Well, why don't you come home with us?" I suggest

"To mystic falls?" he sounds dumbfounded

"Yeah"

"Oh, no…" he shifts uncomfortably 'Lena, I didn't say all that because I was fishing for an invitation…"

"I know, and would really love it if you would join us, I just hadn't thought of it until now" I shrug, pretending like it's no big deal to try and ease him of his worry

"I don't know..."

"Come on! It'll just be me, you, Stefan and Caroline, it'll be fun! Plus you'll get to meet my aunt and my brother" I smile at the prospect of this

"Introducing me to the family already… isn't it a little soon for that?" I don't realize that he's teasing and I start to panic, is it too soon for that?

"Relax 'Lena, I was kidding. I'd love to join you if you're sure it's ok with everyone"

"I'll call my aunt right now and tell her" I start to get up from our position on the couch when I feel him grab my wrist

"Not so fast… I do believe was promised cuddling" he smirks

"And I always make good on my promises" I smirk back and lean down to capture his lips with mine

I roll us over on the couch so that I'm straddling him, I quickly return my lips to his and run my fingers through his hair, I hear a deep moan escape his lips in return. Spurred on by his reaction, I suck his bottom lip into my mouth and lightly pull on it with my teeth.

"Jesus, Elena. You'll be the death of me"

He grabs my face with his hands and pulls be back down to him, trying to regain dominance but I'm not having any of it.

I push his chest with my hand, forcing him to lie back down. I slowly start unbuckling his belt and unzip his pants; he lifts himself up just enough for me to free him of them.

I turn myself around so that I'm still straddling him but my back is to him, so that he can't see what I'm doing. Quickly, so that it's a surprise, I lick the length of him.

"Oh god" he groans

I slowly take him into my mouth, though he doesn't fit all the way so I bring my hand to the base of him to make up the difference

I bob my head up and down quickly, only slowing to suck on him and twirl my tongue around his head, I quickly find a rhythm that he seems to like

His moans, turn me on more than ever before

I bring my hand down to his balls, and gently fondle them

"Fuck Elena"

I feel his balls tighten in my hand

"I'm gonna cum 'Lena"

I don't stop; I want to let him cum in my mouth. I actually want to taste him, I don't know if its cause I'm so turned on or what, but I cant wait for him to finish

And just like that he spills his hot liquid down my throat. It's not as great as I thought it would be in the heat of the moment, but it's not that bad either. The look on his face totally makes it worth it.

"Oh my god Elena…" he sighs, sounding exasperated "You sure do know how to cuddle" even in his weakened state he can't help but make a joke

"Shut up" I shove him playfully

"Oh I will. You however will be screaming" he smirks before pulling my legs open and placing a kiss on the inside of my thigh.

* * *

"Come on guys let's go!" Caroline shouts from out front

"Sorry… I should've warned you about how bossy she gets on road trips, she's just excited"

"It's ok, besides I would be a fool to expect any less from her" he smiles

"Hey! I can hear you! Less talking and more moving!"

"Yes Sergeant!" Damon salutes her

"Ugh, are you ready or not?" she's annoyed

"I'm good. What about you Stef? Or do you wanna fix your hair some more?" Damon nudges him

Stefan simply scowls at him, but of course Damon has to push it

"No? Maybe work on your brooding look a little bit? I'll tell you… you almost have it down pat" Damon teases

"Who invited him…" carline asks in her snarky voice

"I did, and can we please not do this… Damon behave, I mean it." I point my finger at his face

"Or what? You gonna punish me" he smirks and wiggles his eyebrows suggestively

"Gross!" Stefan and Caroline say in unison

Damon and I just laugh.

* * *

"You're sure its ok that I stay here?" he asks as we park in front of my childhood home, after dropping off Stefan and Caroline

"Yes. I told you I called my aunt to tell her you were coming last week, everything is going to be fine" I rub his shoulder, trying to ease some of the tension

"I know, it's just…" he looks as if he's trying to find the right word for what he's feeling

"You're nervous! The charismatic cocky as hell Damon Salvatore is nervous!" I giggle

"Stop…"

I try my best, but I can't seem to stifle my giggles

"Stop it…" He looks so embarrassed, I immediately stop

"I'm sorry baby, I just never thought I'd see you so nervous" I give him my best puppy dog eyes, hoping he'll forgive me

"Well this is my first time meeting my girlfriends family… ever" he shrugs

"Well I'm glad I get to be your first" I smirk and wiggle my eyebrows at him, trying to cheer him up, thankfully it works.

"You've been spending way too much time with me Gilbert" he smirks

"Nah, I think its just time enough" I link my arm through his to lead him up the walkway to my house

"Elena!" my Aunt Jenna shouts and pulls me into a hug

"Aunt Jenna!" I hug her back tightly "Ugh, I've missed you so much!"

"Oh kid, you have no idea" She says before finally letting go and looking over my shoulder

"You must be Damon" She holds her hand out for him to shake

Damon brings her hand to his lips and kisses the top of it

"It's nice to meet you mam"

"We may be in the south but its just Jenna" She smiles warmly and pats him on the shoulder "I ordered pizza, you guys hungry?"

"Starving" I say, assuming Damon's hungry also

"What, don't you feed her?" Jenna says to Damon

"Oh, uh…" he stumbles

"She's just giving you a hard time, you'll learn to ignore her", I glare at Jenna

The doorbells rings

"That must be Pete with the pizza. Elena honey, why don't you show Damon where he can put his things"

Damon and I make our way upstairs, stopping so that he can look at the pictures on the walls

"Were these your parents?" he asks pointing to a photo of us all at the falls a few months before the accident

"Yeah" I smile sadly

"Your mother was very beautiful. You look a lot like her" he says and brushes his thumb across my cheek

"Yeah she was" I smile "And thank you" I cup his cheek with my hand and lean in to lightly kiss him before continuing up the stairs

"This is my room" I point to an open doorway "and this is your room for the next few day" I lead him into the room directly across from my own

After he sets his stuff down, he stops to take in the room; he still looks so nervous.

"Relax, will you" I move behind him to rub his shoulder

"I just don't want to mess this up. I want them to like me" he shrugs

"And they will; a person would have to be crazy not to like you" I move to stand in front of him and brush some of the hair away from his forehead

"Is that so" he smirks, leaning in closer to me

"Yeah that's so" I whisper before pressing my lips to his

I hear someone clear their throat

"Jeremy!" I run to hug him

"I thought I heard someone up here, I didn't know I was gonna find Elena pg-13 version" he teases me

"Jer!" I laugh "Damon this is my brother Jeremy, Jer, this is Damon; my boyfriend" I smile, realizing it's the first time I've gotten to introduce him as such

"Hey man, what's up" Jeremy holds his fist out for Damon to bump. Something I've never seen him do before, but of course he doesn't miss a beat

"It's nice to me you, I've heard a lot about you" Damon says politely

"About how awesome I am I hope" Jeremy jokes "I'm in the middle of this crazy race in my room so I'll see you guys later ok?" He turns and heads back to his room

"Race in his room?"

"He's really into video games" I clarify

"I like him…" Damon nods

"Good I'm glad. I told you everything would work out. I'm gonna go get some pizza, you wanna join?"

"Nah, I think I'm gonna check out this race Jeremy's got going on"

"Ok, I'll come back up in a bit"

"So Damon…" Jenna starts as soon as I'm back downstairs

"He's upstairs with Jeremy"

"What's his deal?"

"What do you mean?" I ask

"I mean he's got that mysterious vibe to him"

"You just met him, of course he's mysterious," I laugh

"You know what I mean" she nudges me "I just want you to be carful, I've dated guys like him before, I just want to make sure you know what you're getting into" she shrugs

"I do, and he won't hurt me, not intentionally anyway…"

"Is it ever intentional?" she muses

"Once you get to know him, you'll love him. I promise. Besides Caroline is watching out for me enough for both of you"

"Well… he is ridiculously hot" she smiles

"Don't let him hear you say that, believe me he already knows it" we laugh

It's good to be home.

* * *

**PRESENT DAY: DAMON'S POV**

* * *

"Have you talked to Andie" Stefan asks

"See and here I thought you called just to see how my day is going" I smirk "we talked a little last night, and agreed we'd meet for lunch today"

"What are you gonna do?" he asks

"I don't know" I muse

"What about Elena" he pushes

"I don't know"

"Do you still have feelings for her?"

"Uh, when did we start having hour? And how many times do I have to say I don't know…"

"Damon…"

"Fine. Yes. Ok?"

"Well then what's the problem?" he says like it's all so simple

"The problem is that I've always had feelings for Elena, I just don't know if they're lingering feelings from the past, or the prospect of a future…"

"Either way, if you've always had feelings for her do you really think that's ever going to change?"

"Ok, that's enough brotherly bonding for one day, I have work to finish before I go meet Andie"

"Ok" I hear him sigh, as if he's contemplating whether or not to push his luck "call me if you need me"

"Will do brother"

I attempt to finish my work but my mind just won't stop running; I have to leave to meet Andie in twenty minutes and I have no idea what I'm going to say to her.

I love her, I really do. But I have all these feelings for Elena. Feelings that never fully went away and only intensified since I've been back in this town.

If I decide to stay with Andie, we would have to leave Mystic Falls. There's no way we could live in this town, this close to Elena, and have a successful relationship. There's too much history, too much baggage, it would never work. I would have to cut all ties with Elena, and return to New York, but where does that leave Andie's job… and am I ready for that kind of commitment yet?

That's where I get stuck; I told Elena I wanted to give Andie and I an honest shot, that I wanted to see where our future went, but when I sit down and really think about a future with Andie I come up blank… is that normal?

With Elena I can see it all, big house, big fenced in yard, two tiny children running around as we watch from our porch swing. The problem is that I don't know if that's what I want now, or if that's just my imagination torturing me with images of what should have been.

Andie is trust worthy, dependable. Something Elena used to be, but isn't anymore, when she left me, she broke me. She was selfish, only thinking of the child she lost, not the one WE lost. At one time she was my rock, she showed me a love I had never seen before, she made me want things I'd never fathomed before, I trusted her whole-heartedly, and I'm not sure we can get that back.

I look down at my watch, noticing it's time to leave, and yet I'm back at square one, I have no idea what to say

Andie is reporting a story in Richmond so I told her I would just meet her there for lunch.

"Hey" I sit down across from her

"Hey" she smiles

"How have you been?" I ask

"I've been better" she shrugs "you?"

"Uh, same" I reply awkwardly, not really knowing where to start

"Sooo, Christmas…" she says awkwardly

"I guess we'll just jump right to the point then" I say uncomfortably

"Damon…"

"I don't know what to say, ok"

"I think the fact that you didn't come after me that night says it all"

"You said you wanted alone time" I shrug

"You still could have tried, instead you just went back inside, to… her" it sounds like it burns her to say "I'm not stupid, I see the way she looks at you… and the way you look at her" she looks down at the table

"You're right I should have followed you, I should have called you sooner. I owed you that..." I nod

"So why didn't you…"

I shake my head and pinch the bridge of my nose

"I'm confused" I admit

"About what"

"You and I are great together. Just not here; in Mystic Falls." I look down, ashamed that I'm hurting her "and it shouldn't be that way, the proximity of my ex-girlfriend shouldn't affect us…"

"But it does" she whispers knowingly

I nod in agreement

"And you don't deserve that" I keep my head down, feeling some moisture in my eyes, refusing to let them fall.

"The night of Stefan's birthday party I knew something was wrong; you looked at her with so much emotion, even if it was anger. Since then I've realized that no matter how great you treat me, you'll still never look at me the way you look at her"

"I'm sorry, I truly am. I entered into this with you, thinking that chapter of my life was closed forever, and that I was ready to move on. I never meant for this to happen. I'm so sorry to let you down" I shake my head

She reaches over, and puts her hand on top of mine

"Damon, the only way you'll let me down, is if you let this chance pass you by. You thought that chapter of your life was closed, and now that you know it isn't, you need to go after it; if that's the path you want, take it." She smiles kindly at me

"God, how are you so nice to me right now" I look at her in awe

"Because I love you" she rubs my arm "I'm not sure in what way, I don't know if it was ever in the way you want to love the person you're going to spend your life with, but it's love none the less; and I want nothing more than for you to be happy" She removes her hand from mine, grabs her pure and stands to leave

"Andie" I reach for her hand before she can leave "I want nothing more than for you to be happy also, I want you to find that guy that looks at you the way you want" I cup her face and kiss her on the cheek "Thank you. For everything"

"Goodbye Damon" she touches my cheek with her thumb and then walks back to her car

I may have just closed the Andie chapter in my life, and I may be one step closer to figuring out what I want in life, but I still have a lot to learn.

I need to learn to love

I need to learn to forgive

I need to learn how to move on...

* * *

**END AUTHORS NOTE:**

Phew! Smut is always hard for me to write, but this chapter just seemed to call for it. I hope you guys liked Damon's point of view, leave a review, and let me know what you guys thought. This is probably my last update for the week. If so, have a great weekend everyone!


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:** OK so huge oversight on my part! In the last chapter I said that Damon's mom left when he was young… but she was at Caroline's engagement party… and I never explained why. I always mean to explain in one of the flashbacks that he comes in contact with her again, but I totally forgot… that's was happens when I take too long of a break from a story. I'm going to try my hardest to fit it in somewhere, I'm just not sure when. And I know I said I wasn't going to update again before the weekend, but I lied. You guys are just too awesome and I couldn't help but post this now. Enjoy! And happy weekend for real this time!

* * *

**FLASHBACK**:

"Hey Matty" I pull him in for a hug

"I heard you were back in town" he smiles widely and hugs me back "and not alone …"

"Matt this is Damon, my boyfriend. Damon, this is Matt, we grew up together, we've been friends for ages"

"It's nice to meet you man" Damon holds out a hand for him to shake

"Yeah, you too" matt reciprocates "listen, I better get back to work, sit wherever you guys want, and I'll bring over some menus"

Damon and I pick a booth next to a window, Matt walks over with the menus "it was good to see you again Elena, maybe we can get together and catch up"

"Yeah that would be nice" I smile

"So this is the main restaurant in town?" Damon asks

"Yeah"

"It's small" he says while glancing around

"It's charming" I smile warmly "I've always liked this place, even more so now that I don't live here anymore, it just feels like home."

"That's nice" he smiles and reaches for my hand "to have a place that's home, even my home never really felt like home"

I nod and rub my thumb in soothing circles on his hand, I know better then to ask questions, I need to let him tell me his story in the way he wants

"So, you and farmer john huh?" he teases

"His name's Matt, and what about him?"

"You two high school sweethearts? Hold hands around the roller-rink, Share milkshakes at the local diner, that type of thing?" he smirks

"Yes, we dated, and this may be a small town but it's not that kind of small…" I laugh

"Was it serious?"

"Well I mean he was my first boyfriend, that kind of thing always seems serious at the time… Then you grown up, life moves on, and it becomes just a blip on the radar"

"Did you guys…" he fades off suggestively

"Have sex? Seriously, you wanna talk about this…"

"Hey, just asking" he holds his hands up defensibly with a smirk on his face

"Yeah, we did. He was my first. Now can we please not talk about this anymore" I blush

"Lucky guy" he smirks

"Ugh fine, who was your first?" I ask

"This girl named Madison, it was our freshman year of high school, She was nervous, I was awkward, and it was just plain bad" he chuckles

"That basically sums up my experience too" I laugh

"Well… good thing we know what we're doing now" I wiggles his eyebrows at me

"I swear, I can't take you anywhere," we laugh

After eating we grab our things and leave

"Come on, I wanna take you somewhere. It's a surprise" I add before he can ask

"Ok" he shrugs

"Are you taking me somewhere to murder me" he jokes, as he takes in our remote location

"No" I laugh "don't worry… we're almost there"

"Oh my god" he says as we turn the corner and the falls come into view, "it's beautiful here"

"I love this place, another one of my favorites" I say and climb out of the car, Damon does the same

"I can see why, it's amazing" he walks towards the edge of the water to get a better look at the falls

"This place used to make me sad, but now I'm actually able to look back on all my memories here and it makes me happy" I sit to put my feet in the water, and Damon joins

"I wish you could've met them" I say thoughtfully

"Me too, I would've gladly listened to the protective dad speech" he smiles at me and entwines his fingers with mine

"Something's are just meant to be, you know?"

"Yeah… I do" he cups my face with his hands and rubs my cheeks with his thumbs we stare into each other's eyes until he clears his throat

"How about a swim" he whispers

"The water's probably freezing" I shake my head

"Come on Gilbert, a little cold never hurt anyone" he stands to take his shirt of, and my stomach does flips, god this man.

"No, you'll get sick Damon"

"Eh, I think I'll be fine" he takes off his pants leaving him only in his underwear

"You're on your own… I'm not catching a cold before Christmas" I hold hands up in defense

"Suit yourself" he says and jumps in "you're crazy! the water is amazing" he says when he resurfaces

"I'll take your word for it"

"Oh come on 'Lena" he pouts and gives me his best puppy dog eyes

"Ok, fine" I stand up and remove my top and pants before jumping in "if I catch a cold you better take care of me" I say when I resurface

"Always" he says as he swims over to me "thanks for inviting me to come here with you 'Lena, I'm having a really good time. I really like it here" he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me against him

"Good I'm glad" I lean in for a quick kiss, but of course he's not having any of that

He grabs on to the back of my head to deepen the kiss, and of course I don't argue, instead I delve my fingers into his hair and kiss him back with everything I've got

He slowly guides us under a dock and leans me against a rock where the water ends, no one can see us from here.

He stars kissing down my neck and onto my chest, I let out a breathy moan. Taking this as a sign of approval, he moves his hand around to my back and undoes my bra clasp, the cold water licks at my nipples bringing them to attention, just in time for him to take one of the tiny peaks into his mouth and suck on it.

"Mmm Damon" I moan

"You like that baby" he returns to his ministrations and moves one hand down my belly and dips a finger inside my underwear, into my warm heat "mmm baby, you're so wet for me"

I dig my fingers into his back while my other reaches for a rock to hold onto

"Oh god" I let out another moan

I reach down to pull Damon's underwear off, to free his erection

I wrap my legs around his waist to show him what I want

"Someone's eager" he smirks

"Mhm" I whimper, practically begging him to take me

"It's ok, I'm gonna take care of you babe"

He bends down and captures his lips with mine again and decides to plunge into me when I'm not expecting it

"Ah" we moan in unison. Finally feeling complete

Damon slowly starts moving in and out while my legs are still wrapped around him, my back is pressed into the wall, water splashing around us

I dig my nails in to his back, feeling the tension tighten in my belly

Damon tenderly cups my face in his hand and leans in to kiss me

It's a soft gentle kiss, it surprises me

When he pulls away I open my eyes to look at him and notice he's watching me intently

Our eyes lock and it only intensifies it all, we both fall over the edge at the same time, my heat tightening and milky him for everything he has.

After we return from our high, we stay connected. Pressing our foreheads together, trying to catch our breath

"You ok?" Damon asks and strokes my cheek after pulling out

"Of course" I smile

"It's getting a little chilly let's get you dry" he gathers all our clothes and helps me out of the water and into my car

I turn the heater on first thing; my hands are shaking from the cold wind

I can't help but think about how this time felt different, we've had sex before but never like this, I've never felt like this before… with anyone. This wasn't sex. We made love…

That's when it hits me, I don't just like him anymore, I can't act like I'm not invested in this anymore… I'm falling in love with him.

"Have you ever done that here before?" he interrupts my thoughts

"Nope, you're my first" I smile, knowing where he's going with this

"Lucky guy" he smiles before driving off

* * *

**PRESENT DAY: **

I haven't talked to Damon since Christmas.

He said he had some things to figure out and that he would call me. He could have apologized and gotten back together with Andie for all I know.

I feel awful about everything that happened with Luke, I shouldn't have even started anything with him, knowing how emotionally unavailable I was, that wasn't fair on my part. I called to apologize but he won't answer my calls.

When Damon admitted that there was still something between us, I couldn't have been happier… Then I looked into his eyes and realized he still doesn't trust me… I can't really blame him though, because trust is earned and not given.

Damon doesn't trust easily, he never has; but he did trust me, and I broke that. It's my job to rebuild it.

"Elena you have a call on line one" Bonnie says over the intercom

"Thanks Bon" I pick up the phone "This is Elena"

"Hey!" Caroline's cheery voice rings on the other line

"Hey, why did you call me at work, why not my cell" I ask

"Because I knew if called your cell you would know it was me and you wouldn't answer" she says quickly

"That's not true… I just don't want to talk about Damon"

"I know, but that's why I'm calling so just hear me out" she begs

"Care…"

"Damon met with Andie yesterday!" she blurts out

"Oh…"

"Don't freak out, I don't know what happened, but I'm sure he'll be calling you to tell you soon" she interrupts

"Oh uh, ok. Thanks"

"Elena… don't stress over this, I thought you would want to know"

"I already knew he was going to talk to her, he told me Christmas night, I just don't know what he decided to do. He said he would call me and he hasn't"

"Yet… maybe he's just waiting" she tries to calm me

"But if it was good news why would he wait… I have to go Care I'll call you later" I hang up before she can respond

"Bonnie, I'm gonna head home, I'm not feeling too well"

"Ok. Feel better!" she waves

Maybe Caroline is right, maybe I don't have anything to worry about maybe I am just psyching myself out.

* * *

When I get home I change into my pajamas and order a pizza, what better why to get your mind off of something then, pizza and a movie.

Halfway into the movie my phone rings

"Hello"

"Hey, it's me" Damon says on the other line

"Hey, what's going on?"

"Do you mind if I stop by?" he asks

"Yeah that's fine"

Fifteen minutes later my doorbell rings

"Hey come on in. Make yourself at home. I have pizza if you're hungry" I offer

"No thank you" he says as he sits on my couch "I wanted to talk to you in person"

"Ok" I sit next to him and signal for him to continue

"I talked to Andie yesterday" he starts "We broke things off"

"Oh…" I look down

"No, it's ok" he reaches over and grabs my fiddling hands "it was all very civil. In fact, she helped me realize something" I look up at his face into his eyes

"What?" I whisper, terrified of breaking our connection

"That I've spent all this time saying I need to figure out what I want, when I've already known all along, I was just too afraid to take it. I told you to stop being afraid… I think its time I take my own advice

"Damon…"

"Wait. Please let me finish before you say anything" he rubs my hand "I'm not saying I'm willing to try to go back to the way we were, because we can't. And I'm not saying this is gonna be easy, because it isn't. It's gonna be really hard, we have a lot to talk about, and a lot of hurt to move past, we have a lot of growing to do; We're different people now, we need to get to know each other again…"

"Where do we start?" I ask

"A date?"

"Just name a day and time and I'm there Salvatore" I smile

"How about New Years Eve?"

"Uh, well… are you sure… is that a good idea?" I frown

"What better way get over our problems then to face them head on? On the day it all started…"

* * *

**END A/N:** Thank you for all of the Favorites/ Follows and Reviews! You guys amaze me! Hope you guys liked it! Please continue reviewing, it's my encouragement! Have a great weekend everyone!


	15. Chapter 15

**FLASHBACK**

"I'm late"

"You're fine, we can't leave until the guys get here anyway..." she dismisses

"No Care. I mean I'm late" I raise my eyebrows, hoping she'll catch on

"Oh my god!" she gasps "What…When... I mean… how?"

"I don't know, I mean we were always safe" suddenly it dawns on me "except that time we left the pub and I stayed at his place because it was late. I didn't have my pills and he woke me up in the middle of the night and we…"

"Yeah spare me the details please…" she interrupts, and grimaces

"Well anyway… I took it as soon as I got home in the morning; I just assumed it would be fine"

"Oh my god, you never assume!"

"I think I got that now… thanks" I says sarcastically "Oh my god, what am I gonna do?"

"Have you taken a test?"

"No" I shake my head

"See! I bet you're not pregnant… you've been studying for finals. You're probably just stressed out, that's why you're late" she shrugs

"Maybe" I say doubtfully "but what if…"

"No. We're not playing the 'what if' game"

"What about Damon?" I sigh

"What about him, you don't need to say anything until you know for sure… which you don't"

"I know care, but I just realized I love him… I haven't even had a chance to tell him how I feel. He's going to think I'm trying to trap him. God he just agreed to a relationship, and know I have to throw a baby into the mix"

"No" she shakes her head "no you don't. You don't know there is a baby so please stop working yourself up"

The doorbell interrupts us

"Oh god" I panic

"Go to the bathroom and freshen up, calm yourself down. You don't know that there's anything to worry about yet so just stop. If there is in fact something to worry about we'll cross that bridge when it comes, but for now just calm down. Breathe" she instructs

I go into the bathroom and hold onto the edge of the counter for balance. Breathe in and out, I remind myself.

I feel my heartbeat slowly return to its normal pace.

It's going to be ok I say to myself

When I feel calm enough I make my way back to the living room

"Hey" Damon stands from the couch and walks over to me "you look gorgeous" he kisses me

"OK who's ready to go see the ball drop? I sure am!" Care interrupts

"Ready!" we all say in Unison

We all squish into a cab and direct the driver to time square

"Have you ever spent New Year's Eve in New York?" Damon leans over to ask

"No, I've always wanted to though"

"Prepare to have your mind blown" he whispers as we pull up to our destination

"Oh my god, it's beautiful" I say as we all get out of the car

"We should probably get some drinks while the bar is still pretty empty" Stefan says "Apple Martini for you?" he asks Caroline

"You know it" she smiles

"Yeah I'll go with you Stef, what can I get you my lady" he smirks

"Oh…uh, I think I'm fine for now" I smile, trying to keep it cool

"Nothing? But its new year's eve…" he eyes me skeptically

"Ok fine, a tom Collins please"

"One tom Collins coming right up" he says and heads to the bar with Stefan

"A tom Collins, really? Shouldn't you get a Shirley Temple or something" Caroline asks

"Hey you're the one who said I'm probably just over-reacting" I shrug

"I know… but I also said you should wait till you know for sure…"

"Relax, I'm not gonna drink it, I'll just dump a little out as the night goes on, he won't notice" I brush off her concern "now shush, they're coming back"

"Here you go ladies" Damon says as he hands us our drinks

"I love this song!" Caroline grabs Stefan's arm and drags him onto the dance floor

"And then there were two" I hear him say, but I'm too trapped in my own head to respond "Are you ok? You seem distracted or something"

"Yeah I'm fine, just stressed with finals" I lie

"You're gonna do great" he rubs my arm soothingly

"What about you? Are you ready for graduation?"

"God yes, I can't wait to get out of this place"

I frown

"I didn't mean it like that, I'll still be around, I'm definitely gonna stay in New York, I just meant I can't wait to leave campus" he clarifies

The song switches to a slow one

"Will you dance with me?" he asks

"Of course" I place my hand in his and he leads us to the dance floor

He pulls me into a tight embrace and slowly sways us back and forth

"I'm really glad I get to share this moment with you 'Lena" he pulls back to look me in the eye

"Me too" I smile

"I never in a million years thought I would be dancing with my girlfriend on New year's eve rather than spending it in a bar with my friends" he laughs "but there's nowhere else In the world I'd rather be" he cups my cheek and leans into kiss me

As soon as I close my eyes to kiss him, everything starts to spin, the floor feels like its flipping right out from under me and I start to lose my balance

"Whoa Elena, are you ok?"

"Yeah, just a little dizzy; I think I need to lie down or I might throw up"

"Ok, I'll call a cab"

After the cab arrives Damon instructs him to take us back to my dorm

"You just stay on the couch, I'm gonna go make you some tea"

"Thank you for all this, I'm sorry you're spending your night in"

"I'm fine; I just want you to feel better"

I just nod, not having it in me to lie to him again

"Listen I want to talk to you" he scoots forward on the couch and pulls my hands into his "What I said earlier about leaving this place was out of the blue, I didn't mean it like that, and I need to explain a little more… "

"Damon you already…"

"No, just let me get this out" he takes a deep breath "everything about my world has changed since I met you… Including my decision making process, when I sat down to think about what I was going to do after graduation the only thing that was clear is that whatever I do, I need it to be near you. I don't care what firm I'm at, or where I have to live, I just want it to be near you. I want to keep you in my life, and I know we just started being exclusive, but I've never been surer of anything before…"

"Damon…" I have to tell him, the guilt is too heavy to carry

"I love you, Elena"

"I'm Pregnant" it just spills out… and it couldn't have come at a worst time, he just poured his heart out to me, but he had to know the truth before he kept committing to me… not knowing what he was really signing up for

"What…"

"I'm pregnant" I whisper

"Yeah I heard you the first time, but what, I mean how… what the fuck…"

"It's my fault… that night I stayed at your place after that party… I didn't have my pills with me. I took it in the morning but apparently that's not good enough…" I says bitterly

"Oh my god…"

"I'm sorry it came out like that, but I had to tell you; I couldn't let you keep going on like that when you had no idea what was going on with me"

"How long have you known?"

"Things have been different for a couple weeks, but after we got back from Mystic Falls I really started noticing things; like I was really tired, and dizzy, but I thought that was just due to my lack of sleep from studying, then I went to put on my bra and it was just a little too tight, but even that little bit was practically unbearable, my breast were that sensitive, so I just chalked that up to hormones since I was about to start my period and then, it never came…"

"So you haven't taken a test?"

I shake my head "I've been too afraid that it's gonna tell me what I already know…"

"It still could be all those other things Elena… I'm gonna go buy you a test and we'll do this together"

"No, it's ok, I already bought one, I just didn't want to do it"

"You have to… we need to know for sure" he urges

I get up and walk over to my night stand and pull it out of the drugstore bag

"Do you want me to go with you?" he asks

"No thank you" I scoff, I know he's just trying to be a gentleman but that's the last thing I need right now

"Just let me know when you're done" I hear him yell through the door

When I started my sophomore year of college, I never thought I would be in this position; I was never supposed to be the girl sitting on the toilet with tears streaming down her face while she takes a pregnancy test. I was supposed to be the 28 year old, with a successful job, loving husband, and white picket fence; that jumped for joy when she found out she was having a baby.

This was all wrong

Everything was wrong

I jump when I hear the timer on my phone go off, Damon must hear it too, because he knocks on the door

I don't move to answer the door, I don't ever move to look at the white stick, I simply stay seated on the floor with my back against the bathtub

"Elena, can I come in?"

I don't reply

"Please?"

With one last deep breath I lean forward and reach up to grab the stick off the counter

I take a deep breath and finally look at it

Pregnant. Just like I thought

More silent tears begin to falls from my eyes and I just set the stick down beside me, not wanting to look at it again

"Damnit Elena"

I see the doorknob turn, so he must've realized I never locked it in the first place

I hear him sigh, he knows the outcome probably just by the sheer panic on my face

He moves to sit next to me

"You can go home" I say

"Excuse me?"

"Just go home"

"You've gotta be fucking kidding" he scoffs

"Look you and I both know this is the last thing you want… hell this is the last thing I want, so just go home"

"I'm not leaving you. This doesn't change anything"

"Like hell it doesn't" I say bitterly

"Everything I said earlier still applies, I'm not going anywhere, I'll stay in the city, get a good job and take care of you"

"I guess you're right this doesn't change anything for you, only for me. I'm supposed to what? Drop out of school? Give up my hopes and dreams and become a house mom? I don't want that…"

"What you want Elena? I'm here and I'm willing to help you and take care of you in any way you need…"

"I want to not be pregnant" I snap

"I know but…"

"No you don't know. You're not the one who has to give up everything if we go through with this"

"What do you mean 'if' we go through with this?" he looks appalled

"I mean exactly what I said, we have other options…"

"No. Don't even start, that's not an option and you fucking know it"

"No I don't, I don't know anything, all I know is that I'm pregnant and I don't want to be"

"I get that Elena, I do; but you can't just get rid of it because you're scared… I'm scared too. Hell, I have no idea how to be a dad; I can't even use my own as an example. All I know is that I love you, and I will love this baby too. These may not be the best circumstances, but they are what that are, we'll figure it out together"

"Happy New Year!" I hear people shout from the hallway

"This is not how I expected to start my New Year" I mumble

"I know. Sometimes life throws curveballs and you just have to go with it"

"I just need some time to think" I barely recognize my own voice, I sound so defeated

"OK, well how about we start by getting you off this floor and move somewhere more comfortable" he helps me up

"Damon… You're being really supportive and everything, but think I just need sometime alone"

"Elena…"

"I promise I won't do anything without talking to you first, but I need to be alone right now"

"Ok" he sounds resigned "Please call me if you need anything"

"I will"

After shutting the door I let my body slide down the length of it, pull my legs up to my chest and give into the sobs that have been trying to get out since I first walked into that bathroom.

* * *

**DAMON'S POV **

"Pregnant" he says slowly as he mulls it over "wow"

"Yeah…" I say numbly

"When did you find out?"

"We took the test after we left the New Years Eve party"

"Wow. What are you guys going to do?"

"I told her I would be there for her and that I would take care of both of them"

"Wow"

"For the love of god, please pick a new word"

"What does she think?"

"The night she took the test she was confused about what she wanted to do, I have no idea where her head is at now, she hasn't talked to me since…"

"That was three days ago…"

"No shit Sherlock" I snap

"Damon I know you're going through a lot but I'm your brother and I'm just trying to be here for you"

"I know" I sigh "I'm sorry. I'm just so frustrated. When I left Elena she seemed dead set on just getting rid of it, and I know it's her body and her choice and all that bullshit, but I should have a say in it too"

"I don't think she would do anything like that without talking to you first"

"Normally I would agree with you, but you should have seen her Stefan, she looked so broken, so desperate to fix it, and just go back to how things were… I've never seen her so lost. I'm not sure what she'll do"

"Have you tried going over there?"

"Yeah she won't answer the door, have you seen her when you go see Caroline" I shrug

"No, every time I've called to tell her I was stopping by she insists on meeting me somewhere or just coming to my place… now I think I know why"

A shrill cell phone ring interrupts us

"It's Care" he says glancing down at his phone

"Speak of the devil" I mumble

"Hello" Stefan answers and shoots me a warning glace

"Yeah he's right here, why, what's going on?" his expression slowly turns worrisome as Caroline explains "Where are you? We'll be right there"

"What's going on?" I start to panic

"We have to go…" he grabs my arm

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what the fuck is going on" I yank my arm back

"Elena and Caroline are at the abortion clinic; Caroline wanted you to know…"

"Oh my god…" I grab my keys and sprint to my car

I drive like a mad man to get there in time

As soon as I get there I toss my keys to Stefan and run inside the building

"Damon, what are you doing here…" she looks startled by my presence

"What am I doing here, that the fuck are you doing here!" I shout

"Damon… lower your voice" she glares at me

"Fuck that. You promised Elena, you fucking promised you wouldn't do this without talking to me!"

"Can we please go outside" she glances around the room, looking at all the people watching us

"I didn't tell you because I knew you wouldn't understand" she says once we're outside

"Bullshit. I'll I've been is understanding"

"Damon…"

"I never thought of you as a coward" I interrupt her, too angry to hear her "but you are. You're a fucking coward"

"Oh please, stop acting like you want this" she says with disgust

"Want what? A child with the woman I'm in love with, to raise a family with her, to start our lives together… What part of that sounds so appalling to you? Unless you just don't feel the same way"

"I'm twenty years old Damon… This isn't how this is supposed to be…" she looks down at the ground

"And I'm a twenty-two year old who's barely graduating… this isn't how I pictured it either; Fuck, I never pictured it, but when it comes to you I can see it, we can make this work" I plead

She doesn't say anything so I continue…

"If this is really what you want to do, I'll support you either way. I just don't want you to do it because you don't think there's another option, because there is and I would hate it if you regretted something like this for the rest of your life"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you" she finally looks up at me "I just didn't want you to feel trapped… you told me you didn't want a relationship, but you gave me one to make me happy and then I go and throw a baby in the mix"

"You silly, infuriating girl" I sigh "I didn't start a relationship with you just to make you happy, I wanted a relationship with you because I couldn't stand the idea of you being with someone else, and I knew it was only a matter of time until some guy came along and realized how great of a catch you were and wasn't too afraid to commit to you, so I got over my fear commitment because I want to be with you"

"You really think we can do this?" she asks

"I do"

"I'm scared" her voice cracks and her eyes fill with tears and it breaks my heart

"Me too baby, me too" I pull her to me and wrap my arms around her small frame

"I never really wanted an abortion, I just let my fear get the best of me" she looks so ashamed

"Everyone does irrational things when they're scared, but I need you to talk to me, please don't shut me out again 'Lena."

"I won't"

"I can't raise this baby by myself" I smirk at her, trying to lighten the tension

And it works, because she finally smiles

"You won't have to, I promise"

* * *

**A/N: That was a tough one to get out, so much drama. Sorry there is no present day in this chapter, there was just so much that needed to happen in this chapter it just kept flowing out. **

**Also I just want to say that I am completely unbiased when it comes to the topics of this chapter, I am in no way shape or form trying to push people to one side or the other, and everyone is entitled to their own opinions and choices.**

**That being said, I owe a big shout out to all of my followers/favorites/reviewers, you guys are amazing and the only reason I keep writing. I hope everyone had a good weekend and a good week so far. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and remember to review!**


	16. Chapter 16

**PRESENT DAY**

"Where are we going?" I notice we're not headed towards any of the restaurants in town

"My place" he looks over at me from the driver's seat and smirks

"Your pace? But I thought you said…"

"You'll see" he interrupts

After pulling into a parking spot Damon comes around to open my car door and leads the way to his apartment

When he opens the door I see candles scattered around the room

"Mmm, something smells delicious" I say

"Pasta, my specialty"

"God, you have no idea how much I've missed your cooking" I admit, and then blush at how upfront I'm being

"As much as I love your blush, there will be none of that tonight, tonight is about not holding back, not being embarrassed to say what we want and to lay everything out on the table" he eyes me, waiting for me to agree

"Ok" I nod

"Which is why I thought it would be best to have dinner here, it is new years eve and I wanted tonight to be somewhat romantic, but I figured with everything we have to talk about tonight it might be a little heavy to discuss at a restaurant" he shrugs

"Well it looks like you've thought of everything" I smile

"Have a seat" he gestures to the table for two "I'll go ahead and serve us and get something to drink. Red or white?"

"Red please"

"Typical" he laughs and leaves to get our food

After he returns we dig in, clearly we're both hungry, because neither of us stops to make small talk

Or maybe it's just that neither of us knows where to begin…

"So…" he begins, as if he can read my thoughts "it's funny, in the last four years I've gone over this moment in my head a thousand times, what would I say to you, how would I feel, and now that we're here, now that the moment has come, I've got nothing" he smiles

"I don't think you've got nothing, actually you've probably got too much to say, and you can't figure out where to start. God knows I've given you plenty of things to yell at me about" I laugh humorlessly

"Don't do that" he shakes his head

"Do what?" I ask

"Don't act like a martyr, neither of us are victims, not tonight"

"I'm not trying to be a martyr Damon, I'm being honest. Something I haven't been in a long time, I've been a liar, I've been a coward I've been a fake, I've been selfish, and I've been a hypocrite… whatever it took to look at myself in the mirror I did, just to get through past four years"

"You're not…"

"Oh yeah…" she interrupts "I LIED to Caroline about why whereabouts just so you couldn't fine me, because I couldn't stand to see the look of disappointment on your face anymore because I'm a COWARD. I've been a FAKE by pretending I'm ok, and acting like none of this matters anymore when it's the only thing that does, I've been SELFISH and only thought of my feelings and didn't care about how you were feeling… I almost killed out baby, Damon, and then I had the gall to be sad when I lost it. If that's not hypocrisy I don't know what is…"

"You didn't lose the baby because you almost got an abortion… it wasn't some kind of sick punishment; it just wasn't meant to be…"

"But why… I had just accepted it, I was even a little excited, and then it was all pulled right out from under me…"

"You know the doctors said there was nothing you could've done… it just wasn't the right time"

"You should blame me, why couldn't you just blame me…"

"Because it wasn't your fault, I never blamed you, I just wanted you to open up to me" he reaches out and grabs my hand

"I couldn't" I look down, afraid to meet his eyes

"Why not" his voice is so desperate

"I didn't know how. I kept thinking back to the day at the clinic and how I promised I wouldn't shut you out, I knew I needed to talk to someone, and I knew that you were the only person who would really understand how I was feeling but I couldn't bring myself to dump my pain on you when I could see how much you were already hurting"

"I would've gladly shouldered some of your pain… I would've done anything for you" he smiles sadly "hell, I still would"

"It just kept building up inside and the pain started to turn in to anger, and I directed it toward the person closest to me… you. The more I pushed you away the more I felt like couldn't talk to you"

"Why were you so angry with me?"

"I was angry at myself, I just didn't know how to voice it, so instead I nit-picked you about everything…"

"Until the night you left…" he says thinking back to that night

"I was so bitter about everything in my life, losing the baby… having to take time off school, it felt like everyone's lives were moving forward except mine, it was childish. So when you came home and announced that you got a promotion at work, I snapped… I should've been happy for you, but instead the excitement in your eyes was like a knife to the heart… I thought 'how dare he be happy with everything going on'... I was an awful person" I say ashamed

"No you were a sad person"

"I'm so sorry for that night, I turned everything around on you, I blamed you for everything… I never meant a word I said" I shake my head

"I know that now, I was angry back then too. Sometimes I wanted to shake you and tell you to snap the hell out of it"

"Someone should have" I say

"I think everyone was afraid they would break you…" he chuckles

"That was the worst part… everyone treating me differently; it was a constant reminder that things weren't right. All I wanted was to pretend it didn't happen, but then Caroline would talk in a gentle voice as if she was trying not to startle me, or I would hear you guys whispering in the other room because you didn't want to hurt my feelings, and it would remind me that things weren't the same and they probably never would be…"

"When I look back at that time in our lives there are so many things I would've done differently… I could handle it so much better now"

"Like what?" I ask

"I would've got us some help… someone who would've listened to us without judgment"

"I should have never left like that…" I add

* * *

**FLASHBACK Damon's POV**

"Look at you Mr. Graduate…so handsome" she comes up and kisses me

"I do what I can"

"I hope you don't mind but I made dinner reservations at that Italian place you like downtown" she smiles

"I'm really sorry, but I actually promised my dad we would go to dinner with him to celebrate"

"You didn't… did you tell him about…" she frowns

"No. God no" I interrupt "it's none of his damn business…"

"Ok, well then what's going on? I don't mind having dinner with him, I'd actually really like to meet him but normally you avoid him at all costs"

I take a deep breath, deciding if I should tell her or not

"Damon…" she says warningly

"Fine, but promise me you won't get upset…" she nods, so I continue "I want to talk to him about a job…I'm having a hard time finding a firm that's willing to pay me, I'm a new grad so I've gotten plenty of internship offers but none of them pay…"

"No…" she stops me

"We need money"

"No. You're not giving up your dream just because we need money"

"I'm not giving up my dream, just getting some experience under my belt while getting paid… plus after awhile I'll have enough experience to apply at any firm I want" I plead

"I don't like this" she says

"It's not that bad, it's a big firm, and I'll hardly ever see him anyway"

"I just don't like that you have to settle…"

"I'm not settling, I'm doing what I have to do for my future family… we're gonna need a place to live" I place my hand on her still flat stomach and my heart swells

"I know, but can't I help… I could get a job at a restaurant or something…" she asks

"No" I shake my head "I want you to rest, plus you have your online summer classes to focus on. Working for my dad is only temporary, a means to an end, I promise"

"Ok" she nods

"Now how about we go home and you get me out of this robe before dinner?" I smirk

* * *

"So, Elena… what do you do?" My dad asks

"Oh um, well I'm still a student" she replies shyly

I should've warned her to keep her head up, my father views shyness as a weakness and he always strikes when you're weak.

Maybe I shouldn't have brought her with me

"She's an English major, like Stefan" I intervene

"Is that so…" he nods

"That's how we met" she adds in

"Oh Stefan, always the romantic, I think it's from all those books he reads" he laughs "What about you Damon, I assume there's a reason you wanted to have dinner with me other than to celebrate…"

"Well…" here goes nothing "I actually wanted to talk to you about a job, I was thinking that maybe I should work at your firm, you know see how the pros do it, walk it your footsteps…" I try and butter him up

"Why, were you planning on working elsewhere?"

"Um well…"

"Of course you're going to work for me; I can't believe you would even entertain the idea of going somewhere else. You're a Salvatore for god sakes; no other firm in town would hire you simply out of respect for me"

I laugh humorlessly "if that's the case then why…"

"Damon…" Elena warns me, knowing I'm about to lose my temper

"You're right dad" I force a smile on my face

I look over at Elena and notice her wince a little

She must notice I'm concerned because she nods that she is ok

"What do you plan on doing with this English degree when you're done Elena?" he asks

"I want to be a writer" she smiles

"What kind of writer?" he enquires

"A journalist" she nods "I've always wanted to write for the New York Times"

"Ambitious" is all he says

"She'll make it, she's amazing" I add

"Are you from around here?" he continues with the twenty questions

"No sir, I actually grew up in a small town in Virginia"

"My, my, small town girl, with big city ambitions, it's quite the cliché isn't it" he smiles

There's no one better at being condescending while making it sound like he's just getting to know you then Giuseppe Salvatore

"I guess you could say that" she just rolls with it, without missing a beat

"Like I said, she's an amazing writer; some of her articles put the most esteemed writers out there to shame…" I decide to throw in my two cents

"He's exaggerating" she blushes

"Nonsense, I taught my son to give credit where credit's due. Now if, you'll excuse me I'm going to check on dinner, my incompetent maids can't seem to get anything right"

"I'm sorry" I say to her as soon as my dad is out of earshot

"He's intense…" she lets out a breath she must have been holding in

"Again I apologize in advance, because I'm sure he's about to insult us the remainder of the night"

"Can I use the restroom before he comes back" she asks

"Sure I'll show you where it is," I turn to her when we reach the door "are you ok by the way, what was wrong earlier?"

"Oh just a little cramping"

I start to panic

"Its fine, calm down" she rubs my shoulder "It started the other day and I called the doctor, the nurse said it's perfectly normal as long as there's no spotting"

"The other day… why didn't you tell me?" I try to keep my voice down so my dad doesn't hear

"Because I knew you would freak out like this, and there's nothing to worry about… if it had been serious I would have told you" she tries to soothe me "no get back to the table before he thinks we left or something"

When I get back to the dining room my father is already sitting at the table

"Sorry, I was showing her where the restroom was" I apologize

"Are you sure she's not going to stuff some candlesticks in her pockets on the way back…" he jokes crudely

"What?" I knew he's an ass but I wasn't expecting that…

"What were you expecting Damon… You show up with this girl, Stefan tells me you're calling her your girlfriend… I know you like to play tricks on me but I thought you knew better than this… "

"Are you fucking serous right now…"

"She's not a match for this family… she doesn't come from the right background, she doesn't come from a family of means…"

"A family of means… you already have everything you could possibly want… why would you need me to be with someone of means? I knew you were a bastard but I never expected this from you…" I'm too angry to notice that Elena is back from the restroom

"I'm not with Damon for the money Mr. Salvatore…" she sounds so tiny

"I'm sure you're not dear, but you have to understand it doesn't change anything, you're just not a match for this family"

"Why… I'm educated, I'm a hard worker, I'm honest and I love your son…"

My heart skips a beat at the admission of her love for me

"That's all fine… we wouldn't even need to have this conversation if you were just another one of Damon's liaisons, but I can't have him flaunting you around, jeopardizing our family name"

"Our family name… What is this 1864? Can't you just be happy for me, once in my life!" I yell

"Happy… There are thousands of well-read young women and NYU for you to choose from, and you expect me to be happy that you've decided to settle town with the small town trash…"

I hear her gasp, at first I think it's from his harsh words but when I look over at her I see her hunched over in pain, about to fall to the ground

I run to her side, and kneel next to her

"'Lena, baby what's wrong?"

"It hurts Damon" she whimpers "It's worse than before" she clutches tightly at her lower abdomen

"What the hell is going on" my dad pipes in

"Just please shut up" I bark "I'm going to go call an ambulance…" I say calmly to Elena

"No! No ambulances just drive me there please" she pleads

"Elena…" I say warningly

"It doesn't hurt so badly anymore"

I let out a resigned sigh, knowing we're just wasting time arguing over this

When I help her off the ground a line of blood starts to drip down her legs from under her dress

I feel myself start to panic

I must be staring because she follows my line of sight

"Oh god, Damon" she whimpers

"Let's go" I pull myself together, hoping it's not too late for the doctor to help her

"Oh for god sakes Damon, please tell me you didn't get this girl pregnant…"

"Dad! I need you to just shut the fuck up, for once in your life please!" I shout and walk Elena out to the car, leaving my father stunned

I drive the fastest I've ever driven before to the hospital, I pull into the loading zone and just leave my car there, not even caring if it gets towed

After explaining what happened to the nurses they take her right back to an examination room

"We just need to take a blood sample Ms. Gilbert and then the Doctor will be in to see you" the nurse says, after collecting her sample she leaves

"Everything is going to be ok" I say and rub her arm soothingly

"No its not" she whispers "I can feel it, it's gone"

A stray tear runs down her cheek and I wipe it away with my thumb

"Don't say that… you have to stay positive"

She doesn't respond

She just stares at the wall with the most broken expression I've ever seen in my life

And it makes me want to scream

Why is this happening… why are we being tested like this?

"Ms. Gilbert, I'm Dr. Fell" she takes a seat and moves her chair closer to the table Elena is laying on

"I'm afraid I have some bad news"

I'm not sure what she says after that… all I know is that it's over

An hour ago I was happy, I was about to get everything I wanted and now it's gone

I feel a tear drop streak down my face and I quickly reach up to wipe it away, but then another one falls, soon there is too many to keep up with

"You should pass the rest of it on your own" I hear the doctor say, I don't know what she's referring to though "Take all the time you need" She says before leaving us alone

"Let's go" she mumbles

"What?" I ask dumbfounded

"She said to take all the time I need, I don't need any time, I want to go" she stands off the table and removes the hospital gown

The fact that she has to put her blood stained dress back on seems like a sick joke

"But Elena… are you sure you're…"

"I said I want to go" she barks out

Without arguing with her further I grab the rest off our stuff and we walk to the car

The ride back to NYU is silent

As we pass by the campus I see all the people taking down the graduation tents… how ironic is that.

It seems like this morning was forever ago, just a distant memory

"Can you take me back to my place…" she says when she notices I was headed to my dorm

"My roommate is gone already, so we would have some alone time, I think we should talk…"

"I want to be with Caroline" she interrupts "Just please take me home" she says coldly

I walk her to the door to make sure she's ok, she pulls out her keys to unlock the door but her hands are too shaky

"Here, let me" I offer and unlock the door

"Hey guys!" Caroline shouts from the couch "how was…" she stops when she takes in Elena's appearance "oh god, what happened"

Elena just shakes her head

Caroline walks over and embraces her

Elena crumbles in her arms and lets our her sobs

In that moment I wondered if she'll ever let me in again.

* * *

**AN: And I thought the last chapter was hard to write… I had the hardest time getting this chapter out, I've read over it and over, and I hope that I captured the raw emotion I was hoping to. I have an idea for a new story that I can't wait to share with you guys, but I won't start it until I finish this one, right now I'm taking my time and mapping it all out. I'm learning from the mistakes I made in this story, which was my first and has kind of been a learn as you go process, thank you so much for all the amazing reviews last chapter, you guys are awesome! And because you're so awesome, I decided to upload this now, instead of Monday! I hope you guys enjoy it, don't forget to let me know what you think, and above all have a fantastic weekend!**


	17. Chapter 17

**PRESENT DAY:**

* * *

"I'm so sorry for shutting you out like that"

"I get it now, you and I may have been willing to start a family together because of the circumstances we were under, but we hadn't known each other all that long, you were just getting used to the idea that I was going to commit to you, and then you had to go from trusting me enough to have my baby, to trusting me to take care of you when you need it the most, and you just couldn't…"

"Its not that I didn't want to…" I add

"" I know, you've known Caroline your entire life, you could trust her, you knew you could lean on her without worrying she might bolt" he shrugs

"I'm so, so sorry" I look away from his eyes

"Don't be" he reaches out and grabs my hand "back then I was angry, I didn't understand why you didn't trust me… why you wouldn't let me in, it was immature. When you're young you think you have it all figured out, it wasn't until I got older that I realized I had never really given you a reason to trust me"

"That's not true" I feel a strong need to protect him from himself

"Yes it is, I may not have done anything to break your trust but I never really did anything to earn it either… you see in my head committing to you was huge, something I had never done before, to me I was making the biggest statement I could possibly make, but to you, to a normal person, that's just what someone does when they find the person they love… its not the big earth shattering silent message like I thought it was. It simply means 'hey I like you and I want to spend time getting to know you' not 'hey I like you, I want to get to know you and lets have a baby'" he smiles "Neither of us were ready for that"

"You committing to me said a lot more to me then you think, I saw how hard it was for you in your eyes, and I knew you were tackling your fears just to be with me, which is why I felt so ashamed that I couldn't tackle mine for you. I saw how badly you were hurting I saw how much you were yearning for me to talk to you, to ask you how you were doing; god, you have no idea how many times I told myself that today was going to be the day, you were going to come home from work and I was going to go over to you apartment and say 'How was your day today' but I could never seem to get it out and the longer I waited to harder it got…"

I take a deep breath to calm my self down

"I wanted that baby Damon" my voice cracks, its one of the few times I admitted it out loud

"I know baby, I know you did" he scoots closer to me and wraps his arms around me

"I wanted it so badly, the timing sucked, and if I had a choice I wouldn't have picked that time in my life, I was just so young, but I could still see it, a family with you, I wanted it…I was just too afraid to admit it"

"We both were" he sighs, and looks down at the coffee table, I can tell he's trying to figure out how to bring up what he really wants to know

"Why did you leave?" he finally asks

"I felt like I was suffocating there… I threw myself into my schoolwork so much that when my summer classes ended I didn't know what to do with myself, I was forced to stop and look at my life, and the people around me. That 's when I first realized that you had all started to move on, and I was still stuck in the same place as the night we left the hospital… That's when I started to get bitter, and soon that turned in to anger, which turned into resentment, and finally it pushed me overboard. The night you came home and told me about the promotion I was so full of resentment at you for moving on with you life and guilt for the fact that you were still working for your father, the father that you only took a job from to support you child, the child that I couldn't ever carry, I had one job, Damon… and I failed"

"You didn't fail," he says sternly

"I know that now, but then it's all I felt. Anyway, I snapped, after our fight I went back to my dorm, packed all my stuff and drove home to mystic falls, I didn't even tell Caroline where I was going because I knew she would tell Stefan as soon as she could and then you would try and stop me, and I didn't want to be stopped. After I got home, I told Jenna you and I had a fight and I just needed some space, I kept everything to myself the rest of the summer"

When I finally have the courage glance up at his face, I see how pained he looks; instead of looking down again like a coward, I rub his hand soothingly

"You have to know that I was miserable, at least when I was in New York I was surrounded by people who knew what was going on with me, at home I was completely alone, no one knew about our tragic story, they just all thought I was crazy. I thought it would be easier to move on if nobody around me knew what had happened, but it only made it worse I felt more alone and more trapped in my own head then ever before… "

"What made you come back?"

"One night, towards the end of the summer I told Jenna that I was dropping out, that I didn't want to finish school; she freaked out and told me it was stupid to let some guy ruin my education and that's when I broke down, hearing her call you 'some guy' with such malice broke my heart, because you didn't deserve to have your name slandered, you never did anything wrong… so I finally told her everything that had happened, I finally opened up and let out the pain I had kept bottled up for months. I instantly felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders, I could finally see clearly, and the weight of what I had done to you hit me like a brick wall"

"Why didn't you call?" He asks

"I wanted to be better before I returned, I wanted to be able to apologize to you and tell you I wouldn't freak out and leave you ever again, and in order to do that I need to take a time out and look at myself, my fears, and my pain and work past them. I was determined to become the women you deserved all along" I pause to catch my breath

"When I finally came back to New York I was on a mission to repair all the damage I had caused, first with Caroline which wasn't easy, she was pissed at me for leaving her too, then with Stefan… I never really thought about the fact that our baby was his niece or nephew and he deserved to know someone was sorry for his loss as well. I saved you for last, Stefan told me you were still working for your dad so I figured I would just stop by and surprise you, on my way there I stopped at a newsstand on the street and there you were on the cover of the Wall Street Journal… It said you had been made partner at your law firm, one of the youngest partners ever. At first I was so happy, but then I saw your weren't alone in the picture, you were holding hands with a leggy brunette and every bit of courage I had flew right out the window" I shrug

"I had to try to move on ' Lena, Katherine was just my coping mechanism" he says almost like and apology

"I know" I rub his hand soothingly "it was childish of me to back down, even if you had moved on you still deserved an apology"

"Part of me is glad you never came, because I'm not sure what you would have found, I was just a shell of a man without you, yet I was so afraid of you that I probably wouldn't have greeted you with open arms"

"I don't blame you" I shrug "after that I went back to school and tried my best to move on with my life, and the rest is history…"

"Timing has never been our thing" I add, when he doesn't say anything

I hear people out side the window chanting "10, 9, 8…" counting down to the New Year

"It is now" he smirks

Slowly he leans his face into mine… and finally after all these years and all the pain, our lips meet, and something inside of me heals, I feel more whole then I have since the night at the hospital all those years ago, he slowly pulls away and tucks a strand of hair behind my hair

"Happy New Year, Elena" he whispers

* * *

**FLASHBACK: DAMONS POV**

"Hey what are you doing here?" I ask when I see Elena sitting on my couch waiting for me

I walk over to give her a hug and a kiss on the top of her head, since 'that night' I've learned not to kiss her on her lips

"Just hanging out" she shrugs

Her face is so blank, it always s nowadays, I have no idea what's going on in her head anymore, here eyes that once held the depths of the ocean in them are now shallow and blank

But I have to keep trying to get through to her

"Do you want something to eat? I can make us pasta, your favorite" I smile at her

"No thanks"

"Elena you have to eat something" I plead

She just shakes her head

"Come on, I would love to make dinner for you, plus I have some good news" we haven't had good news in awhile and part of me is hoping that some positive news might help break her out of this depression

"Ok" she says quietly

I don't say anything else, in hopes that she won't change her mind, I just go into the kitchen and start making dinner.

After the pasta is done I serve up two plates and set the table she's already sitting at

"So are you ready for the news?" I ask

"Sure"

"I got promoted from paralegal to a staff lawyer" I say, hoping she'll be as happy about it as I am

Instead, she says nothing

I don't want to push it, so we just eat in silence

After I clear the table and wash all the dishes, I join Elena back in the living room and take a seat next to her on the couch

"Aren't you even a little proud of me?" I ask, breaking the silence

"Proud of you?" she asks, like it's the most absurd thing in the world

"Yeah, proud of me, I got a full time position; I'm being assigned my own cases and I only graduated two months ago" I'm not trying to brag, I just want to evoke some emotion out of her, any emotion

"Exactly… you graduated just two months ago, the same day, I lost the baby… and yet here you are acting like it's no big deal, life just moves on for you I guess" she sneers

"I know you're hurting, but that's not fair… and YOU didn't lose the baby WE lost the baby, and I'm just as heartbroken, but we have to try and move forward Elena, for our own good" I try to reason with her

"Oh give me a break… you didn't lose shit" she says maliciously

"Stop it" I warn her

"I have a dress stained with blood to prove what I lost, what about you? Or did I just miss it?" she continues

"You're being irrational right now" I shake my head

She's just lashing out she doesn't mean any of it, I keep telling myself

"No, no I'm not. You wanted me to talk, well now I'm talking… what did you expect Damon, for me to be happy? Cause I'm not, and I'm never going to be, so why don't you just give up, you never wanted this, you never wanted to have to take care of someone… you just wanted a quick fuck and accidently ended up with more then you bargained for. So why don't you just go ahead and leave, we all know you're dying to"

"How dare you! I wanted that baby just as much as you did, maybe even more" I realize what I've said after it's too late

"Ha" she laughs humorlessly "So there it is, you finally admit this is my fault"

"What? No, damnit Elena, stop twisting my words around!" I raise my voice in frustration

"We all know it's true, I didn't want this baby, and now it's gone, god knows why I'm so sad about it. I should be relieved… now I don't have to spend a lifetime raising a child with you, being forced to look at a man who is only with me out of duty" she sneers

''That's enough Elena, I've sat around and watched you mope and self deprecate for two months, and it needs to end. The only person blaming you for anything is your self, and I can't do it anymore, I can't sit around and watch you wither away"

"So then leave" she says nonchalantly

"You know that's not what I meant… I just want you to talk to me, let it out… I know you think I don't get it and you're right… I probably don't understand the magnitude of pain you're feeling but I'm willing to listen, I'm willing to try and understand"

"Watch out ladies and gentleman, Damon Salvatore is willing to take time out of his debonair lifestyle to listen to little old me," she says sarcastically

"I can't deal with you when you're like this…" I resign

"Fine" se says defiantly "You wont have to anymore" she grabs her stuff from the couch and makes her way to my front door

"What are you twelve? Don't storm off like this, we're talking," I plead

"No you're talking, apparently I'm just self deprecating, sorry to impose on your perfect little life, I wont anymore" with that she storms out my door like a child

I don't have the energy to go after her, I know I should, but quite frankly I have no idea what I would say even if I did, I don't know how to calm her down anymore, this woman she is becoming s not my Elena, and I don't know how to reason with her

So instead of going after her, I allow myself to slide down the length of the door take a deep breath, pull my legs to my chest and repeat my new mantra…

She's just lashing out, she doesn't mean any of it

Maybe if I knew it was the last time I would see her in two years, I would've gone after her… I guess we'll never know.

* * *

**END A/N: ok so I'm really not that happy with this chapter… but I have no idea what to change to make it better, so here it is. Also, is it weird that it's actually a lot easier for me to write Damon's POV… thanks for all of the reviews/ favorites on the last chapter… you guys blew me away! All right… I'm gonna go, my face is all numb from the dentist… also I'm just rambling. OH! You know what would be awesome? if we reached 100 reviews… it might just make my dental pain disappear ;-)**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Hey guys! Since we covered Elena leaving last chapter, we're done with the flashbacks, They talked about their past and now it's time for them to forgive and move forward so it's going to be present day from here on out, we're just about done with this story only about 3 more chapter to go!**

* * *

"Sooo, are you guys like back together?" she asks as we walk around the wedding boutique

"I don't know Care. I mean, we talked and it went really well, it was healthy. I feel good, I haven't felt this good in a long time" I smile

"Yeah yeah I heard all about the talking, I want to hear more about the kissing" she wiggles her eyebrows

"I already told you… we kissed that's it" I shrug

"Oh my god that is so not it, when did you decide to start keeping details from me… I'm about to be a married woman; I need to live vicariously through someone"

"Oh please, you can't wait to marry Stefan" I laugh "and besides, that really is all that happened"

"Do you want more to happen?" she asks

"Of course I do, I love him Care, I always have, but I don't want to rush things. We didn't have a choice when we were younger, we rushed into things because of the circumstances… but now that we're older we have time to talk and get to know each other again" I smile

"Yeah but wouldn't that all be so much more fun if you were both naked?" she smirks

"We're so not ready for that yet" I laugh

"What are you ready for then?"

"I don't know, dinner?"

"Boriiiing" she sing-songs

"No, romantic" I amend

"If you say so, I just hope things aren't awkward at the rehearsal tonight… Oh!" she shouts "What about these for the gift boxes at the tables?"

"They're beautiful; I can't believe you're getting married this weekend"

"Me either, I never thought this day would come"

"You sure hoped it would, we've been planning this thing since we were ten" I tease her

"I just hope it's everything I hoped it would be" she says

"It's going to be even better" I reassure her

"How do you know?"

"Because when we were ten you wanted to marry Tyler Lockwood, and that would've been a disaster. Now you have Stefan, he's your perfect match, and loves you more than anything in the world" I smile

"You're right. Thank you for that" she hugs me "you know you and Damon will figure everything out right…"

"I hope so" I nod

"No you will" she says with certainty

"How are you so sure?" I ask

"Because he loves you more than anything in the world" she repeats my previous words back to me "I was there when you left, and I'm not saying this to make you feel bad, but I've never seen anyone so numb. When you left it's like you took his heart with you, it wasn't until he's been back around you that he started to resemble anything close to a human being again"

I look down sadly, Damon told me a little about what happened while I was gone, but just like I figured… he left out a lot because he didn't want to hurt me

"I really didn't want to make you sad, I just wanted to prove that you're still the keeper of his heart, and I'm pretty sure he still has yours too"

"Yeah, he does" I agree

* * *

"No, no, no. It's all wrong, Elena you need to stand over there" She points "and Bonnie you move down a little, Damon can you move up a couple steps"

"Yes sir" he mock salutes her

"Don't make me kick you out of the wedding party" she warns

"I wouldn't dream of it Blondie" he smirks

"Ugh, I need a drink" she turns and walks away

"Everyone just take a break while I go calm her down" says the wedding coordinator

Everyone leaves the platform and scatters around the room

Only Damon and I remain on the steps

"Hey" he says and slowly makes his way over to me

"Hey back" I smile

"Caroline looks like her head is about to explode" he laughs

"This wedding is one of the biggest days of her life; she just wants everything to be perfect. Besides it's almost over… you know you could start being a little nicer to her" I nudge him

"I could… but where's the fun in that" he smirks

I just smile, not knowing what to say

"Soooo" he says, breaking the silence

"So" I repeat, with a smile, encouraging him to continue

"The other night…"

"Yeah?" I ask, worrying that he's going to say it was a mistake, or that he wants to pretend it never happened

"It was nice" he smiles, putting my fears at ease

"Yeah it was" I smile "Maybe we can do it again sometime?" I ask, deciding to take initiative

"I'd like that" he smiles and steps a little closer to me

"Good, me too" I whisper as I subconsciously step closer too

"You looked beautiful up there" he reaches up to tuck my hair behind my ear

Just that little action sends chills down my spine

"Thank you" I blush

"Oh Lena, if only you knew what your blush does to me" he whispers, and just like that… I'm weak in the knees

He bends down to press his lips to mine…

"I'm not over-reacting Stefan!" Caroline comes storming into the room

Damon and I quickly pull away from each other

"Yes you are babe" Stefan says calmly

"Why because I don't want to just let people stand wherever they want… sorry I want our wedding day to be special!" she storms back out

Damon and I both walk over to Stefan

"I don't know what to do with her anymore; I just wish she would realize that this day will be special no matter what… I'm tired of our perfect day being contingent on the height of our flower arrangements. Shouldn't she be happy just over the fact that we're making a commitment to love each other forever, isn't that special enough?" Stefan says, sounding defeated

I look at Damon to see if he has any advice for his brother but he just shrugs, so I decide to step it

"It is enough; it means everything to her, even if it doesn't seem like it right now… " he just sighs in defeat, so I continue "Listen, I've known Caroline my whole life and my guess is she's just focusing on all these tedious tasks to distract herself from the fact that she's nervous" I rub his shoulder

"I'm nervous too, why can't she just come to me" he looks up at me

"She wants to, she just doesn't know how… If I know Caroline she's probably afraid that you'll think she's getting cold feet if she tells you she's nervous"

"I wouldn't…"

"I know, but us girls can think and do some irrational things when we're scared" I say, "It's not that she thinks any less of you" I smile at him and look up at Damon and see him smiling

His smile tells me that everything is going to be ok, that I can be honest with him and he's not going anywhere, breaking our connection I look back at Stefan

"Do you mind if I try and talk to her?" I ask

"Of course not" he shakes his head

I glance over at Damon and smile one last time before going after my neurotic best friend

* * *

**DAMONS POV**

"What's going on between you two?" Stefan asks, noticing our many glanced at each other

"Nothing" I shrug

"Yeah right… when I walked in here you guys pulled apart so fast it was like shrapnel, so yeah… something's going on"

"I don't even know yet, so there's really nothing to tell you"

"Fine" he resigns "she's pretty amazing though"

"Hey…you're already marrying Caroline, you can't have the best friend too" I tease him

"Everything is a joke to you" he shakes his head

"Look I don't need you to tell me how amazing Elena is, believe me I already know; and I know you think I'm bad for her, you always have but…"

"I don't think you're bad for her Damon" he stops me "I mean yeah, ok, I did in the past…but she was my friend, and your track record with women was less then amicable. I just didn't want her to get hurt, and I didn't want anything else coming between you and I, we were already on shaky ground back then" he pauses to take a breath "and I know she hurt you badly, believe me I haven't forgotten but the bottom-line is that you guys are both different people now, your smarter and more mature, and I think what you're doing is great"

"Really?"

"I just want you to be happy Damon, that's all I've ever wanted for you; and if Elena is what makes you happy then I'm all for it"

"Thanks Stef, that really means a lot to me"

I look over Stefan's shoulder when I hear a door open and see Caroline and Elena walk in

"Everything is going to work out with you too, Caroline loves you. She just lost sight of the bigger picture for awhile, but she loves you more then anything"

"How do you know?" he asks

"Stefan" Caroline interrupts us

"Yeah?"

"I'm so sorry! I totally freaked out on you and you didn't deserve it, you've been so amazing and I've been acting like a total bitch through this whole wedding planning process! I totally forgot to stop and enjoy it, I'm marrying the man of my dreams for god sakes"

"Its ok Care, just promise me you'll talk to me when you feel like you're getting in over your head" he pleads

"I promise" she nods "I love you so much Stefan"

"No, I love you so much" he grabs her and pulls her in to a hug

"I just know" I wink at him

"Thank you" he whispers

"Anytime bro"

* * *

"Talking people off the ledge is exhausting" she sighs

"Yeah I don't know about you but it really worked up my appetite" I say

"Well lucky for you the rehearsal dinner is just down the street " she smirks

"Yeah, or, I know I really great Thai restaurant down the road" I smirk back

"I don't know about you but I'd rather not be murdered by Caroline tonight"

"Who said anything about you getting Thai food, I just said I might go" I tease her

"Fine, its your funeral…" she teases back

"Seriously though Lena, we did such a great job calming them down that they're so blissfully in love they won't even notice we're not there"

Her lips pucker and twist to the side, I can tell she's thinking about it

"Come on, you know you want to" I whisper

"Ok fine, lets go before I change my mind"

I grab her hand a lead her to my car

"Today was exhausting" she sighs, and settles into her seat

"You're telling me, I had to talk to Stefan about feelings today" I act like I'm disgusted

"Yea well I had to tell Caroline, that having fragrant flowers on a table doesn't make people loose their appetites, I felt ridiculous"

"What is it about weddings that make women go crazy" I laugh

"Well I mean we plan these things our whole lives, we have these visions in our head of what its supposed to be like, and I think we just go a little crazy when we realize nothing is ever actually perfect"

"Some things are perfect" I correct her and flash a smirk

She blushes again, god that blush

"Anyway, if I ever get that crazy planning my wedding, please snap me out of it"

Her blush darkens when she realizes what she said

"I mean… I didn't… or uh, I don't…"

"I know what you meant Lena, calm down" I laugh and reach over to grab her hand "It's ok" I rub soothing circles with my thumb

"I like this" she says as she looks down at our hands and smiles "it feels right, normal. This is the first time I've felt normal in a long time, whatever that means"

"Believe me, I get it" I focus on my driving as I park the car

I hear her seatbelt unbuckle, when I turn to look at her she surprises me by leaning over and capturing my lips with hers

After a second she pulls away and looks down shyly

"Sorry, I've wanted to do that all day" she says

"Don't be, I've wanted it just as much, besides I like this Elena, the one who takes what she wants" I lean in and peck her on the lips one last time

"So, how about that Thai food" she smiles

"Wherever you go, I go Gilbert" I grab her hand and follow her into the restaurant

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys! Hope you liked this chapter, thanks for all the Review and Favorites, you guys are as amazing as always! I uploaded the first chapter to my new story Curveball, check it out if you want, and don't forget to tell me what you think about this chapter. Have a great week everyone!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Damon's POV:**

"Hey stef, you ready? The wedding planner said everything is ready to go"

He pauses to look at himself in the mirror and exhales a long breath

"Hey" I place my hand on his shoulder "Everything's ok, you really did it brother, you found your match"

"I know, I just hope I can be the husband she deserves"

"You will be" I pat him on the back "Now, let's get out there before she thinks you left her at the alter or something"

He laughs

"Thanks Damon, for everything"

"Anytime baby bro, anytime" I smirk and head towards the door that leads to the church stairs

"Hey" he stops me before I'm about to leave "You did it too you know… found your perfect match, you guys just need to hold onto each other this time"

"Believe me Stef, I'm not going loose her again"

He nods

Together we make our way onto the church stage

The age old wedding march begins to play and the giant oak doors at the end of the aisle open

Bonnie comes slowly walking down the aisle with a delicate bouquet of flowers

I turn to look at Stefan and see him shift nervously, anxious to see his bride

When I look back at the oak doors I see Elena step through, and my heart swells at the sight of her

She always looks beautiful, but right now, in this moment she's a goddess.

Despite how beautiful she looks in her yellow bridesmaid dress, I can't help but wish she was wearing a white one and that it was me who was waiting anxiously at the alter

And that's when it hit me… that idea no longer saddened me

It was no longer just an out-of-reach fantasy…

I was no longer pining for something I would never have…

It was my future

Not a matter of if, only a matter of when

I knew right then, in that moment that I would marry Elena Gilbert, maybe not next week, or next month, hell maybe not even in a year, but that was ok, because I knew it was only a matter of time

It was in that moment that I realized all of our suffering had not been in vain; it was actually our salvation…

Everything between us back then had been so rushed; so wrong

Even if we hadn't lost our baby we never stood a fighting chance, we were too young, and I was too immature, she was always going to feel like I wanted a relationship just so I wouldn't lose her, she wouldn't have realized it was because I actually loved her

Everything that has happened to us has brought us both to the place we need to be before we could ever move forward together

This realization has me smiling ear to ear, without me even realizing it

Everyone in the pews stands up and turns around to face the doors causing me to snap out of it, but Instead of looking at the doors, I smile at Elena and then turn to my brother to see his reaction

His lips turn up in the most genuine smile I've ever seen and his eyes are glistening with tears

I look back at Caroline and see why my brother is crying

If that was Elena walking towards me with that look of pure adoration on her face I'm pretty sure I would've lost my shit right then and there

I couldn't help but glance at Elena throughout the ceremony, after all of my major epiphanies in the last hour.

I want to tell her how sure I am about us, and how much I still love her

I remind myself that even though my head is suddenly free of all pain and doubt, hers may not be

I decide not to worry about it now, and to pay more attention to my brother, not wanting to miss anything

"Do you Stefan Salvatore take Caroline Forbes to be your wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death you do part" the minister asks

"I Do" my brother smiles

"Do you Caroline Forbes take Stefan Salvatore to be your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death you do part"

"I Do" she says in a voice full of happy tears

"I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss your bride"

They lean in and press their lips together

And everyone cheers

Even me…

No smart ass remark would do right now, because there was nothing funny about this moment

Nothing funny at all.

* * *

I see Elena Standing with some family friends on the other side of the room

As if she can sense me she looks up at that exact moment

I nudge my head to the side, motioning for her to meet me in the church courtyard

"Hey" she says when we're both outside

"And here I thought you couldn't possibly look any better than you did when you were up on that stage last night, and then today you just go and take my breath away" I smirk

"That's a very big compliment coming from you Mister Salvatore" she flirts

"Well it's true" I shift a little closer to her

"Then I'll take it" she whispers, moving closer to me too, it's like we're a pair of magnets

I lean down and press a soft kiss to her lips, but only for a second

When I pull away she's smiling

"Hey, what was going on with you up there, you looked like you were off in your own little world"

"I was; for a little bit anyways" I laugh

"Oh yeah" she giggles "What was so interesting?"

"Oh nothing much, just figuring out my existential purpose in life… you know, the usual" I smirk and shrug teasingly

"Oh yeah, and what'd you come up with, oh enlightened one" she laughs

"Just that I'm going to marry you" so much for keeping that to myself for awhile

I feel her body stiffen a little

"Relax" I shake her shoulders in attempt to loosen her up "I don't mean like right now, I just realized that no matter what way I look at my future, the only solid thing is that you're always in it, and I thought about keeping this revelation to myself for awhile, but I think if we've learned anything from our past it's that secrets don't work well for us, everything needs to be out in the open; and believe me I'm not trying to rush anything this time around, I fully intend on taking my time wooing you, I just wanted you to know what my intentions are so we can stay on the same page" I smirk

I pause, waiting for the response she seems to be mulling over

"I think I would be ok with that" she smiles

"Ok with what?"

"Being the next Mrs. Salvatore" she looks up at me "but you still have to work for it, I still want dates, and I still want to get to know each other" she pokes my chest

I nod

"And when the time comes I still want it to be special… like, down on one knee the whole nine yards of cheesy special"

"I wouldn't dream of depriving you of that" he teases

Then she grabs my tie and pulls me in for a kiss

"Well as long as we're being honest, I guess I should tell you I'm in love with you" she says nonchalantly after breaking our kiss

"Well I mean I did just tell you I wanted to marry you so I think it was kind of implied" I tease her

"Jerk" she smacks my chest

I grab her hand and pull her in close to me, my face changing from teasing to dead serious

"I love you too Elena Gilbert. Always have, always will" I cup her cheek

"God you're so much better at this than me" she whispers

I bend down and press another kiss to her lips

"Hey guys… oh, uh… sorry" Bonnie interrupts us

"Oh, no, it's fine" she says

This time we don't pull away from each other as fast as possible, we don't try to act casual, like we were just having a conversation…

No, this time she slips her arm around my waist, like she's proud to be at my side

"I just wanted to let you know they're about to start the toasts" Bonnie smiles knowingly

"OK, we'll be right in" Elena laughs at Bonnie's expression

"That was awkward" I laugh

"Well we might as well get used to it, people are gonna be a little weird about us getting back together for awhile"

"Eh, whatever… let them be weird" I shrug and press my lips to hers "now, how about we go give some epic toasts"

* * *

"I couldn't have wished for a better daughter, and nothing makes me happier than seeing my little girl marry the man of her dreams, welcome to the family Stefan" Caroline's mom sniffles

Then I see my dad stand up

"Oh this should be good" I whisper to Elena

"Stefan, you're a fine young man, and you've made me very proud" he raises his glass to the crowd

"Really… that's all he could come up with" I scoff

Elena just smiles and rubs my shoulder soothingly, even after everything my father has said and done to her over the years and she has still yet to say anything negative about him…

"Well, looks like I'm up… someone has to lighten the mood after that joyful display of affection" I whisper in her ear, before clinking my knife against the crustal water glass to get everyone's attention

" Stefan, I've watched you grow from the little baby mom and dad brought home from the hospital, to the annoying toddler who would break all of my toys, to the guy who crashed my first car when he was learning how to drive, but no matter what…through it all, you've always been my best friend, you're wise beyond your years, you've always been three steps ahead of me, always figuring out what you wanted when I was so blind, and today I watched you turn into the kind of man every woman wants, the kind of man Caroline can count on, and I'm so very proud to call you my best friend and my brother" I turn to look at Caroline "Blondie…" she gives me the evil eye "welcome to the family sister" I raise my glass "To Stefan and Caroline!"

I walk back down to Elena "You're up" I smirk and hand her the microphone

"I'm not sure I can follow that" she laughs awkwardly into the mic

"Caroline… I have no idea where I would be in life without you, you've been my rock for so long, anytime life knocked me down you were right there to pick me back up again, no questions asked; but now it's time for you to be Stefan's rock, to move forward and start a life with him. And let me tell you Stefan, you couldn't be more lucky, because when push comes to shove, there's no one better to have at your side then this girl right here… you may not be my blood Caroline Forbes, but you've always been my sister" she has tears glistening in her eyes, we all do, the guests may not know the full extent of what Elena is talking about, but Caroline truly has been her rock

Taking a deep breath Elena turns to Stefan

"Stefan, you're one of the most loving and forgiving people I know, you and I have a long history, and you have more than enough reasons to dislike me, yet you've never shown even an ounce of disdain towards me, and I'm so happy that Caroline found a man as loving as you to share her life with" she smiles sadly

"Thank you" Stefan words mutely

"To Stefan and Caroline!" she raises her glass

"You did great "I tell her when she's back by my side

"I had something else written down, something less personal, everyone in the room was probably uncomfortable" she blushes

"Not true, and it doesn't really matter what they think anyway… it meant the world to Caroline and my brother" I reassure her

"Thanks" she smiles

"How about a dance?" I ask, holding my hand out to her

"I'd be honored Mr. Salvatore" she places her hand in mine

I lead her onto the dance floor and pull her into my embrace

We slowly sway back and forth, turning in little circles

"This is nice" she sign in contentment

"You have no idea how long I've waited to have you back in my arms like this, to be in a place in my life where we were able to do this" I rub my hand up and down her back

"I think I some idea" she rests her head on my shoulder and we continue our slow dance

"I'm not going anywhere this time" she looks up at me reassuringly

"I know" I kiss her forehead "Besides, even if you did I would follow you to the ends of the earth, there's no going back now Gilbert" I smirk

"Now that I can live with" she giggles

She places her head pack down on my chest and hugs me tight against her body

"I love you Damon" she says sincerely

"Now that I can live with" I smile

* * *

**END A/N: ok first I'd like to apologize to you all about the wait for this chapter, I was in Vegas this past weekend and I tried to get it out to you before I left but it just wouldn't cooperate with me. Second this is the final chapter, besides the epilogue. I can't tell you how thankful I am to all of you for actually reading this story, you guys are amazing. I hope you all enjoy this chapter, let me know what you think!**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: I am so so sorry that it took me this long to get this out to you guys, my usual dull life, has been extremely hectic the last month. Things are finally calming down though so I finally had time to get this out to you guys and to also work on my other story. Again my deepest apologies and I hope you enjoy the final installment of Redemption! **

* * *

**Epilogue**(6 months later)

"Did you put the chicken on the barbecue yet?" I shout

"Not yet" he sing-songs back to me

"Well hurry They're going to be here soon" I sigh

"Just relax will you, they'll get here when they get here, and the food will be done when it's done" he wraps his arms around my waist and presses a kiss to the crook of my neck

"Mmm, what's got you so relaxed" I relax into his embrace

"I got my girl by my side, my family's coming over for dinner, what's there not to be relaxed about" he shrugs

"Yeah, but Caroline's coming over, that usually almost always works you into a tizzy" I laugh

"Well, I have a feeling I'm gonna have to be super nice to my new sister tonight" he smirks

"Why, what's going on?"

He just shrugs with a devious smirk on his face

"What do you know that I don't know?" I look at him skeptically

"Nothing…"

"Damon…" I point at him

"Ok fine, I'll cave. I don't know anything, just that Stefan has been walking around all week with this ridiculous grin on his face, and I just have a strong suspicion that the Salvatore family will have one more member, in about 8 or so months" he shrugs

"What?! " I squeal "did Stefan say something to you?!"

"No, but I know my brother and something is definitely up"

"Oh my god, now that I think about it Caroline did say she was excited for tonight… I just thought it was because I haven't seen her in awhile… Oh my god Damon, this is huge!"

"Ok ok, calm down, they're going to be here any minute and we can't spoil their surprise; besides I have some chicken to cook" he smirks at me before heading back out to the grill

* * *

"This chicken is delicious" Caroline moans before taking another bite

"It's really good babe" I nod in agreement

"Damon's always been a great cook but I have to say this might be some of your best work yet" Stefan smiles

"Ok guys we better take it back a notch or we won't all be able fit in the house due to his giant ego" I nudge him

"Oh come on, I am not that big of an egomaniac" he defends

"Yes you are" Stefan says quickly

"I love you, but you totally are" I nod teasingly

Damon turns to Caroline, waiting for her to add her two cents

"Sorry brother-in-law, but I'm with them on this one… you definitely are"

"Whatever you guys all suck" he pouts

"But we love you just the same" I lean in a kiss him on the cheek

"Yeah, yeah whatever" he mumbles

"So what's new with you guys" I turn to Stefan and Caroline

'Well actually, we have some news…" Caroline starts

I nod in anticipation for her to continue

"I've decided to go back to school" she smiles ear to ear

"Wait what?" I say, stunned

"Yeah I've decided I really want to study nursing, it's always been in the back of my mind and I think it's time I finally go for it or I'm always going to wonder you know…"

I don't know what to say, so I just wait for her to continue

"Yeah, I was just a little afraid to tell you cause this mean we're going to be moving back to New York for awhile…What do you think?"

"I uh, that was the last thing I was expecting you to say" I laugh "but I think it's great! I've always thought you would make a fantastic nurse" I hug her

"Awe, thanks 'Lena" she squeezes me back "Wait, what were you expecting me to say?"

"Oh… um, well actually…" I stutter

"Nothing" Damon interrupts "We knew something was going on with you guys but we had no idea what it was…"

"Elena" she looks at me accusingly

"We thought you were pregnant" I blurt out

"What?! Where on earth did you come up with that idea…? Oh my god! Do I look like I've put on weight or something?"

"No! No, I don't know, Damon said Stefan had been acting overly happy lately, and then you told me you were really excited about tonight and then I guess we just put two and two together, but we were way off"

"I'm happy to be moving back to New York, you guys know how much I loved living in the city" Stefan laughs

"Yeah, it well makes sense now" I laugh too

"Well I hope I was right about at least one thing tonight" Damon says, interrupting our laughter

"Oh and what's that?" I giggle

"That there will be another member of the Salvatore family soon" and with that he drops down to one knee

"Oh my god" the hilarity of the previous situation is completely lost on my now

"I know that this all may seem a little fast since we've only been together for six months but I love you Elena, I've loved you for the past five years and I promise to keeping loving you as long as you'll have me, and I'll completely understand if you still want to wait.. "

"Yes" I interrupt him

"Really?" he sounds stunned, like her doesn't believe me

"Yes, of course I'll marry you" I cup his face in my hands and press his lips to mine

"I love you" he whispers into my lips

"I love you too, Damon"

* * *

**Damon's POV **(8 Months later)

As the bridesmaids come walking towards me in their baby blue dresses I'm struck with a strong sense of déjà vu,

Back to Stefan and Caroline's wedding day, when Elena and I were getting closer but still so far away, I'm reminded of how overwhelmed I was with the fact that it wasn't going to be Elena stepping through those large oak church doors, that it wasn't her that would be walking down the aisle dressed in white… No matter how badly I'd wished it was

But today it would be

Today was our day

Today I'm the lucky man waiting anxiously to catch the first glimpse of his bride; to look into the eyes of the woman I love and promise each other forever.

After today, I can truly call her mine

And that right there is why I wouldn't change a thing; all of the suffering, pain, and heartbreak we endured was worth it, I wouldn't take it away if I could, because all of those things led me here… to this moment, to this church, in this tuxedo, grinning ear to ear

"You look happy" Stefan leans in and whispers

"I am" I reply, not even bothering to try and hide my smile

"Good, you should be. You deserve it" he nods back to the church doors, signaling me to turn back around

The crowd turns to face the doors as the age old wedding march begins to play

My heart starts beating double its normal rate

She steps through the doors, arm linked with Jeremy's

And I stop breathing

She's dressed in the most beautiful wedding dress I've ever seen

Or maybe it's that it's being worn by the most beautiful girl I've ever seen

She looks up at me with her big brown doe eyes, and smiles

And just like that, I've never been surer about anything in my entire life

"Who gives this woman to this man?" The pastor brings me back to the present

"I do" Jeremy announces proudly, I turn to hug him before taking Elena's hand and leading her onto the platform with me

The pastor starts talking about the elements of a marriage, and how it likes a puzzle and you have to make the pieces fit, even when they don't want to, everything has to be a compromise; and I know I should be paying closer attention to what he's saying but I'm too wrapped up in Elena.

As soon as I took her hand and she followed me willingly, it was like stepping into our own private bubble

I love you - I lip silently to her

I love you too – she offers back

"Damon, please repeat after me; Do not urge me to leave you, or turn back from you" he pauses, waiting for me to recite my vows

"Do not urge me to leave you, or turn back from you"

"Where you go, I will go. And where you stay, I will stay"

"Where you go, I will go. And where you stay, I will stay" I repeat

"Your people will be my people and your God my God" he continues

"Your people will be my people and your God my God"

"Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried" he finishes

"Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried" I smile at Elena

The vows we chose may be a little morbid, but truer words have never been spoken.

"Elena, please repeat after me"

When Elena turns to me to recite her vows, the look in her eyes is one of pure love, one that I definitely don't deserve…

I've hurt her so much in the past; I did everything in my power to push her away

Someone with as much malice in them as me should never be shown this kind of love

Yet here she is, giving it to me willingly

Asking me to accept it

Vowing to be mine, and mine only until death do us part.

"Damon you may now kiss your bride" I'm so glad he finally said I could, because I'm not sure I could have held off any longer

I cup her neck with my hands, pull her close to me, and press my lips to hers

The kiss of a lifetime

The knowledge that this is the first time I'm kissing my wife has my heart swelling with joy

All of that other stuff doesn't matter

No one else matters right now

Because today…

Well…today is the first day of our lives.

_The End._

* * *

**End A/N: ok so this Epilogue was extremely hard to get out. I've been on vacation for so long it's been hard to get back into the swing of things, and I'm pretty sure my muse is still laying on a hammock somewhere back in Cabo. I hope you all enjoyed this story, you're the only reasons I kept writing it; every review was a little piece of inspiration. I promise I will continue my other story; a new chapter should be up by Friday. Thanks again for following me through my first fanfic journey! **


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